How To Set New Year's Resolutions That Work

Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep. That’s because people make unrealistic resolutions with no game plan of how to achieve them. Well, I am going to tell you how you can make and keep realistic resolutions.

First, let’s jettison the use of the word resolutions and use goals instead.

Second, if you made a resolution today, or tomorrow or on New Year’s Day, throw it away. You did it too early. Over the holidays we are all off our game. We haven’t been at work, we’ve been home or traveling, we’ve overindulged or overspent or overimbibed. We’re sick of our families or sick of ourselves or can’t button our pants. Setting a goal amidst this highly charged atmosphere is not a good idea.

Instead take a few weeks to get back into the swing of things, so you can take a more accurate stock of where you are and where you want to be. Then, ask yourself:

•What do I want more of in my life?

•What do I want less of?

•What do I want to improve?

•What do I want to change?

•Where do I want to be professionally?

Now you can set the right goals. For one’s personal life, instead of setting a goal, I recommend choosing a word or theme for the year. Think about how you want to live your life and think of a word that captures that. For example, if you want to lose weight and shape up, your word may be Slim or Healthy. If you want to make do with less or be less cluttered, your word may be Streamline. If you want more money, your word may be Wealth. Think of a positive word that conjures the vision of how you want to live, and then develop a game plan to achieve that.

Last year, my word was Quality. I wanted a better quality of life, both personally and professionally. So I started say no to things and only focused on the highest quality interactions, the things that really mattered to me. And it was a great year. That one word infused all of my personal and professional dealings and interactions, from the clothes I bought to the trips I took to the clients and projects I took on.

The key is to think about what you really want in the coming year, and then choose a word that captures it.

Once you chose your word or theme, think about what you need to do or change to live that life. Set measurable, realistic actions to get there. Then write them down.

For example, if your word of the year is Wealth, your goal is to have more money, so your action items may be to get a raise (and all that that entails), clip coupons, car pool, walk to work, pack your lunch, find a new financial adviser, etc. If your word of the year is Slim and your goal is to lose weight, your action items will include choosing apples over M & Ms, taking the stairs, getting more exercise, using smaller plates, walking to work, etc.

But remember: every action must be doable. You can’t plan to work out an hour a day if that is impossible, so chose action items that are realistic. And all of the choices you make every day must work toward that goal, not away from it.

Now, for your work life, think about what you want to achieve professionally. If you are an assistant manager and want to be a manager, figure out the steps you need to take to get there. A good way to do this is find someone who has the position or career you want and find out how they got there. What do people in that position have that you don’t? What was their career course? Your action plan may include working longer hours, doing more networking, taking professional development classes, etc.

Here are a few final points to make about goals:

•Write your goals or word of the year down, and put it where you can see it. You need to remind yourself what you are working toward.

•Reevaluate your goals and your action plans. If you aren’t seeing results, perhaps you may need to tweak the game plan a bit. Don’t despair; just figure out why it isn’t working and how to make it work.

•Slow and steady wins the race, every time. Remember, you have to develop new habits to reach your goal. It is the little steps, taken every day, that will add up to results. Ask yourself: Are my actions, however small, moving me closer to my goal or away from it?

Think broadly and realistically about your life, where you are, and where you want to be both personally and professionally. Make sure the goals you set for yourself are realistic, attainable, measurable and mesh with what you really want out of life.

Have a great year!

Let's Talk Live Segment on Beating Holiday Stress

Here is my recent segment on News Channel 8's "Let's Talk Live" about beating holiday stress:

http://bcove.me/z916ri8p

Five Ways to Beat Holiday Stress

Ah, the holidays. Everyone knows it should be a time of joy and togetherness, of peace and love, but it's hard to love the holidays when it just feels like one big to-do list. Here are five tips to make the holidays a happier, less stressful time.

1. Get organized. Think about the things you really need and want to do. Prioritize, make lists and make a schedule. What gets done gets done, but if you’re organized and have prioritized, then you are much more likely to get the really important things done.

2. Simplify and streamline. Adjust your expectations and try to focus on the things that are really important and jettison the rest. Think quality over quantity. Maybe get the same gift for everyone, or cut the list back a bit. Do you really need to do everything you think you do? Try to do with less.

3. Delegate. You don’t have to do everything. Get your spouse or family members to share the workload, and then make peace with the results.

4. Take time to look around. Literally. Stop what you are doing and look at the decorations and the pretty lights. Listen to holiday music. Window shop. Go to church or temple. Do something holiday-ish, like take the kids for a drive around town to see the lights. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of the season.

5. Keep it simple at work, and remember the rules. Like, don’t buy your boss a gift unless you pull her name in the Secret Santa exchange and don’t get drunk at the office party. Speaking of the office party, remember that even though it is a social event, it is still work, so be on your best behavior. It’s a great opportunity to socialize, network and develop relationships.

WWMB Interview

Watch my Washington Business Journal's Women Who Mean Business interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxD_U9c0ceE&feature=email

The Skills You Need NOW!

As the economy continues to contract, employers are increasingly looking for generalists, not specialists. The skills that landed you that job 15, 10 or even 5 years ago may not be enough to stay afloat or get ahead in today's workplace. What do you need to do to stay viable today? I discuss that and more in this TV segment on News Channel 8's Capitol Insider:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid180211731001?bctid=657795139001

Vote for me!

I know, I know, enough already with the shameless promotion, but the Washington Business Journal is doing a Reader’s Choice Award for their 2010 Women Who Mean Business Honorees, and I would love to get your vote! Just click the link below to vote. I am, conveniently, the first name on the list. Thanks everyone!

http://www2.bizjournals.com/washington/events/2010/women_who_mean_business/vote-for-the-2010-women-who-mean.html

I'm a "Woman Who Means Business"!

I am a little embarrassed to blow my own horn, but this is really exciting: I was just named one of the Washington Business Journal’s 2010 Women Who Mean Business.

From the WBJ’s Oct. 8 press release:

Mary Abbajay, president and co-founder of Careerstone Group, LLC, has been named one of our 2010 Women Who Mean Business. The Washington Business Journal’s Women Who Mean Business awards program is designed to honor the region's most influential businesswomen. These women have made a difference in their communities, blazed a trail for the rest of us, and are leaving a mark on business in the Washington area. Recipients will be honored at a Nov. 18 awards ceremony and profiled in the Nov. 19-25 edition of the Washington Business Journal.