theworkinglife

How To Set New Year's Resolutions That Work

2010-12-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep. That’s because people make unrealistic resolutions with no game plan of how to achieve them. Well, I am going to tell you how you can make and keep realistic resolutions.

First, let’s jettison the use of the word resolutions and use goals instead.

Second, if you made a resolution today, or tomorrow or on New Year’s Day, throw it away. You did it too early. Over the holidays we are all off our game. We haven’t been at work, we’ve been home or traveling, we’ve overindulged or overspent or overimbibed. We’re sick of our families or sick of ourselves or can’t button our pants. Setting a goal amidst this highly charged atmosphere is not a good idea.

Instead take a few weeks to get back into the swing of things, so you can take a more accurate stock of where you are and where you want to be. Then, ask yourself:

•What do I want more of in my life?

•What do I want less of?

•What do I want to improve?

•What do I want to change?

•Where do I want to be professionally?

Now you can set the right goals. For one’s personal life, instead of setting a goal, I recommend choosing a word or theme for the year. Think about how you want to live your life and think of a word that captures that. For example, if you want to lose weight and shape up, your word may be Slim or Healthy. If you want to make do with less or be less cluttered, your word may be Streamline. If you want more money, your word may be Wealth. Think of a positive word that conjures the vision of how you want to live, and then develop a game plan to achieve that.

Last year, my word was Quality. I wanted a better quality of life, both personally and professionally. So I started say no to things and only focused on the highest quality interactions, the things that really mattered to me. And it was a great year. That one word infused all of my personal and professional dealings and interactions, from the clothes I bought to the trips I took to the clients and projects I took on.

The key is to think about what you really want in the coming year, and then choose a word that captures it.

Once you chose your word or theme, think about what you need to do or change to live that life. Set measurable, realistic actions to get there. Then write them down.

For example, if your word of the year is Wealth, your goal is to have more money, so your action items may be to get a raise (and all that that entails), clip coupons, car pool, walk to work, pack your lunch, find a new financial adviser, etc. If your word of the year is Slim and your goal is to lose weight, your action items will include choosing apples over M & Ms, taking the stairs, getting more exercise, using smaller plates, walking to work, etc.

But remember: every action must be doable. You can’t plan to work out an hour a day if that is impossible, so chose action items that are realistic. And all of the choices you make every day must work toward that goal, not away from it.

Now, for your work life, think about what you want to achieve professionally. If you are an assistant manager and want to be a manager, figure out the steps you need to take to get there. A good way to do this is find someone who has the position or career you want and find out how they got there. What do people in that position have that you don’t? What was their career course? Your action plan may include working longer hours, doing more networking, taking professional development classes, etc.

Here are a few final points to make about goals:

•Write your goals or word of the year down, and put it where you can see it. You need to remind yourself what you are working toward.

•Reevaluate your goals and your action plans. If you aren’t seeing results, perhaps you may need to tweak the game plan a bit. Don’t despair; just figure out why it isn’t working and how to make it work.

•Slow and steady wins the race, every time. Remember, you have to develop new habits to reach your goal. It is the little steps, taken every day, that will add up to results. Ask yourself: Are my actions, however small, moving me closer to my goal or away from it?

Think broadly and realistically about your life, where you are, and where you want to be both personally and professionally. Make sure the goals you set for yourself are realistic, attainable, measurable and mesh with what you really want out of life.

Have a great year!

Let's Talk Live Segment on Beating Holiday Stress

2010-12-21T07:39:00.001-08:00

Here is my recent segment on News Channel 8's "Let's Talk Live" about beating holiday stress:

http://bcove.me/z916ri8p

Five Ways to Beat Holiday Stress

2010-12-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Ah, the holidays. Everyone knows it should be a time of joy and togetherness, of peace and love, but it's hard to love the holidays when it just feels like one big to-do list. Here are five tips to make the holidays a happier, less stressful time.

1. Get organized. Think about the things you really need and want to do. Prioritize, make lists and make a schedule. What gets done gets done, but if you’re organized and have prioritized, then you are much more likely to get the really important things done.

2. Simplify and streamline. Adjust your expectations and try to focus on the things that are really important and jettison the rest. Think quality over quantity. Maybe get the same gift for everyone, or cut the list back a bit. Do you really need to do everything you think you do? Try to do with less.

3. Delegate. You don’t have to do everything. Get your spouse or family members to share the workload, and then make peace with the results.

4. Take time to look around. Literally. Stop what you are doing and look at the decorations and the pretty lights. Listen to holiday music. Window shop. Go to church or temple. Do something holiday-ish, like take the kids for a drive around town to see the lights. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of the season.

5. Keep it simple at work, and remember the rules. Like, don’t buy your boss a gift unless you pull her name in the Secret Santa exchange and don’t get drunk at the office party. Speaking of the office party, remember that even though it is a social event, it is still work, so be on your best behavior. It’s a great opportunity to socialize, network and develop relationships.

WWMB Interview

2010-11-29T07:30:00.000-08:00

Watch my Washington Business Journal's Women Who Mean Business interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxD_U9c0ceE&feature=email

The Skills You Need NOW!

2010-11-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

As the economy continues to contract, employers are increasingly looking for generalists, not specialists. The skills that landed you that job 15, 10 or even 5 years ago may not be enough to stay afloat or get ahead in today's workplace. What do you need to do to stay viable today? I discuss that and more in this TV segment on News Channel 8's Capitol Insider:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid180211731001?bctid=657795139001

Vote for me!

2010-11-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, enough already with the shameless promotion, but the Washington Business Journal is doing a Reader’s Choice Award for their 2010 Women Who Mean Business Honorees, and I would love to get your vote! Just click the link below to vote. I am, conveniently, the first name on the list. Thanks everyone!

http://www2.bizjournals.com/washington/events/2010/women_who_mean_business/vote-for-the-2010-women-who-mean.html

I'm a "Woman Who Means Business"!

2010-10-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

I am a little embarrassed to blow my own horn, but this is really exciting: I was just named one of the Washington Business Journal’s 2010 Women Who Mean Business.

From the WBJ’s Oct. 8 press release:

Mary Abbajay, president and co-founder of Careerstone Group, LLC, has been named one of our 2010 Women Who Mean Business. The Washington Business Journal’s Women Who Mean Business awards program is designed to honor the region's most influential businesswomen. These women have made a difference in their communities, blazed a trail for the rest of us, and are leaving a mark on business in the Washington area. Recipients will be honored at a Nov. 18 awards ceremony and profiled in the Nov. 19-25 edition of the Washington Business Journal.

The Power of Persuasion!

2010-10-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

Want to know how you can use your powers of persuasion to your advantage? Watch my latest segment from News Channel 8's Let's Talk Live to understand the power of persuasion, and why it works:

http://tbd.ly/dmpqu2

Get Lucky

2010-06-07T14:43:00.000-07:00

10 Tips For Hiring a Consultant

2010-04-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

10 Tips for choosing a consultant, coach or other “workplace/career adviser”

1. Make sure you need a consultant/coach/workplace adviser. Examine current staffing/situation/skill set and make a calculated decision—what kind of help do you really need? Just because a consultant is expensive—doesn’t necessarily mean they are more skilled. Always check with your in house talent first—you might be surprised what kind of solutions your staff can come up with!

2. Know what you want the consultant to do. Be clear about what kind of expertise/assistance you want/need. Different consultants offer different types of expertise and guidance. Are you looking for a:

Expert—someone who tells you exactly what to do? Like a tax advisor?
Pair of Hands—someone who will do exactly what you need them to do—like a temporary employee?
Collaborator—someone who will partner with you to explore potential

3. Be honest about your willingness to change. Clarify your goals—what are you trying to accomplish? Are you really willing to do the changes necessary? A consultant’s work is only useful if you use it!

4. Find someone focused on your needs—not theirs. Many consultants get stuck in a certain model or “intervention” and try to make problems fit their preconceived solutions. You want to make sure your consultant custom designs a solution just for you! During your first meeting a good coach/consultant should: Interview you—ask questions about your business, your requirements, your expected outcomes. They should not spend their first meeting deluging you with stories of past contracts

5. Ask for and check references. Make sure you consultant is experienced and credentialed!Ask those references for other references!

6. Find somebody you like, trust and respect! And with whom you have good communication and rapport. Personality and fit are essential—chances are some issues may require close collaboration with the consultant. All things being equal it is easier to work with someone you like—or whose personality fits the culture of the organization. Open communication is essential! Make sure you find someone who really listens to you!

7. Choose someone who is willing to tell you the truth. A good coach, consultant, advisor must be willing to give you their honest opinion about what is going on. If you find your consultant agrees with everything you say and holds the exact same perspective as you—then you haven’t hired a consultant—you’ve just paid someone to agree with you.

8. Don’t hire your chief of staff's second cousin once removed. Avoid hiring anyone related to good friends, staff members, etc.—unless the referral comes from a trusted outside source who has used the consultant. Look for “real” consultants—people who are full time and have related experience.

9. Get a contract/proposal in writing! Take the time to spell out goals, deliverables, and processes. Design the alliance—this is about clarifying expectations on both sides. A good consulting relationship is essential for finding and implementing effective solutions that will work for you and your organization.

10. Be prepared to manage the relationship! Consultants need feedback and guidance to do their jobs wellDon’t just hire the consultant and ignore the contractTreat your consultant as partner—this will result in your consultant being more generous with their experiences, objectivity, and expertisePay your consultant as agreed upon! Nothing sours a relationship like bad money mojo.

Adjusting To A New Job

2010-03-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

Congratulations. You are starting a new job. This is exciting, and you should look on it as a new adventure in the book of life. However, for many people, starting a new job can cause anxiety. That’s perfectly understandable. After all, starting a new job means new co-workers, new office policies and procedures, a new environment and probably new software and/or equipment. But don’t underestimate the power of being new. Don’t let the minutiae of all the new details bog you down. This is a great opportunity, and you can take advantage of it to really stand out if you follow just a little practical advice.

Manage Expectations

The day you accept the offer is the day you should start preparing for your new job. There are several steps involved here. The first is to accept that transitions are hard. You need to start managing your expectations for both leaving your old job and starting your new one. Be prepared for a little bit of emotional let down as you make the adjustment. Change is hard. Whether this is your first job or a new one, this will be a big adjustment for you. The location is different, the hours may be longer or shorter, and the atmosphere will almost certainly be different. You need to prepare yourself for the adjustment, and manage your expectations.

In terms of a send-off or a welcome wagon, don’t expect a fanfare. Very often, former employers and colleagues don’t make leaving easy, nor do new employers and new colleagues make starting easy. You need to be your own best friend here and keep a positive attitude. They probably won’t throw you a party when you leave your old job, and they certainly won’t throw you one at your new job. That doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome, of course, but just be realistic, manage your expectations, and don’t read too much into the welcome wagon, or lack thereof. Assume that you are wanted (they wouldn’t have hired you otherwise), but don’t expect a cake.

Prepare for the First Day, and For Continued Success

You want to make a great impression at your new job. And there are three tried and true ways to do this: dress the part, be prepared and get there on time. First, dress for success. If you interviewed at the firm and toured the workplace, you should have some idea of what the dress code is (and if you haven’t you should definitely ask before your start). Pay attention to how people are dressed during your interview.

By now, every person should know what is appropriate and inappropriate in the workplace, but the most important factor here is that you match the culture and needs of the organization. For some jobs, the dress code is obvious: you may wear a uniform, for example. But for other firms you will have to figure it out. If there is an employee manual with a dress code policy, read it. Remember that industries vary. Bankers dress differently than TV producers. Teachers may or may not be able to wear jeans. Account managers may have to wear nylons if they wear skirts. These are things you must find out before you start. Pay close attention to the finer points of the dress code, and assess the average level of dressiness. And if there is a dress code policy in the employee manual, read it. Find out:

Do women wear tights or hose? High heels? Skirts, suits or slacks?
Do men wear playful or conservative ties?
Does anyone ever wear sneakers or casual loafers?
Do employees wear tailored, formal pants or standard-fare chinos?
Who wears jeans? T-shirts?

The best course of action is to spend the first week or two a little bit overdressed or matched with the most formally dressed person you see in the office. Then, once you understand the dress code and dress within it, you will be able to integrate your own sense of individual style within that aesthetic. And by waiting to bring your unique sensibility to your office attire, you'll be sure not to inadvertently rub others the wrong way or give the impression that you don't care or don't take your new job seriously.

Second, prepare ahead of time for the big morning. The night before your first day, you should plan what you are going to wear and get out everything you need for the new job, including any badges, parking passes, forms, your lunch, snacks, thermos, etc. You do not want to be scrambling for these things in the morning. In fact, you want to be bright eyed and bushy-tailed on day one, so go to bed early. And triple check that you have set the alarm. The last thing you want to do is yawn, slump or look baggy eyed. And no drinking the night before. The last thing you want is to look drained or, God forbid, smell like booze.

Third, be on time. Better yet, be early. To do this you need to be clear as a bell about your transportation and how long it takes to get there. If you drive, you should have the route mapped out and your departure timed so that you will get there ten minutes early. If you take public transportation, same thing. Figure it out ahead of time. You should also find out where you need to be, to whom you need to report, or which office you should start in. You should get any special instructions ahead of time. The worst thing you can do is be late to your first day on the job.

A few other tips: Be courteous and respectful with everyone you meet on the way in, especially parking attendants, receptionists and security guards. These people are your colleagues, too, and should be treated with respect. They can always help you if, say, you get lost or need help or have questions. Plus, you never know who they know, so be respectful and kind.

Remember, you want to make a positive impression and be on your toes. So dress the part, be well rested, be prepared and be on time. Trust me, this means a lot.

The First Day, and Beyond

So, you are at the new job. Now comes the hard part: the actual work. What are the expectations they have for you? The first thing to do is meet with your new boss or supervisor as soon as possible to review your job responsibilities and find out exactly what is expected of you. You want to really take the time to clarify his/her expectations, needs, and wants. It is critical that you learn and understand your role in the organization. Don’t rely simply on that 60-minute interview for your marching orders. On the first day, you should meet with them to establish goals and define your objectives. Your objectives, goals and responsibilities may evolve as you settle in, but starting right away will give you direction when you most need it.

Now, don’t be surprised if there is a little disorganization/disorientation on the first day, or if you don’t feel altogether welcome. Most employers don’t really do a great job of onboarding people, which means orienting them to the new workplace, its ebbs and flows, or what they will be doing on a daily basis. So lower your expectations a bit.

On the other hand, their expectations may be very high, expecting you to jump right in, so find out what they expect. This really depends on the level or position for which you were hired. Expectations for leaders are very different than expectations for receptionists. It is a lot easier to jump right in answering phones than it is to lead a team of people you’ve just met. This is why the first step is so important – find out what they want you to do right away.

Remember another thing: you were hired for your expertise and experience (or talent and potential, or some combination thereof). They liked what they saw and so they brought you on board. But remember that you need to learn your new firm’s way of doing things. You need to respect the culture of the new organization. So, observing and asking questions is the best course of action right out of the gate. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, In fact, it would be a little suspicious if you didn’t. Try to make a list of all of your questions so that you can get the most out of other people’s time. And take notes! Asking people the same questions over and over can be really annoying.

And don’t stress out. Easier said than done. You probably feel like all eyes are on you, and you’re probably right. There are lots of simple stress reduction techniques you can use. First find out where the bathroom is. This is obvious, but don’t be afraid to use it! Take mini breaks throughout the day, and try deep breathing or repeating your mantra to yourself, or visualize yourself succeeding. Whatever helps. Also, if there is a mentoring program, take advantage of it. This is a great way to learn the ropes, the culture and smooth your transition.

Socializing With Your New Colleagues

Your new colleagues may or may not be receptive to you, but you certainly have to be receptive to them. Work is a social environment and to be successful, no matter what your position is, you must take the time to get to know your new colleagues. Here’s how. First, don’t be a know-it-all. Don’t talk too much. Instead, listen. It’s not all about you – make it all about them and the new workplace. Ask questions. Be curious. Introduce yourself. Find out about them. Find out what is going on in the organization. Resist the urge to make it all about yourself.
Being the new guy is the perfect time to show deference and respect and to listen and absorb all that they have to say.

Lunch is an important break in the day, and an excellent opportunity to connect with new colleagues. But you’ll have to play the lunch thing by ear until you find out what the lunch culture of the organization is: Do people leave? Do they get an hour? Do they eat at their desks? Is there a cafeteria? Do they eat together in the break room? Chances are, on your first day, someone will guide you in the right direction. Your new boss or your new colleagues may want to take you to lunch. Or not. Lunch may be an informal grab-a-sandwich-in-the-break room sort of thing. (And this is why it was smart to bring a lunch or some snacks, in case the office turns out to be the sort of place where no one leaves for lunch.) If there is a lunchroom that people use, go there, ask if you may join some people and introduce yourself. Whatever you do, don’t make outside plans to have lunch with friends. Stick around your new office. Go with the flow and use lunch as the great opportunity it is.

Last But Not Least
So you’ve prepared yourself, dressed for success and are having a great day. There are just a few other do’s and don’ts for you new job:

Don’t spend the day texting or phoning friends. No personal stuff of any kind!
Don’t get caught updating your Facebook page on your first day.
Don’t smoke in front of anyone.
Don’t leave, even for a latte run. And certainly don’t leave early, unless someone is dying.
The walls have ears, so don’t talk about your new job or your new boss in anything but the most glowing of terms. Similarly, don’t badmouth your former employer or place of work.
Don’t flirt. Period.
Don’t put in for vacation time. Unless you’ve pre-negotiated a vacation up front, I’d wait six months to even ask.

It is OK to start networking immediately. You should absolutely attend any office happy hours, parties, and other social events Accept invitations for lunch, dinner, seminars, events, etc. But remember, if you go out for cocktails after work or attend an event with colleagues, have only one drink. No exceptions. And no shots.

Stay positive! One of the things that make it difficult to adjust to a new job is negativity. If you assume that people don't like you or you automatically make judgments about things at the office that you aren't going to like then you're going to find it difficult to approach the job with a positive attitude. Try to focus on the things that you like so far about the work and stay away from anyone that is saying negative things on the job.

The Working Life: Working From Home

2010-01-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

The Plusses and Pitfalls of Working from Home

Today, more and more people are opting to telework, to work from home. Whether you are an independent contractor with your own business, a freelancer or a regular nine-to-five employee, the option to work from home is more prevalent than ever, and more and more people are taking advantage of this opportunity.

Teleworking offers many advantages, like more flexibility, no commute, no dress code, and more time with the family. Sounds like a win-win, right? Yes and no. There are plusses and pitfalls to working from home, but you can easily structure your teleworking to be productive and meaningful.

The pros of working from home
Many of the benefits to working from home are “fun.” You can work in your pajamas, your dog can sit in your lap, you can go without a shower, you can listen to whatever music you want. Other benefits are very real, in terms of the bottom line. For example, your commute is however long it takes to get to your computer, so you save time, money and the stress of having to get to the office every day.

There are also no unwanted interruptions from office mates or office drama to distract you. This offers more potential for increased focus, concentration and productivity.

For the employer, the benefits are many, as well. Increasingly, many people want to telework, so this is a great perk to offer your employees and a great recruitment tool. Working from home can increase employee satisfaction and morale, and both of those can contribute to increased productivity. The employer’s overhead also goes down, which adds up to a substantial savings. Teleworking can be a win-win for both employer and employee.

The Cons of Working From Home
But there is a downside as well. Remember that the workplace is s social organization, and when you work from home that social fabric is missing. Person-to-person interaction is gone. You can feel disconnected. This can hurt you emotionally, especially if you are social person, but it can also hurt teamwork and workplace relationships, both of which are crucial to getting things done. You may also miss out on the political “game” of the office, which is actually a crucial component of networking.

Conversely, even if you like to be separate and out of the mix, you can feel as if they don’t trust you, especially if they ask you to attend meetings, check in or call to check up on your work.

Also, if you are not a self motivated person or if you need a lot of instruction or supervision, working from home may not be right for you.

Setting Up for Success
Many people think working from home would be heaven. In reality, lots of people flail when they telework because they are distracted by their homes. They forget that working from home has to emphasis the work, not the home. In order to be successful, you have to take teleworking seriously and set clear boundaries in your home. Whether you are a consultant, a freelancer or a full-time employee, if you are going to work from home successfully, it all boils down to self-motivation and self-control. You’ve got to be able to set boundaries, minimize distractions and focus on the work.

First, carve out a home office. You need to have a dedicated space for your work. The living room couch won’t cut it. You have to take teleworking seriously, and this is best achieved if you take your workspace seriously. You need a place to work without distraction, a place that is recognized by your family as your workspace and a place where you can keep your work materials safe and separate from your home life.

Second, you have to create boundaries, not just with a clearly defined workspace but also with your family and friends. Establish a protocol, make clear when you are working and when you can and can’t be disturbed.

Third, equip yourself properly and professionally. Get a computer just for you and your work. Get the proper supplies. And get a dedicated phone line for your work. You can’t be taken seriously if your husband answers the phone in his usual charming way, or your son doesn’t take proper messages, or your daughter rushes you to get off because she is waiting for a call, or if your answering machine features the cute-only-to-you voice of your five-year-old. If you are going to work from home or have a home business, you have to prepare yourself and behave in a professional manner. And this means a separate line for work calls.

If you’re a freelancer or consultant you’re on your own here, but if you are a company employee, your firm may provide assistance or equipment for your home office. Don’t expect much, though. Teleworking is still new enough that most companies don’t provide assistance, but you can always ask. You never know. Your company may be willing to offset the cost of or even provide a smart phone, a phone line, a computer or other necessities for your home office, so you can be as productive as possible and communicate effectively. Just ask them what they are willing to provide.

Fourth, reduce distractions. You have to be able to ignore the laundry, the dishes, Mad Men Season Two, Oprah, running errands and other household distractions. And, just like at the office, don’t constantly answer personal phone calls, e-mails, or surf the Internet while working. But don’t be foolish about it either; set aside time every hour to do so. Just remember, working from home is more about the working than the home.

Last, you need to establish the parameters of your working hours. If you are with a company find out when they want you to be available and stick to that. They will establish with you some guidelines. If you are freelance, you can obviously establish your own hours, but you have to decide what those will be. Will you take clients calls 24/7? Is lunchtime blocked out? When will you start? When do clients want you to check in? Working from home can be a slippery slop to all access, all the time, so think about what you or your company wants, and set your schedule. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have set hours. Just decide what those will be.

Staying in the Game, From Home
Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, one of the most important things to do in business is to network. And those who work from home are already cut off from the workplace, so you have to make an extra effort to get out there and network.

These days, lots of networking can be done on-line, through sites like LinkedIn, Facebook and others. But you should still maintain an active physical presence. Nothing beats face-to-face interactions, and you should always look for ways to do so. If you work for a company, make sure you go to the office at least once a week. Attend meetings, lunches, social gatherings and other opportunities.

If you are a freelancer or a consultant, find ways to network. Go to parties, lunches, seminars and programs. Join clubs and professional organizations. You have to combine the electronic world with the physical world in order to keep your network healthy and growing.

Working at home can be productive, rewarding, convenient and cost-effective. The key is to set yourself up for success and remember to focus on the work.

You can hear Mary discuss this topic on the radio. Click on The Working Life audio: http://www.wmzq.com/pages/wafaudio.html

Mary Abbajay is a partner in the Careerstone Group LLC, a full service organizational and leadership development consultancy that specializes in creating effective, productive and positive workplaces where high-engagement meets high performance. She can be reached at mary@careerstonegroup.com

Is Your Network Wide Enough?

2009-09-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

Diversify Your Network

In any market, the most important thing you can do to advance your career and professional interests is to network. But now, as our economy shifts and changes, as new technologies arise and old ones are replaced, networking is more imperative than ever.

Opportunities don’t come from the sky. They come from other people. Who you know is still as important as what you know. And this means networking. Without developing a network, how are other people going to find you? Who is going to come knocking on your door? You have to create and nurture a healthy network, so opportunity can find you.

The key to effective networking in the twenty-first century is to diversify. It’s not enough to do the same old thing, to stick to your chosen field and the players in it. Today, you have to branch out and diversify to other people, in other fields and in other ways. Here’s how.

Get Connected
We live in a hyper-connected world, and in order to network effectively you have to be a part of that world. The good news is that networking electronically is easy, popular and effective. You can get and stay connected via any number of technological means: LinkedIn, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, blogs, and any number of other electronic and on-line forums and associations.

If you are flummoxed by these new technologies or sites, have someone show you how to access and use them. It’s actually very simple. Once on them, you need to maintain them and respond to people in a timely fashion. Don’t be embarrassed if this way of doing things is unfamiliar and strange to you. Get over it and get on board; everyone is doing it and so should you.

And you can’t afford not to. The reach of these sites and technologies is simply amazing. Facebook, for example, has 250 million users, and the fastest growing demographic on that site is over 35 years old. LinkedIn, a professional rather than social site, has 25 million users, of whom 31 percent are over the age of 45. Demographically, on-line networking sites are not just for the young. Everyone is on them. You should too, and it’s as easy as a mouse click.

Freshen Up
The thing about networks is that most people don’t use them until they need them. This is a mistake. You should always be networking and you should always be tending to your network. Whether you have been actively networking or not, now is a good time to freshen up or even get started. Reconnect with people. Have coffee, have lunch or breakfast. Go to events. Join associations and clubs. Attend seminars and industry events. Find colleagues, new and old, through appropriate Internet sites. Connect, connect, connect.

The point is to freshen up your old contacts and network by reconnecting with them, and then start fresh with new networks. You need to build relationships before you need them, so take the time and energy to do it right. The best time to develop a network is when you don’t need it. So get busy.

Be Real
The obvious reason to have a network is to use it to stay informed, engaged and plugged in. It’s also the best way to find opportunities. But the key to being an effective networker is not to appear desperate, needy or on the make. Don’t be smarmy and obvious about your intentions. The point of networking is to build bonds with people who you like, who share interests and who, of course, can help you. But if you appear insincere, phony or too ambitious, it will backfire. Be real.

By the same token, it is important to remember that these are business relationships. Yes, you want to build on common interests and yes you want to establish relationships with people you like, but remember that this is a different situation than building friendships. Women, very often fall into this trap, which is odd, given that women are naturally more social creatures than men.
But very often women focus on the personal rather than on business. For example, women are naturally inclined to become friends, and often resort to cute shoes, love the bag, sort of things rather than on business.

Women are at another disadvantage when it comes to networking, for the reason that they don’t do it often enough. Networking requires going out for drinks after work, or having breakfasts or the like. But because women have more demands on their time with family obligations they don’t network the way they should. This is a mistake, and women need to make more of an effort to get out there and do what they have to to establish and nurture their network. Start small. Commit yourself to a networking event or opportunity once every other week, building to a networking event at least once a week.

Diversify your network
The final imperative to the new rules of networking is to diversify your network. You have to look beyond your specific field, your current colleagues and your current industry. Think this way: What are my transferable skills? What are my interests? Then, look into those fields and start networking there.

Don’t get stuck in one field or one industry. In order to diversify you have to really think about where you can use your skills. Break out of your industry and your employment comfort zone, so you can broaden your base of opportunity.

Second, you also have to diversify the people with whom you network. It’s not your father’s business world anymore. Chances are your peer group doesn’t look the way it did 20 years ago. Today’s market moves so fast that your network has to include those above and below you, those younger and older than you, those with different skin color and sexual orientation. Younger generations are often forgotten when older people network. But remember, the people in Gen Y and Gen X and even younger will be decision makers, managers and leaders before you know it. Your network must include them, no matter where they are now. Your network has to be multi-generational, multi-cultural, and multi-industrial. That is the best way to bullet proof your career.

You can watch Mary discuss this topic on tv: http://careerstonegroup.com/media.html

The Importance of Taking A Vacation

2009-09-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Taking A Break Pays Off!

By Mary Abbajay

As great as a week (or two) at the beach sounds, would you believe that one-third of working Americans will not use all of their allotted vacation time this year? And if they do, half of the time they take their work with them. Sure, the economy is rough and many of us are holding on to our jobs for dear life, but come on. Take that vacation already. Here’s why.

The American Way

What is it about Americans? About 40 percent of American workers don’t take any vacation at all. Twenty-five percent of American workers don’t even get vacation time. In the industrialized world, Americans rank last in terms of vacation. We average two weeks a year while Europeans average six.

While the current economic situation may affect how and where people vacation, it is probably having a residual effect of the simple act (and paid perk) of taking a vacation. People may actually be afraid to take their vacation time for fear it will make them look less dedicated, or give someone else an opportunity in their place, or are simply afraid to leave their company for any reason, be it self importance or inertia.

But the fact of the matter is that taking a vacation is a proven way to reduce stress and rejuvenate yourself. You may be afraid to do it, but you will be much better off for it.

The Benefits of a Vacation

Imbibing fruity drinks is not only the only benefit to a vacation. Studies show again and again that vacations reduce stress, promote creativity, stave off burnout, strengthen personal and familial relationships and help job performance. Vacations de-stress and re-charge. Seriously, vacations are an absolute physical and emotional necessity. We are healthier for it, by sleeping more, eating better, maybe even exercising a bit. We get away from work, and that is a good thing.

Every management guru (and good boss) knows that taking frequent breaks from work promotes better brain activity and creative thinking. When someone is exhausted or stressed, their mind shuts down to the point where they are no longer productive or effective. So you have to occasionally get away from work to be the most productive at work. Most high-tech companies have this figured out, which is why they feature lavish and funky break rooms with baristas, couches, scooters, massage therapists, video games and the like to help their employees disconnect and recharge.

The yearly two-week vacation is the equivalent to the fifteen-minute break in the workday; it is an essential component to one’s mental and physical health, and the hallmark of a productive person. What are you waiting for?

Making the Most of It

Now that you are convinced of the imperative of taking a vacation, it is essential to remember that not all vacations are created equal. What’s great for one person may be a nightmare for another. And some vacations may actually cause more stress and make you worse off. Like to lie around and do nothing? Then that ambitious trek through all the cathedrals of Northern Europe may not be the trip for you. Conversely, if you are a type A who loves to go go go, then two weeks on a remote beach may make you crazy. The vacation you take should match not just your interest but your energy level as well.

By the same token, what you take on vacation is important, too. By that I mean try not to take your work with you. Why are you taking your Blackberry and laptop with you? Unless you are running your own business, where your absence will be detrimental, you are not getting paid to respond to emails and voicemails. So leave the work gadgets behind. However, for some people, just knowing that they can stay connected might help them alleviate the anxiety of even taking a vacation. In that case, by all means, take them with you. Remember: the point of a vacation is not necessarily to do nothing. The point is to disconnect and disengage yourself from your work.

If you are a business owner put someone in charge. If you have to take your gadgets with you, try to use them for monitoring and updates, rather than running the show. Try to observe, rather than involve yourself.

It’s also important to know yourself well enough to know what length of vacation will work best for you. Some people like to take one big one, while others like to take lots of four-day weekends. It’s all about you and how quickly you can disconnect from work. Several short vacations throughout the year can be as beneficial as one good long one. Whatever recharges your batteries best is what you should do.

And you should take the time to lay the groundwork for your vacation. A few weeks before your vacation (after you’ve cleared it with your boss), inform your colleagues, clients and anyone else who may be impacted by your absence when and how long you will be gone. Make sure those who need to know, know. Make a list of all your current projects and their status. Ensure that your back up is clear about where to find all information. Make sure you put an away message on your email, phone, and cell phone, and be clear about your time frame. And be sure to include a contact person for your absence. Make sure your office knows under what circumstances you should be reached. And finally, you have to trust your colleagues to manage things while you are gone. It’ll be OK. Honestly.

Getting Back to Work

The hardest part about taking a vacation is coming back and returning to hundreds of papers, emails and voicemails. But you don’t have to face Monday morning with dread.

First of all, try to return a full day ahead of your scheduled return to work so that you can catch up at home. If I am going to be on vacation and return to work on a Monday, I try to get home by Saturday so that I have all day Sunday to get my house in order – unpack, check and answer messages, do laundry, sort through the mail, grocery shop, etc. That way, when I return to work, at least my home front is back in order.

On Monday, start early. Try to arrive before others so that you can get a jump on things without being distracted. Turn off your vacation responders or change your messages. Then, start with e-mails. Go through them quickly, deleting junk and prioritizing the rest. Ditto the mail and your messages. Then, schedule an appointment with your boss or assistant for later in the morning to bring you up to date quickly. And instead of having a half dozen conversations with colleagues about your trip, try to get everyone together at once over coffee or lunch. Don’t let being away suck you into a stressful, overworked situation from the get-go. Just prioritize and stay focused. And remember to take a break.

You can watch Mary discuss on TV:

You can hear Mary discuss this topic on the radio. Click on The Working Life audio: http://www.wmzq.com/pages/wafaudio.html

Mary Abbajay is a partner in the Careerstone Group, a full service organizational and leadership development consultancy that specializes in creating effective, productive and positive workplaces where high-engagement meets high performance. She can be reached at mary@careerstonegroup.com

Managers Help Employees Cope

2009-06-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

This week in the Washington Business Journal, Jennifer Nycz-Conner writes about how managers can help employees cope with the extra workload created by lay-offs and hiring freezes. I was honored to be included in crafting advice for managers.

You can read the full article here: http://bit.ly/EgsKS

The Partnership Paradox: How to Choose a Business Partner

2009-05-31T13:37:00.000-07:00

The Partnership Paradox
How to Choose a Partner and Manage the Partnership

Starting your own business is an enormous undertaking. The to-do list seems endless, as does the number of decisions you must make. One of the most critical, strategic decisions you will make is whether to take a partner. This is one of the earliest and most important decisions entrepreneurs face. This choice will have a lasting impact on not only the success of the business, but on your emotional health as well.

Horror stories abound about the partner from hell and about partnerships gone wrong. Deciding whether to take a partner and choosing the right one is a strategic imperative, and if given proper focus and consideration, you can make the right choice, one that can have a profoundly beneficial impact on your business.

Do You Need a Partner?

The first thing to do is assess your situation and decide if you need a partner. Statistically speaking, businesses started by partners do better than businesses started by individuals, but that doesn’t mean your situation warrants or will be benefitted by a partnership.
Sometimes going it alone is the right course of action

There are many benefits to going it alone. First, it certainly is simpler. As president and chief executive, you'd have the authority to make crucial decisions and shape the future of your company without having to reach agreement with another individual or a group. Of course, this can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on whether you work better as a consensus builder or as a maverick. If you're a sole proprietor you can brainstorm with employees and advisers, but ultimately company decisions and responsibilities will rest on your shoulders.

Second, without a partner, you will own it all. You won’t have to share the business's wealth, rewards or achievements. You will have complete control and complete recognition. Third, you won’t have any emotional ties with anyone and no conflicts or issues (personal or professional) to resolve with a partner. If you have the resources, the experience and the wherewithal, you should seriously consider going it alone.

On the other hand, there are many benefits to forming a partnership, including sharing the financial burden, the responsibilities and work load; benefitting from your partner’s experience, skill set and network; and added capital contributions. With a partner, you share the risk and the rewards, the breaks and the burden.

A partner can also provide valuable psychological, motivational and emotional support during tough business times. You can help each other out, lean on each other and work together to reach a shared goal. Two heads can be better than one.

So, the first step is to get clear on whether you need a partner or not. To do this, ask yourself these questions to assess your situation. Be honest -- there’s a lot at stake:

What are my goals?
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
What are my skill sets?
What skills or experience do I need for this business to succeed?
What are my financial resources?
What do I need to reach my goal, and where/how will I get it?

A critical assessment of what you have, what you need and where you want to go will determine if you can go it alone, if you need to take a partner and what you need to look for in a partner. If all you need is money, find investors or get a loan. If all you need is marketing or web or graphics capabilities, look for a good hire. But if you determine that you can reach your goal best with a partner, go for it.

It’s Like a Marriage, Only with a Bottom Line

In many ways, a business partnership is like a marriage. As with a spouse, you and your business partner are throwing your lots together and working toward a common goal. The qualities of a good marriage are virtually identical to those in a good, productive business partnership. You will likely get out what you put in. A good partnership requires:

A shared vision and goal
Mutual hard work
Open communication
Mutual respect
A balance of power
Effective conflict resolution

Like a marriage, a business partnership is not a decision to take lightly. There is a lot at stake here – money, time, effort, emotions. In addition, you’ll be spending many of your waking hours working with this person, so you’ll have to develop an effective working relationship. Choose well.

The Pitfalls

People make the same mistakes over and over again when choosing a business partner. We choose people either too much like ourselves or we choose people who are so different than ourselves that we are in constant conflict. Oftentimes two people who are technically brilliant start a business but neither has a head for numbers, a knack for rainmaking or any idea how to run a company.

People also rush the decision, which can be catastrophic for your mental and financial health. But perhaps the biggest mistake is not in the choice of partner but in how the partnership is structured and managed. Many partnerships do not get started on the proper, structured footing, with all the roles ad responsibilities spelled out. This is a critical. Partners should agree on the vision and the goal and should know who is doing what, the chain of command, etc. From the beginning.

And now a word about partnering with friends and family. This is rife with danger. Walk this line very, very carefully. Whoever coined the phrase, “It’s not personal, it’s business,” never had a business partner. With partners, it’s almost always personal on some level and at some point in the relationship. And if your partner is a friend or family member, it’s personal from the get-go.

Family and friendship dynamics will always seep in. If and when
something goes awry in the business (and it will), it will affect your relationship. And if something goes wrong in your family or friendship, it will affect your business (and your employees). There is very often little or no separation between family and friendships and the business.

While friends and family are often likely and good candidates for business partners, be aware of and consider the many pitfalls. If your partner is your brother or best friend, it is extremely difficult to keep personal issues out of the business, and business issues out of the personal. This is not to say that it can’t be done, but it is to say that you should be very wary of this approach.

I have seen this work brilliantly and I have seen it end very badly. Personally, I’ve been business partners with family members and friends several times, with varying degrees of success. I lost a very dear friend, who was a business partner at the time, over a business disagreement. On the other hand, I had an immensely fruitful and successful business relationship with my sister for 15 years. What was the difference? Well, I always said it worked because my sister and I had a lifetime of experience fighting and making up! But I think crystal clear goals, expectations and responsibilities helped make our partnership a success. Just be careful.

The How’s of Choosing a Partner

The next step is to choose your partner. In the first section, you determined your goals, analyzed your strengths and weaknesses and determined what you need to reach your goal. Now it’s time to choose a partner. Start by reviewing the answers to the questions you asked in the first section, the ones that assessed your strengths, weaknesses and goals. Now, think about what you need and draw up a set of criteria that you're looking for. You will use these criteria to judge potential partners later. The criteria must include a person’s:

Skills
Experience
Network
Financial investment potential or stability
Personality
Relationship needs

Ask yourself:

Is there someone who can help me reach my goals?
What are his or her strengths and weaknesses?
What does/doesn’t he/she bring to the table?
Do we have the same value system?
What is his/her work ethic?
Will she/he complement, duplicate or hinder me?

Think about the criteria and the questions carefully. The goal is to choose a partner who complements your skills, not duplicates them. For example, if you are terrible at sales, then you should focus on someone for whom sales is a strong suit.

Think about the personality traits you can and can't work with
This requires you being really honest about who you are and what you bring to the table. Are you a control freak? If so, be honest about it and pick someone who isn’t a control freak! Two control freaks may not work well together. Similarly, are you a big picture/pie-in-the-sky type? Then you might want to pick somebody more detail-oriented and grounded. Are you a fast decision maker or do you like to think, think, think? Picking someone who is a slow decision maker might be a good thing or it might drive you crazy.

Also, what kind of relationship or psychological support do you need in the relationship? Do you want someone who is warm and nurturing? Do you want someone who is all business? Determine what type of person you want to work with and go from there.

Most importantly, pick someone who is as excited and as driven as you are to make this business idea a success. And pick someone whose work ethic matches your own. Find out early on whether your partner thinks a six-day workweek is to short or likes to punch out on Thursday and breeze back in on Monday.

Who NOT to Pick

Just as there are many qualities to look for in a partner, there are some obvious and not so obvious red flags, too.

First and foremost look at the person’s finances. You may not need a partner who brings any investment to the table, but you do not want to choose someone who is financially unstable. This is harsh but true: financial troubles often indicate a person who lacks discretion, self-control and good judgment. Running a business requires careful and sound financial decision making, and someone who has shown a lack of this in their personal life may not be the best choice for a business partner. Your partner doesn’t have to be a millionaire or possess MBA-type skills, but he or she does have to be financially mature and responsible. Furthermore, it may be some time before your new venture makes money, and if your partner comes into it desperate, it won’t be a good working relationship.

Second, pick someone who is mature and stable. Avoid people who are flaky or skittish or who have a history of flakiness. How can you tell? Well, have they had problems committing to other jobs or projects? Do they have a good reputation or a bad one? Can they commit and stick to your new venture?

Along those same lines, pick someone for whom drama is something they watch on TV, not a mantra for their personal lives. We all know people who thrive on drama. They should not be your partner. Also avoid people with a lot of personal baggage. Starting and running a business requires 100 percent of your attention. If someone is a drama king or queen, or who is distracted by their personal life, they will detract from your success. Avoid choosing them.

How about a maverick? Well, mavericks tend to be confident, self assured and energetic. But mavericks can also be a problem. They often shoot from the hip, don’t think things through and, by their very nature, are not good collaborators (that’s why they are mavericks). Tread lightly. I personally would never choose a maverick as a business partner.

Other red flags to seriously consider include if the person doesn’t listen well; doesn’t have strong emotional intelligence; has poor morals or ethical standards; doesn’t play well with others; doesn’t have a strong network or networking skills; has legal or emotional problems; is boastful or otherwise full of himself. These and any quality that rubs you the wrong way are all red flags. Pay attention to them because the problems that nag at the back of your mind now will be magnified 100 fold when that person becomes your partner.

Put a Ring on It

Or, in this case, legalize it. You’ve found a business partner you know and respect and you want to start a business together. Great. Now put everything in writing. Don’t be complacent or lulled into thinking that nothing could go wrong, that a handshake and mutual respect will be enough for your partnership. This is business; you need legal documents that spell everything out and that protect you and your partner from each other and the vagaries of business.

Luckily, none of these documents is rare or unusual. They are standard documents that can be procured on-line and customized or may be drafted for a nominal fee from any corporate lawyer.

First and foremost, you need a partnership agreement. This is a document that spells out the partnership and includes everything from how you’ll raise money to how you’ll divide responsibilities. It usually includes a buy-sell agreement, which spells out who can sell what and to whom, if one partner is given first right of refusal for the other’s shares. Etc. The agreement also often includes a non-compete agreement in case one partner leaves. Partnership agreements can and should also spell out bonuses, benefits, perqs, sick-time, continuing education, profit taking, what happens if a partner dies, voting rights, shares and sweat equity, etc.

There are many, many things to think about and as much of it as possible should be spelled out in your partnership agreement. You need to put it in writing. Discussing it and agreeing to terms is not enough; your agreement and partnership must be formalized in a legal document. I cannot stress this enough. Don’t skip this because you are friends or afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. This is business. Put it in writing. You must try to consider everything – especially the worst-case scenario – and cover it. It is money well spent to hire an experienced corporate attorney to draft an agreement for you.

Remember, a partnership can be the foundation of your business or it can be your complete undoing. But if you assess strategically, choose wisely, and manage effectively, your partnership can be the cornerstone of your business, and of your success.

You can hear Mary discuss this topic on the radio: http://www.wmzq.com/pages/wafaudio.html

You can watch Mary discuss this topic on tv: http://careerstonegroup.com/media.html

How to Simplify Your Work Life

2009-05-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

Simplifying Your Work Life

Today’s workplace can feel like a constant assault on the senses. Think of all the tasks confronting you during a typical workday: emails, texts, phone calls, messages, answering questions from team members barging into your workspace, and so on. And that's before you even begin to tackle actual work. It’s enough to make your head spin. But you can master your work life, your workload and your work environment with a few simple strategies.

The Blackberry Jungle

For many reasons, today’s workers are far more stressed than ever before. Long commutes, more work, longer hours and new technologies all conspire to make us stressed and overwhelmed. Despite promises to the contrary, modern technology has actually increased the amount of work we have and do, and it reaches us 24-7. Think about how much more is done electronically, and how many more interactions you have on a daily basis because of technology. Blackberries (or the equivalent) at the ready, we are all barraged with a constant stream of texts, tweets, e-mails and messages. It’s more work, it’s more immediate and it never ends.

Six months ago, everyone talked about how to achieve “work-life balance.” But today, with a faltering economy and unemployment nearing 10 percent, it is increasingly hard to talk about work-life balance when there are millions of people who would give their right arm to have a job and the problem of balancing their work and their lives.

But that doesn’t change the fact that workers are still stressed and overwhelmed at work. Many people are overloaded by technology and by the environment in which they work. And it is causing an unhealthy imbalance in the working lives of many, both on the job and off. You do need to simplify your working life, not just to find balance, but also to do a better job. You may need to simply your working life if:

You feel completely stressed at work
You feel overwhelmed with too much on your plate
Your productivity is decreasing due to an inability to handle your projects
No matter how many hours you put in, you don’t seem to get out from under your pile of projects
You find yourself spending too much time on things that just aren’t priorities

But there are simple ways to simplify. Here’s how.

First, create space. Studies show that your physical environment has enormous impact on your wellbeing, productivity and intellectual abilities. Your workspace should work for you, not against, and this is why this is a perfect place to start. The very first thing to do is to simply your work environment. Think of it as spring cleaning – get rid of the clutter, organize your workspace and jettison things that are distracting you. Not only will simplifying your workspace help you become more productive, it will also provide a powerful psychological support system for keeping your work life simplified. Very often, clutter begets clutter, in your organizational skills and in your thinking. So, by clearing out the clutter, you will be less distracted and more focused. This is a good place to start, in large measure because you will see results immediately.

The key to simplifying your workspace is to streamline, edit and minimize. Your workspace should be as minimal and efficient as possible. It should have few distractions and no clutter. Look around your workspace:

How many things are on your desk?
How many things are on the walls of your office or cubicle?
How cluttered is your computer desktop?
Are there piles of things on your desk or your floor?

If you have a lot of clutter, chances are it is creating or contributing to inefficiencies and distractions in your work life. The key is to create a clutter-free distraction-free, stress-free and productive workspace. First, organize your computer desktop. Move things off that do not need your attention. Too many files on your desktop are visually confusing and a sign of poor organization. Only keep on your computer desktop the files you are using that day or need the most. Move the rest off. And organize them while you’re at it.

Next edit your walls and the surface of your desk. Does all that stuff really need to be there? Yes, you want a few personal and inspirational items, but you only need a few. Pick two and get rid of the rest. What papers or files are on your desk? Decide what you need and file the rest away. They will be close at hand if you need them, but they don’t need to be on your desk, do they? Also, organize your tools. Do you really need a stapler, tape and paper clips on your desk? Put them in a drawer. Move as much as you can off your desk. Keep only the things you absolutely need in front of you, and a personal item or two. That’s it. Put the rest away.

Now, Prioritize Your Work

Once you have streamlined your work environment, you can get back to work. And you must start by prioritizing your workload. Setting priorities is absolutely essential when you have too much on your plate. Look at all your projects and determine the method of prioritization. If you are self-employed, use whatever system aligns with your business. For example, most of my work is based on a deliverable – facilitating a conference, a meeting or a workshop; delivering a keynote address; etc. So due dates are my big thing, and I prioritize my workload based on due date of the deliverable and the amount of time each project will take. Many projects have more immediate dates, but don’t require much work, so my priority list isn’t always in order of due date. I also reevaluate the list often.

If you work in an organization, your supervisor or manager should direct or help you prioritize your workload. You should meet with them to go over your projects and find out what the company or department’s priorities are. When a new project is assigned you should bring up existing projects, go over your workload and reevaluate all of your priories. You should always, always have a clear understanding of this, and you must work with your manager to stay clear on your priorities. People who are afraid to have this conversation with their supervisors are not going to be able to simplify their work life.

And it’s a simple conversation, not a complaint that you can’t get something done or a demand that they give you less work. What you are doing is asking for clarity. Make a list of your projects or workload, go in to see your supervisor and simply say, “I have a lot of going on right now and I would like to go over everything with you so that I am sure I have my projects prioritized properly to meet your expectations.”

You also need to fully understand the project in order to understand the amount of time it will take to deliver. You cannot accurately and effectively prioritize unless you have a clear idea of how long the project will take. As a consultant, I see many people who complain that they are unclear about priorities but, in fact, the real problem is that they failed to correctly assess the amount of time required to complete a project or the importance of the project, and then they are in a constant state of crisis. Make sure you understand the project, how long it will take and then and make sure you understand where it falls on your manager’s priority list.

The Technology Trap

If technology is supposed to make our lives so much simpler, how come we are all working more? And how come we are plugged in all the time? Well, you don’t have to be. Like the clutter on your desk, you have to be judicious about the type of technology you use and how and when you use it. You can simplify here, too.

The first thing to do is take a good hard look at the different technologies you utilize to complete your work. Now, ask yourself this simple question: does this make my work life easier or more difficult? Does it save me time or does it take longer? Which technologies make your work life simpler, more efficient and more effective and which ones actually make it harder or take up too much of your time unnecessarily? For example, is your new PDA really making your life simpler or is it adding a new level of unnecessary complexity? Ask yourself, do I really need to text, e-mail or call John in accounting? Can I walk down the hall and ask him the question? Do I need to start what could be an endless and unnecessary stream of electronic messages when I could have my answer in a minute with a little physical effort or a phone call?

There is a mini backlash going on right now, where people are forgoing fancy tech gadgets for old-fashioned methods – like getting up from their desks and meeting people face to face, keeping day timers, using Rolodexes and index cards, keeping to do lists on notepads, using the telephone, etc. The problem with technology is that you fall into a trap of relying on it for things that may be better and more efficiently handled the old-fashioned way. Decide what actually works for you, and use it. Lose the rest.

Personal Strategies

In terms of your physical work habits, the most important way to begin to simplify your work life is to be realistic about what you can accomplish, both in terms of time and skills. You must know what is important and what isn’t. Then, focus on what is important and let go of the rest.

You also need to learn to say no. If you are completely swamped, say so. Perhaps you can renegotiate the projects you already have or get someone to help with your workload. Just don’t be afraid to say no, whether it’s at work or at home. Be wary about making promises. It is easier and far better to say no at the beginning than to get out of an agreement later.

When you do have a project, seek clarity on assignments and expectations. Find out exactly what they expect from you and what will satisfy their requirements. These are called the conditions of satisfaction, and you should understand them from the beginning.

If you are working with others on a project, you have to determine who is the point person, and if no one wants to take charge, think about stepping up to the plate. Everyone should be on the same page, in terms of what the project is, what the conditions of satisfaction are, who is doing what and when, and when the project is due. Make sure you and others on the team are crystal clear about timelines, expectations, and the criteria for success and completion. In order to succeed and work effectively, you have to be able to communicate properly with each other. And if you have a problem with a member of the team, don’t go over their head. First, talk to them about what you see as the problem.

By simplifying your work life with these strategies, you can be far more productive and much less stressed at work. Start small – maybe start by cleaning off your desk and organizing your computer desktop. Then build to a point where you can prioritize your projects and work on them with focus and clarity. Minimize distractions – physical, visual, technological. By simplifying your work life, you will increase your productivity. And your sanity.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://wmzq.com/pages/WMZQPSAs.html

Successful Summer Intern Programs!

2008-10-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Making Your Intern Program Work for You

For many businesses, summer means a swarm of seasonal student interns. These youngsters bring energy, cheap labor and knowledge about the latest technologies into the workplace. Managing short-term, college-age workers can pose a unique set of challenges, though. With some effort, you can ensure that your company’s intern program is valuable, effective and worthwhile, for everyone.

The Typical Internship

Almost every type of organization uses internships, from small businesses to large government agencies. Interns are usually college or university students, but they can also be high school students or post graduate adults seeking skills for a new career. Internships are popular and desirable, for both the intern and the employer.

For the intern, it is an opportunity to gain experience in the field, determine if they have an interest in a particular career, create a network of contacts, or gain school credit. For the employer, internships provide cheap or free labor for (typically) low-level tasks and also the prospect of interns returning to the company after completing their education and requiring little or no training. It’s a great way to get quality work while at the same time developing a pipeline of future talent. It’s a win-win for both intern and employer.

Internships can be paid or unpaid. Paid internships are most common in the medical, science, engineering, law, business, accounting, finance, technology and advertising fields. Internships in not-for-profit organizations such as charities and think tanks are often unpaid positions. Internships may be part-time or full-time. Typically they are part-time during the school year and full-time in the summer.

What Makes a Great Program
The intern program is an incredibly valuable and important business tool. A great internship program covers four elements:

Element 1: Clear goals and purposes
Element 2: Structure and strategies to meet those goals
Element 3: Management support and buy-in
Element 4: The experience of the interns

In order to establish and maintain a successful program, those four elements must be assessed regularly. Your program is expensive in terms of time and dollars, so regular evaluation needs to be part of the strategy.

When evaluating an internship program you need to focus on how well you are delivering on the four major elements. This is crucial. Here are the questions you have to ask and answer for each element:

Element 1: Clear goals and purposes: Determine what you want to get out of the program. What are the goals and purposes? What do we want to get out of it? Is it recruiting and training new talent? Hiring cheap summer help? Marketing our company?

Element 2: Structure and strategies to meet those goals: How are we meeting these goals? How and where are we recruiting? How are we onboarding, evaluating and tracking the program?

Element 3: Management support and buy-in: Are the right people involved? Are the managers of the interns on board with the program? Do they understand the goals? Do they have the proper training and resources to create valuable experiences for both the organization and the interns?

Element 4: The experience of the interns: Are we providing the interns with a valuable experience for them and for company? Did we meet their expectations? Did they have the experience that we promised in our recruiting? Would they recommend our organization to other interns or prospective employees? Remember, your interns are not just free workers or potential employees; they will also be broadcasting their opinions about your organization. So make sure they say the right things.

How to Develop a Great Intern Program
For the company, the most important thing is to get really clear about the purpose and goals of your internship program. You have to know what you want to get out of it before you go any further. Start with your objectives and go from there.

No matter what you decide you want to get out of it, you have to work hard to create a positive experience for the intern. Great internship programs mean spending some time to really make sure your goals are in alignment with your intern’s goals.

Today’s youth are much more interested in doing real work than fetching coffee. Make sure you provide your intern with challenging and “real” work as much as possible.

I’ve worked with some companies that have developed dynamic and innovative intern programs. Here are some ideas that work for them:

Create a meaningful onboarding strategy for your interns. This means bringing them together for an interactive orientation and onboarding. This will help set the tone and create a sense of team among your interns.
Consider integrating professional development workshops and trainings. Bring your interns into sessions with higher ups. This helps integrate them and make them feel connected.
Involve managers and senior leaders as much as possible. Use a cohort approach, sponsor meet and greets or other events to provide interns with an opportunity to network.
Provide interns with a meaty project, something they can work on above and beyond their day-to-day tasks. This really gives them a sense of worth, accomplishment and enhances the idea that they are part of the company.
Do a proper close out with them. Find out what they liked and didn’t like, what they would do differently, what worked and what didn’t.

Avoiding the Pitfalls
Great intern programs all have one thing in common: the organization takes it seriously. Great programs require a great deal of work, thought and follow through. Many organizations just kind of slap them together, but this is a mistake. Here are common mistakes companies make and how to avoid them:

Mistake 1: Not ensuring your managers are truly in alignment with the intern program goals. It is often challenging for managers to take on the additional responsibilities of an intern, but the people managing the interns are key elements in your program’s success.
Make sure you choose the right people to work with the interns and make sure you have trained them properly and that they are on board with the program’s goals.

Mistake 2: Not providing meaningful work or professional development for your interns.
Young adults want to gain experience. This is not about simply fetching coffee; it’s about introducing them to the workplace in general and your company in particular. They want to feel they have made a meaningful contribution, so give them something real to do.

Mistake 3: All flash no fire. This is when organizations that want to use their intern program as a recruitment tool spend the summer wining, dining and schmoozing their interns instead of actually trying to see if they would be a good “match” for the organization. Law Firms are really notorious for this. They throw boatloads of money at the summer law associates trying to lure them. Sounds great, but they aren’t really getting much for their money—research shows that there isn’t much correlation between the money spent and the retention it inspires, and lots of firms are re-thinking this practice. Find a way to make the internship meaningful to both parties.

Evaluating the Program
Effectively evaluating your program is crucial to its success. Here are the right ways to evaluate:

Hold meetings with the frontline folks who managed and worked with the interns. Do an “After Action Review” and ask: What were the interns' skill levels like? What work did you give them? How could you have utilized them more? What suggestions do you have for next year’s program?
Do exit interviews with the interns. Hire an outsider to do this, so they feel comfortable giving honest feedback. If that isn’t feasible, offer an online or anonymous survey. Getting honest feedback is crucial.
Keep track. You need to track quantifiable results from your program. This means you have to follow up with the participants and track returning intern ratio, referrals from interns and other quantifiable data.

The hallmarks of a great intern program are establishing clearly defined goals, providing proper supervision and meaningful work and then following up.

If You Are the Intern
Internships are a great way to test the waters of a particular field or company. Internships are also a great way to network and make contacts in your field. Plus, internship experience is great resume fodder. More and more organizations consider internships an integral part of career development, sometimes even more so than other summer jobs.

If you are entering an internship, here are some tips to make it worthwhile:

Take your internship seriously—even if your employer doesn’t.
Think of your internship as a 12-week interview.
Be clear about your personal and professional goals for the internship.
Find out about the company’s goals and find ways to meet them.
Request meaningful work. Volunteer to work on big projects.
Make connections. Network and socialize with colleagues and other interns. Take the time to really get to know a wide assortment of colleagues.
Show appreciation. Write thank you notes and send emails.
Stay in touch! Follow up with the company.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://wmzq.com/pages/WMZQPSAs.html

Laid Off? Now What?

2008-10-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: What To Do If You’ve Been laid Off

It happens to thousands of people every day. You get laid off from your job. For many, it’s a terrifying situation, but with a little work, not only can you handle it, you can find a way to move forward.

First of all, it’s important to remember that getting laid off is not the same thing as getting fired. When you get fired, it basically means that didn’t perform the job you were hired to do to the satisfaction of your employer. Getting fired is usually due to performance issues, breaking company regulations and policies or the inability to work effectively within the organization.

Getting laid off, on the other hand, usually means that your employer had to reduce its workforce. This is generally due to economic hardship or restructuring, and you or your position were part of the trimming of the proverbial fat.

While the reasons and intentions behind a firing or a lay off are different, the impact is often the same. You are out in the cold with no job and it feels terrible.

Prepare Yourself
In today’s climate, it is best, as the Boy Scouts know, to be prepared. Rarely does a lay off or a firing come out of the blue. The minute you start hearing rumors or seeing the signs you should start to prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario. Here’s what to do to prepare yourself:

Review your salary and benefits package so you have accurate information of what you can negotiate with HR. The more prepared you are the better off you will be to negotiate an optimal severance package.
Make a list of things to discuss with HR, including benefits severance, help with future employment, training, etc.
Update your resume. This is critical and should be done while still employed. It is much easier to create a positive resume when you are coming from a place of success rather than a place of despair. Do it while you still have a job.
Reconsider any upcoming large expenditures, like trips or other purchases. Now is not the time to buy a new car or go to Paris.
Make sure you have 3 to 6 months of liquid living expenses.
Update your Rolodex or PDA with contacts you may need and start to network immediately. Copy your e-mail address book, phone numbers etc. You may not be able to later.
Gather or copy any awards, accommodations, citations, letters of recommendation, etc. from your workplace that you will need.

The general idea is to reduce as many hurdles as possible to transitioning out of your current job and into another one. You may not have a lot of time or a lot of notice to clear out, so you need to be ready. And with a resume, it is a lot easier to make a minor revision than a major overhaul. So keep your resume updated just to be on the safe side.

The HR meeting
While all the tips above are critical steps, you need to be especially prepared for your meeting with HR. It may come very quickly, with little or no notice. One day you are gainfully employed and the next you are out of a job and sitting in front of your company’s HR person who is handing you a check and telling you your computer access has been cut off. So you need to have your wits about you.

Even though you are being laid off, you can still negotiate. And depending on your position, you may have a lot of things to negotiate. Think of this as a business transaction. There are lots of things to discuss, and this is where being prepared can really help. You will or may need to discuss:

A severance package
Vacation time, comp time and sick time buy out
401 Ks, stock options and other financial compensation tools
Your expense accounts
Health insurance – how long will the company pay? What is your share?
Other benefits like company cars, club memberships, education and other perqs
Transition services like training, employment counseling, relocation, etc.
Reference policy and reference letters
Copies of awards, commendations, etc.

Before you are shown the door, you need to have your head about you to be able to discuss these and possibly other things with your former employer. And the more prepared you are the better your outcome.

Leaving nicely
Though you may be sorely tempted, now is not the time to tell management what you “really” think about them. I’m not saying you need to empathize with the company that is letting you go, but it is important to remember that it probably was a tough decision for your boss or the organization. No one relishes cutbacks.

You want to leave on the best possible terms for two reasons. First, your next employer may call them for a reference. Second, many companies rehire laid off employees when their economic situation improves. Don’t burn any bridges. Leave nicely.

Wallow, Then Get Going
OK, so you’ve lost the job and now you are at a loss. This is serious. Getting laid off is a major life change that delivers a psychological blow. It rapidly forces people into an unexpected and many times undesirable change, one that is surrounded by a sense of fear, anger, and ambiguity. It’s a hard thing to handle, and it is imperative that you take some time to adjust to this jarring turn of events. My advice is to take a few days to a week to wallow, feel sorry for yourself and decompress. This is the time for the sweat pants, Oreos and daytime TV.

Then, after a few days, that’s it. No more wallowing. Get up, dust yourself off, get dressed and accept that your new job is to find a job.

The first thing to do is to find out if and when you are eligible to file for unemployment. Check with your local unemployment agency. Programs vary from state to sate, but they generally run between 14 and 21 weeks. There is also a 13-week federal extension program that is worth exploring.

What you don’t want to do is dip into your 401ks or other retirement accounts. Every working person should have 3 to 6 months of living expenses salted away for a rainy day. This may be it. In your meeting with HR, you should have determined your severance package and benefits, like health insurance, so you should have a good idea of what your income and expenses should be in the near term. Sit down and budget your expenses. Now is a good time to cut back where you can.

Next, start networking. Get out there and let people know that you are on the market. Get that resume circulating and start lighting up the phones. Call friends and colleagues. Troll for information. Work your network. Keep in touch with your former HR person and stay updated.
For many people, however, being laid off is a great time to re-evaluate your professional goals and interests. For some, this is the opportunity to make that career change they have longed for. You can use your lay off to make changes in your career development. If you can afford to, take a class, learn a new skill, explore other fields. Take a temp job or internship in that field. That’s a great way to start exploring a new field, start a new network, gain new skills and meet potential employers.

If you don’t want to change careers or fields, temp work is still a great way to get your foot in the door of another company. You can earn money while networking, staying professionally sharp and meeting potential employers.

Many others, however, have been in the same field for 20 or more years. For them, getting laid off is truly terrifying. They may not have the new skill sets to find new jobs. For this group, you will need to find a recent college grad, maybe your son/daughter/niece/nephew, to show you some tips. Don’t let the new fangled Internet distract you from the core competencies of job searching, which are always a stand out resume, superb interviewing skills and a strong network that can alert you to opportunities.

With planning, preparation and perseverance, you can get through being laid off and find another or a new career.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://wmzq.com/pages/WMZQPSAs.html

Dealing With Difficult Co-Workers

2008-10-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Dealing with Difficult Coworkers

The Saboteur. The Exploder. The Demeanor. These monikers sound like characters out of a James Bond novel. In reality, they are sitting in the cubicle next to yours.

Accompanied by the Jerk, the Complainer, the Empty Pit, the Victim, the Micromanager, the Know-It-All, the Gossip and the Constant Competitor, these difficult and obnoxious coworkers can drive you to distraction. Worse, they can impact your work and the work of others, poison the atmosphere and hurt your company’s productivity, not to mention its bottom line.

Dealing with difficult coworkers is a skill that can be mastered, however. With a little knowledge, a lot of understanding and a few tips, you will be able to marginalize these negative forces, overcome workplace difficulties and get back to work.

Use Your E.Q.
One of the best ways to deal with difficult coworkers is through your emotional intelligence. People with high E.Q.s are able to understand the motivations and sources of bad behavior, and this is critical to dealing with the problem. Most difficult people are people with very low emotional intelligence; they have no clue what they are doing or either don’t know or don’t care about the impact of their behavior. But you should use your E.Q. to recognize difficult coworkers and try to discern the motivation behind their behavior. That, in turn, will determine your reaction to it and whether the behavior warrants intervention.

Some people just like to vent, and have no idea that this is annoying and distracting to others. Some people like to cause trouble and make others miserable. Some are simply stunted emotionally -- they never learned how to play nice with others. Others get corrupted by power. Some coworkers may be in over their heads, which creates a situation of personal stress and fear.

Still others are replicating behaviors that have made them successful in the past, but which now serve to undermine the workplace. Some are just overly ambitious and are trying to get ahead at any cost. And others may just be reacting to the unwritten value system of the organization. It’s sad but true, there are many organizations that actually promote and reward difficult behaviors.

Assess, Strategize and Act

Very often, we are terrified to confront others in situations where we really should. In many cases, we enable people to behave poorly by not standing up to them and asking that the behavior stop. This is because most people don’t have an effective model or paradigm for making clear requests and delineating clear boundaries. But dealing with difficult people can usually be handled in 2 or 3 minutes using a well thought out and simple request. There is a right way to do this: assess, strategize and act. Here are the steps:

Don’t take it personally. Detach yourself emotionally from the situation. Take a walk, calm down and sort through your emotional landscape until you can look at the situation clearly and objectively.
Assess the situation honestly. Ask yourself, What is really bothering me? Why does it bother me? What value of mine is being trampled? What boundary is being crossed? How is this hurting my job or ability to perform my job? Can I ignore the behavior and do my job?
Third, explore your contribution to the behavior. This is crucial, as many people suffer from a “victim” personality. You know the Victim. This is the person who is always blaming others for their failings or for their poor performance. This is the person who is always waiting for others to change their evil ways and is never willing to look at their own contribution to the problem. So, take a good hard look at yourself. What has been your contribution to the situation? How are your actions, opinions, perspectives, or behaviors impacting the situation? You have to be willing to change your own behavior before you seek to change others. Name your contribution and own your piece of it, so that you can change and stop.
Fourth, determine what behavior you want changed or stopped. Think about what exactly you want to change.
Think about and practice how you will speak to your coworker. You must find a way that will resolve the situation and not perpetuate it. Remember, don’t phrase it personally. You do not want to come across as attacking the person, just seeking change in a behavior. Make the request in a calm, clear, non-personal and unemotional manner. Do not judge or use the word “should.”
If you are a manager or supervisor, use business tools to make the request and follow up. This includes memos, e-mails, follow-up meetings, performance reviews, etc.

There are lots of mistakes you can make when dealing with difficult or irrational coworkers. First, don’t take it personally. Don’t get emotionally hooked or drawn in by this person. Second, don’t respond at their level. Instead, use your E.Q. and take the higher ground. Third, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that people “should” behave differently or behave to your own internal code of conduct. Understand that others do not necessarily accept your value system and internal ethos. For example, just because you think that managers should care about their employees, or that managers should be fair and give you credit or that coworkers should be teammates or should be respectful and friendly, doesn’t mean that is the way it is. Get real about your workplace.

It is never easy to approach a coworker about bad behavior. In many cases, you do not need or want to go over the person’s head. It should be dealt with one on one. But there are many times when it is advisable to include a third party, either a supervisor or someone from HR. This should only be done if you’ve tried to resolve the situation yourself to no avail, if the difficult people begin to create a toxic and threatening atmosphere, when their behavior is threatening organizational productivity or if you believe that person is truly unhinged. Then get a higher up involved.

When the Boss Is the Problem

If the toxic person is your boss, then you have a tough situation. In any workplace, it is a smart move to “manage up,” which means you should manage and establish a relationship with your boss in a mutually beneficial fashion. You need to make the boss look good and do what it takes to be in his or her good graces. There is nothing wrong with a little ingratiation (which is not the same thing as brown nosing). If you’ve established a good relationship with the boss, you may be able to talk it out. But if not, you've basically got three choices, none of which is great.

First, leave the company. Second, accept the situation and develop strategies to unhook yourself emotionally from your boss’s behavior. Third, try to change your situation at work. Get a new job within the company, try to get your boss fired, or try to change your boss’s behavior.

None are terrific options, but if you choose option two, here are some tips to detach yourself emotionally.

Tip 1: Reframe how you see things. Change your mental model about what is going on. Instead of seeing your boss as an insensitive jerk, try to see him as someone who is scared and in over his head.
Tip 2: Hope for the best, but expect the worst. Stop expecting your boss to be someone he/she isn’t. Prepare for worst case encounters
Tip 3: Practice emotional detachment. Stop linking your self worth to jerks at work. Find another way to value yourself.
Tip 4: Limit your exposure. Meet with your boss as rarely as possible. Do whatever you can to create buffers.
Tip 5: Build pockets of safety. Find people with whom it is safe to vent and create strategies. A sort of victim support group.

Study and practice
It is not easy to handle and deal with difficult coworkers or supervisors. Even with the above tips you will need to practice your approach. There are lots of places to get help, though, and here are three books I highly recommend for further study: “Working with you is killing me,” by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster; “The No Asshole Rule,” by Robert Sutton; and “Crucial Confrontations,” by Kerry Patterson.

With a little understanding, a little detachment and some practice, you can figure out the problem, the source and what to do about it.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://wmzq.com/pages/WMZQPSAs.html

Emotional Intelligence At Work

2008-10-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Emotional Intelligence

Many different things go into the making of a good leader and a strong individual. Knowledge, drive, ambition, resourcefulness, force of will, intellect, etc. But there is one factor that almost all successful people share - emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to use your emotions in a positive and constructive way in relationships with others. It's about engaging with others in a way that brings people towards you, not away from you. Emotional Intelligence is about recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional states of others and being “choiceful” about how you interact and engage with them. It is about choosing to engage people in a positive and constructive manner, and it can help tremendously in the workplace.

The E.I. Personality
Emotional Intelligence is divided into 4 basic competencies. Each competency has several skills or personality traits.

1. Self Awareness
This is recognizing how emotions affect one's performance. It requires an accurate self assessment, a candid sense of one's personal strengths and limits and then being able to accurately identify one's own areas of improvement. Self-aware individuals are reflective and learn from experience. They are open to candid feedback, new perspectives and self-development.

2. Self Management
This is the ability to manage one's internal states, impulses, and resources. It means being choiceful in interactions with others and the ability to manage or control reactions to difficult situations. Personality traits include self control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, innovation and optimism.

3. Awareness of Others (Social Awareness)
This is the awareness of other people's feelings, needs, and concerns. It means having empathy, seeking to understand others and being able to read and tune in to the emotional state of others. Social awareness skills include understanding others, developing others, service orientation, leveraging diversity and having political awareness.

4. Relationship Management
This competency is about successfully engaging with others. It includes the ability to communicate, relate and listen well to others and to induce desirable responses in them. People with this ability understand that emotions are contagious. They can adapt their communication styles to people and situations.

EI in the Workplace

Emotional Intelligence is extremely useful at work. Most workplaces rely on different people working together to create a product or service. The workplace is not “all business.” It is a social network and, as such, it is a hotbed of emotions, egos, stress and conflict. Emotional Intelligence can help you develop robust relationships, solve problems using both logic and feelings, maintain an optimistic and positive outlook, cultivate flexibility in stressful situations, help others express their needs, respond to difficult people and situations calmly and thoughtfully and respond to change with grace and calm.

Many people assume that a high IQ is more important than high EI skills. While both are important, many studies show that EI is a much more accurate determinant for success and career growth than technical skills or a high IQ. Today's workplaces are fast moving and full of change. The ability to roll with the punches is huge. You'll get the best out of your employees if you create an emotionally intelligent workplace and you'll be a better employer or leader if you use your EI.

Emotional Intelligence really comes into play when it comes to managing and dealing with difficult people, including customers, employees, colleagues, and bosses. Your ability to understand and empathize goes a long way. EI is important for managing change, understanding the political landscape for a new project, dealing well with setbacks or workplace obstacles, motivating and influencing others and working with or for a team with different personalities.

Some people are born with natural EI sills. In certain fields, EI goes hand in hand with success, like sales. Some people are natural born salesmen. Many companies actually use EI competency testing as criteria for selection into highly engaging positions like sales. A recent survey showed that companies that selected their sales people by using EI competency criteria decreased their first year turnover rate by a whopping 63 percent.

But EI can also be taught and many companies hire consultants like me to host workshops to train employees on emotional intelligence. If companies are truly committed to creating a positive workplace, this can be a great way to start.

EI works on the self-employed as well. First of all, very few people actually work “alone.” Even if you are a sole task producer you still have to create something for a customer and client, so your ability to manage your relationships, even if it is just one or two, is pretty important. And you still have to manage yourself. Your state of mind will absolutely affect your work product. Being able to manage your own emotional landscape will definitely help improve your work product and process.

How Employers Can Use EI
Employers and managers should think about what kind of climate will get the best out of their employees. It always makes me cringe when I see leaders use oppressive tactics to drive performance. It really isn't a successful long-term strategy, especially if you hit hard economic times. A person's relationship with their employer is and has always been a leading factor in an employee's decision to stay or go, and contributes greatly to their productivity.

So if you want to improve your image as a leader, get feedback and be willing to make improvements in yourself and your management style. And remember, being emotionally intelligent is not about “being soft” or forgoing the bottom line. It's about creating and maintaining constructive and generative relationships and environments, and that helps your bottom line.

EI is critical for top leaders. In fact, the higher your position in a company, the more important emotional intelligence becomes. According to the Center for Creative Leadership, the biggest reason that managers fail is because of poor interpersonal skills. Another survey showed that 85 percent of the difference between a good leader and an excellent leader is emotional intelligence.

You can easily see this when you ask people what qualities they think make a great leader or boss. Eighty-five percent of the qualities they name are usually EI qualities while only a handful turn out to be technical skills. EI is critical for a good leader.

How to Measure Your EI
There are lots of books out there that you can use to test your EI. You can also go online to find lots of tests, like queendom.com

Employers are always looking for people who are not only book smart, but are also charismatic, optimistic and resilient. They want people who are not afraid to use emotional intelligence to get ahead. Find out where you stand so you can use your EI to get ahead. Whether you are an employee, a boss, a manager or are self-employed, EI is a critical component of your success.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://wmzq.com/pages/WMZQPSAs.html

The Working Life: Introvert vs. Extravert Leaders

2008-05-01T04:50:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Introvert vs. Extravert Leaders

Are you an innie or an outie? I’m not talking bellybuttons; I’m talking about your leadership style. Leadership, like personalities, comes in different shapes and sizes. There are extraverts and introverts. Some leaders are the “strong and silent” type while others are larger than life characters full of charisma. There are challenges inherent in both, but they can be overcome with a little education.

Definitions
Introversion or extraversion is not about how shy or social you are. It is about how individuals derive their energy.

An introvert’s essential stimulation, their source of energy, comes from within, from their inner world of thoughts, ideas and reflections. The introvert directs and receives energy from his inner world. They like to focus on their own inner world of ideas and experiences. They direct energy/attention inward and receive energy from reflecting on thoughts, memories and feelings.

The extravert, on the other hand, gets their essential stimulation from the outer world, the world of people and things. The extravert directs and receives energy from the outside world. They focus on the outer world. They direct their energy and attention outward and receive energy from interacting with people and from taking action.

This is not about sociability or shyness; it’s about where your energy comes from. I know lots of shy extraverts and lots of gregarious introverts. Introverts can certainly be very social and engaging, but the difference is that it is extremely exhausting for introverts to engage. It drains their energy to focus externally.

How do you know what you are?
It’s important to understand two things. First, introversion or extraversion is a personality trait, or more precisely, a personality preference that rests within every person. A preference is a manner of interacting with the world that feels the most comfortable naturally and frequently. Second, everybody has both qualities in their personality. But, according to psychologists and personality researchers, we tend to lean consistently one way or the other.

The most widely understood and researched metric on introversion/extraversion is the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator, also known as the MBTI. It is an excellent test to take to determine your personality type. You can simply Google MBTI or the words introversion and you will be directed to lots of information and sources for learning more about your personality preference.

A quick place to start, however, is to simply assess the way you feel about interactions based on the energy explanations above. Are you energized by interactions or enervated by them?

How introverts and extraverts differ in the workplace
Introverts and extraverts can have significantly different characteristics in the workplace. It is all about where you prefer to focus your attention and get your energy. In general:

Extraverts:

Are attuned to their external environment
Prefer to communicate by talking
Prefer action over reflection—can act and respond quickly
Work out ideas by talking them through: They speak to think
Learn best through doing or discussing
Share thoughts freely
Are sociable and expressive
Extend self into the environment
Enjoy working in groups

Introverts:

Are drawn to inner world
Prefer written communication
Prefer reflection over action—may need time to “process” before action
Work out ideas by reflecting and thinking: They think to speak
Learn best by reflection
Guard thoughts until they are (almost) perfect
Private and contained
Defend against external demands
Enjoy working alone or with only a few people

Extraverts are very good at remaining aware of the external environment, maintaining their networks, and taking quick action. Introverts are really good at paying attention to the infrastructure, conceptualizing problems, and looking deeply into issues. Both possess excellent, though different natural skill sets.

The leadership difference
The Introversion/Extraversion personality preference is important to leadership because it directly pertains to how people relate to other people, especially in terms of communication and engagement with others.

In every industry or sector, three of the most important skills leaders need are the ability to inspire, motivate and enable others to act. To do this requires a communication and personal engagement style that promotes a sense of trust and confidence with one’s employees and co-workers.

Because introverts are more naturally inclined to focus their energies within they sometimes forget the importance of connecting and communicating with others consistently and openly. In a sense, the introverted leader often has to work a little harder on the people side of leadership.

Now, successful leaders come in many shapes and sizes. Great leadership requires the development of many, many skills. So, while I don’t think that either type is more innately skilled at organizational leadership, there is some data to suggest that introverted leaders may have a few more challenges to overcome in the American workplace culture. So, in some ways extraverts have a bit of an advantage. But it is hard to tell whether this is about skill or the perception/projection American organizations place on their leaders.

For example, a recent study found that: 60 percent of the population are extraverts; 40 percent are introverts; 71 percent of executives identified themselves as extraverts; and 29 percent of executives identified themselves as introverts.

So it is definitely fair to say that the American business environment selects extraverts as leaders more often than introverts, and that generally speaking the workplace has more extraverts in it than introverts. It is also true that the qualities of extraverts are the ones most people commonly associate with leadership.

Challenges for introverted leaders
Introverts possess many skills that are associated with great leadership. Introverts are associated with deep reflection and a desire to think through decisions. Introverts are naturally disinclined to be in the middle of the fray, if you will, so they can provide an outside perspective on what is happening. They are very good at analyzing and assessing. Because they are listening more than talking, introverts can also gain deeper understandings of situations. By the same token, introverts face greater challenges than extraverts. These include isolation; projections or aloofness, snobbery or being disinterested; lack of communication; and lack of engagement.

Leadership is largely about motivating and inspiring others. Great leadership is about rising above the transactional into the transformational. In order to do this, one must be adept at engaging and inspiring others. And the only way to do this is to focus on the outer world. This is not impossible for introverts; it is just more difficult for them. It requires a bigger stretch and a significant energy commitment.

Here are some specific strategies introverted leaders can utilize to become better leaders:

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Learn to think out aloud. Include others in brainstorming.
Use listening skills to create trust and build rapport. One of the greatest “projections” people make about introverts is that they are great listeners. So use this to your advantage.
Don’t forget what to reflect back what you’ve heard. People want to know that they have been heard.
Involve others and articulate your thinking. Share information freely. Introverts have a habit of delivering full-blown solutions or edicts without articulating the thought process or motivation behind them, so learn to articulate your thinking and involve others.
Be accessible. Engage others substantially. Network!
Followers need to see you. They need to trust and understand you. They need to think you have their best interests at heart. So get out there.
Take care of your solitude. Carve out specific times of solitude for recharging yourself.

Challenges for the extravert
Extraverts don’t have it made, though. There are lots of challenges for them, too. Their outward energy can intimidate other people who may not feel they are being heard. Extraverted executives may overwhelm and intimidate people, push ideas prematurely, and unintentionally reveal confidences. Then, when ideas are leaked or taken as decisions rather than mere brainstorming possibilities, the executive feels betrayed. Extraverts have to be careful. They like to think out loud, which can lead to problems.

Here are some ways extroverts can be better leaders:

Ask yourself, why am I talking?
Provide space for other people to contribute.
Ask more questions, and really listen. Resist the urge to immediately start providing your opinion.
Tell introverts ahead of time what you’d like to discuss.
Be careful what you say. Remember, as leader, your talking out loud may confuse people. What you say carries a lot of weight. Too much talking out loud may make you appear indecisive. If you are going to “extrovert” or brainstorm ideas, make sure people know that is what you are doing.
Be careful of oversharing. Not everything needs to be discussed out loud.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

Networking Now!

2008-04-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Effective Networking

With all the demands on our time made by our professional and personal lives, many of us assign networking a low priority. After all, we already have so many commitments to our co-workers, friends and family, that is difficult to set aside extra time to venture out and meet new people. But networking is absolutely essential to a strong career and a strong professional life. A little effort will go a long way.

What is networking?
Networking is the art of building and sustaining mutually beneficial relationships. Networking is about meeting people and building relationships before you need them; finding ways to be of service to others; sharing knowledge and contacts; connecting with and to other people.
The world is a social system. All walks of life are based on social interactions.

We accomplish things in this world by working with other people. Networking is important because it can help you strengthen the social relationships necessary to succeed. Having a strong network can help you reach many of life’s goals. Think of networking as a key part of your career foundation.

However, it is important that you understand that networking is NOT selling anything, asking for a job, schmoozing, hustling, manipulating, or using other people. You aren’t asking for anything when you network; you are building a relationship, a beneficial one, of course, but a relationship first and foremost.

Networking isn’t easy. Building relationships is time consuming. Many of us already feel overscheduled, overworked, overburdened, or just want to leave the office after our 9 to 5 day. Our time is precious. But the question you have to ask yourself is, can you afford not to network?
Think about your personal and professional goals. People generally like to help other people. Most people have a bigger network than they realize; they just don’t know how to utilize it.
By not consistently widening our circles of acquaintances and contacts, we may be severely curtailing our chances for advancement and success. I’ve read that on average most people know about 250 people, and each of those people know another 250 people and so on and so forth. Imagine the information and resources that could be available to you if you use that network to your advantage.

The who’s and how’s of networking
You should network and create alliances with people you like, people you find interesting, both inside and outside your industry. Network with people who have common goals. Connect with people whom you like and who like you. Make time for people who make you feel positive, energized and worthy. And, even though networking should be broad, you definitely want to network with people that can help you, because someday, they just might.

The Internet is an increasingly popular place to network. Chat rooms and social network sites are great for either initial contacts or for maintaining contacts, but face-to-face is where you can really cement and build strong and lasting relationships. People are still people, especially in the business world. There is nothing like a personal encounter to build a relationship. Or a career.

In terms of actually getting out and networking, there are two approaches, structured and organic.
The structured approach tells people that you should go into every networking situation with clear goals of whom you want to meet and what you want to achieve. The organic approach, on the other, is about just letting natural attraction work its magic.

Whichever approach you use, just remember one thing: that in order to be successful you have to be authentic to make a real connection to another person. Think of it like dating—you don’t want to be seen as that desperate person hitting on people. You don’t want to come across as pushy, rude, aggressive or single-minded. You want to be genuine. And never forget the goal is to connect with a person, not their title.

The etiquette of networking
Let’s start with a business card. When it is appropriate to hand one out?
First of all, your business card is not disposable; don’t be throwing it around like confetti.
Your business card is an extension of you and your professional stature and should be treated as such. Offer your card to people only after you’ve made a meaningful connection. Never ask someone senior than you for their card; they should offer it first. And don’t offer yours to them unless they ask for it. That said, when you are about to enter a networking situation, always keep a supply of cards handy and easily accessible, along with a pen. When the CEO of your dream company asks you for your card, you don’t want to fumble for it.

Now, your appearance and demeanor are crucial to successful networking. I talked above about authenticity and being genuine, and this is imperative. You don’t want to appear slick and on the take. You’ll get the most out of business networking by being authentic, engaging, and memorable. Here are some tips:

Be sincere.
Make a positive impression with good manners, eye contact, body language and an excellent handshake.
Focus on the other person. Be curious about who they are, ask questions and listen.
Remember people’s names.
Focus on quality interactions, not quantity.
Be positive and upbeat.
Never complain or gossip. You never know who knows whom and what might get around.
Don’t dismiss someone just because of his or her title.
Don’t scan the room. Even if you are just curious, you will be labeled as the guy who is looking for someone better to talk to.

After a business networking event, it is crucial to follow up properly. Immediately send a note or an e-mail to people whom you enjoyed meeting and tell them what a pleasure it was. If you made an offer to connect that person with someone else make sure you follow up. Networking is a two-way street. You have to give to get.

If you find someone you really liked, then get together for lunch or coffee.
Remember, meeting someone is just the start; building a relationship takes a little more effort. But networking the right way is always worth it.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: Effective Retention Strategies

2008-04-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Effective Retention Strategies

We all know how important it is for businesses to find, attract and retain a talented workforce. In today’s world, workers, especially younger ones, change jobs much more frequently than they did 10 years ago. Turnover has a huge financial and organizational cost as businesses struggle to recruit and train new employees. So what are the secrets to retaining quality employees? Do younger workers want different things than more seasoned workers? How do you keep young talent from jumping ship?

What’s the problem?
The problem is that, in large measure, today’s workforce is restless. A recent study by the Society for Human Resource Management found that nearly three-quarters of any given workforce is looking for employment elsewhere. SHRM reported that 41 percent of employees were passively job seeking, 31 percent were actively job seeking while just 28 percent were not searching at all.

A full 50 percent of workers polled said they were likely to increase or begin a job search as the job market continues to improve.

And that’s one of the root causes of the problem; a strong job market and strong economy make workers restless, as they seek other, better employment opportunities. At the same time, a tight labor market means there are not enough skilled workers to go around.

The highest turnover is in middle management and non-management, and turnover is highest among the youngest workers, those in Gen Y and Gen X. Younger workers are much more likely to seek opportunities elsewhere if they are not getting what they want at an organization. And this is a problem because if you don’t keep your pipeline of talent happy, productive and retained, you won’t have much of a pool to draw from.

Retaining talent is a bottom-line issue for all companies, and 75 percent of human resource directors say they are concerned or very concerned about it. Keeping workers happy and productive is imperative, especially among the youngest sector. Here’s how to do it.

What’s the best way to retain young talent?

Obviously, money and benefits are very important to employees, and companies with good pay packages will do a good job of recruiting and retaining employees. But all things being equal, your competition probably has similar pay packages, so the question is, what sets your firm apart? How do you make your company a preferred employer?

This comes down to one, simple, yet complex factor—how your employees feel about working for your organization. And with the Generation X and Y workers, where turnover is the highest and where retention is a problem, companies have to understand what those workers need, and give it to them.

While, most people want similar things out of work: to be respected, to contribute positively and to be paid well. Younger talent place a higher value on things like professional development, relationship with their boss, and opportunities for advancement. Remember, young folks want to launch a career. Therefore if you want to retain them you should integrate some retention strategies that are aligned with their goals and your goals.
I recommend the following retention strategies:

I. Onboarding

Employee retention begins on day one. Studies show that new hires begin to question their decision to join your organization after their very first day, which is why employee orientation is absolutely key. The most frequent complaint about employee orientation is that it is boring, overwhelming or non-existent. This is where onboarding comes in. Onboarding differs from conventional orientation in that it is a comprehensive approach that serves to introduce and integrate new employees.

This approach is extremely important for young talent. Onboarding is your first opportunity to deliver on recruitment promises; you must reaffirm their decision to “buy” into your employment. In it, you must build cohort, solicit their input from day one, provide an authentic overview of your organizational culture, and get senior leaders involved. Show them how their work contributes to the organization. Use career and organizational success stories.

Young workers want to see how they will fit in, they want to be part of a team, and they want to be assured that their work is meaningful. Give them that from day one and your retention task will be a lot easier.

II. Professional Development

This is all about training. Employees want to have the skills to succeed.
This is especially true for young talent. The problem is that traditionally, organizations offer professional development as a “reward’ for service. Why do they wait?
Remember, this is about career launching. Training and development is a critical investment for individual and organizational success. If they are lacking skill or certain professional “sensibilities” then find them appropriate training. Don’t wait until the gap becomes a festering wound.

Training must be facilitative, interactive, and fun. Young people today need the “soft skills” as well as the hard, technical skills. Gen Y does not learn passively; they learn through active engagement, so be sure that your training is tailored to what works best for them.

III. Manage, Coach, & Mentor

Managers and supervisors of young talent must become adept at managing, coaching, and mentoring them. Gen Y is used to having adults invested in their success. They are used to being coached and mentored at home and at school, so they need this in the workplace as well.
Gen Y has defined expectations from their managers: They want respect. They want to be treated as colleagues not “kids” They want their managers to take an active interest in their well being. They want consistent and honest feedback. They want reward and recognition. They want a clear delegation of task with a flexible process. Again, recognize what they need and give it to them. If you don’t, someone else will.
Your organizational culture must support personal and professional development. In order to make this work, you have to provide your managers with the skills they need. And you need to hold them accountable. If your managers aren’t ready consider outside sources or structured coaching and mentoring programs

IV. Meaningful Work

Meaningful work means people feel like they are making an important contribution to the organization’s mission. For young talent it is an opportunity for them to showcase their talents and skills and develop professionally. Young talent will not be happy only doing menial labor; they want to contribute something they believe is meaningful.
You must find a way to give them substantial work. Give them a seat at the table.
Create strategic initiatives for them to tackle. Be open to new ideas and new ways of doing things. Show them how their work contributes to the organization. Recognize and reward contributions. This is the groundwork you laid in your onboarding; now you have to deliver.

V. The Stay Interview
I am convinced that if more companies did this, turnover would be much lower. The stay interview is a situation in which you find out why your employees are staying. It’s an interview where you find out what your employees love or hate about your organization, sort of a how’s it going, state of the union sort of thing. Stay interviews are a great way to find out what your organization is doing right so that you may leverage it to make better strategic retention strategy decisions.

Rather than waiting for the exit interview, why not find out now what is working and what isn’t? It seems kind of insane that we ask people why they leave—as they are leaving! This information doesn’t really help us in real time, does it?

Stay interviews should be focused on the positive. They shouldn’t just be a bitch session, though you do need to find out if something isn’t working. Use appreciative inquiry, like:

What will keep you here?
What might entice you away?
What is most energizing about your work?
Are we fully utilizing your talents?
What is inhibiting your success?
What can we do differently to best assist you?

Conclusion
By using these strategies, your company can build a retention strategy that will keep all your workers longer and happier. The key is to understand that your youngest workers approach their careers differently. Once you understand this, you can be proactive and accommodate theses differences, and that will help you retain them.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

Successful Retreats

2008-01-24T13:12:00.000-08:00

The Working Life: Designing an Effective Offsite Retreat

The offsite retreat. Some people love them. Some people hate them. And it’s easy to see why. If done well, retreats can be a powerful way to help organizations bring about positive change. If done poorly, retreats can be a waste of time and can actually make things worse.

Holding an effective retreat is hard work, but organizations can get a leg up if they follow some basic rules.

What is it?
A retreat is an offsite gathering of a group of similarly engaged people – co-workers, team members, managers, board members – with the purpose of digging deeply into issues. The gathering is held offsite so that the group can focus and not be distracted by the goings on in an office or by their day-to-day life. Retreats are an opportunity to bring people together to have conversations that they don’t normally have.

Why do it?
There are lots of reasons organizations hold retreats. Sometimes they are held to solve a problem, sometimes to explore a new strategy, sometimes to evaluate, sometimes to train; it depends on the objective and the company’s need. Leaders should seriously consider using a retreat when they want the support, input and creativity of their organizational members or partners. A well-designed and well-facilitated retreat can be very effective in:

Helping change a strategic direction
Dealing with sources of conflict and confusion
Generating creative solutions for entrenched problems
Getting people on the same page and pulling in the same direction
Improving working relationships and increase trust
Creating a common framework and point of reference
Fostering a collective vision
Generating honest and enlightening conversations
Helping people feel heard in issues that are important to them

That said, here are 7 excellent reasons for holding an offsite retreat:

To explore serious organizational concerns or obstacles. Suppose productivity is low or turnover is high, retreats can be a great avenue to explore causes and potential solutions for thorny organizational issues.
To tap into group creativity. Retreats are a great opportunity to tap into the collective wisdom and creativity of a group. Taking people out of the day-to-day parameters of office life can greatly increase the creative process.
To tackle tough decisions. No matter how strong the leader, tough decisions will require the support of organizational members. Involving members in the decision-making on critical issues can result in high quality decisions with large-scale support.
To create a collective vision of success for the organization, department, team or group. Day-to-day organizational life doesn’t hold much time for big picture thinking among and between organizational members and groups. Often, tensions arise as different players have different goals and priorities. Retreats are a great way to align and design different parts of an organization with a common vision and commitment.
To explore and foster change. Whether you need a change in culture or a change in business processes, retreats are an effective way to explore and promote new ways of doing things. This can be especially important for leaders who are considering change. Getting input and involvement early in the change process will greatly increase the odds of creating successful change.
To improve organizational relationships and align members’ behaviors, attitudes and perceptions. Organizations are complex social structures. Sometimes relationships, behaviors and attitudes go awry. A well-designed retreat can go a long way to explore, align, and improve relationships, behaviors, attitudes and perceptions.
To evaluate or correct your course. Sometimes the most effective thing an organization can do is to simply take a breath and a 1000-foot view of how things are working. We call this the temperature check. What’s working well? What could be improved? Providing people with an opportunity to play a role in deciding what needs to change (or not) is an excellent way to build support and commitment for organizational goals and priorities.

There are, of course, lots of bad reasons for holding a retreat. Even though well intentioned, your reason may be not be sound.

Here are 7 bad reasons for holding a retreat:

Tradition. Many people think that annual retreats are a good idea just because they’ve always done one. They think just the act of bringing people together is a good idea. But having a retreat without a serious purpose is a bad idea. A retreat is not a party or a picnic. People don’t generally appreciate having their time wasted. Pointless retreats will breed cynicism faster than you can imagine.
Making an individual problem a group problem. Oftentimes leaders have a few non-team players and they decide a retreat is the best way to deal with these issues. Resist that urge. While an offsite can be a great way to surface and negotiate differences, the issues raised in a retreat should be germane and actionable to everyone in the room, not just a select few.
Talking at participants instead of with them. Retreats are not a one-way conversation. Retreats are not the appropriate venue for lengthy presentations or agenda pushing. While it is important to keep people well informed, daylong presentations do not constitute a retreat. People associate retreats with participation and change. Don’t confuse or mislead the participants.
Retreat as reward. Many organizational leaders want to use a retreats as a way to reward hard work. This is a mistake. People rarely see retreats as rewards. Because they are likely to have even more work as the result of a day (or two) out of the office, attending a pointless retreat will not foster a sense of gratitude. If you want to reward employees, have a picnic, or give them a bonus.
Improving morale. A retreat in and of itself is not going to improve morale. While using a retreat to explore morale issues and improvement ideas, do not confuse the diagnosis with the treatment. In fact, holding a retreat can actually worsen morale if action isn’t taken from ideas or concerns raised in the retreat.
The covert agenda. This means not putting real choice on the table. People view retreats as an opportunity to provide real input on real change. Leaders will sometimes use a retreat as a way to “get buy-in” on an issue in which they have already decided. But it is dangerous to involve participants in a retreat on an issue that is already decided. Do not use a retreat to push a covert agenda or give people a false sense of participation. This will create a sense of ill will that will take years to overcome.
No intention (or ability) to follow through or act on participants’ suggestions. When you ask people for their input, you raise expectations that this input will be implemented in some way. Do not disappoint them. Also, be wary of holding retreats where the topics are out of your and/or their sphere of influence or control.

How to do it
Now that you know why (and why not) to hold a retreat and what you can expect to get out of it, you have to take the time to design and execute one. A good retreat can improve communication, energize and motivate, improve engagement and or improve skill sets. A bad retreat can make matters worse. Good retreats require weeks, if not months, of solid planning in order to be effective.

Sadly, most people groan when they hear their organization is holding a retreat. Many people have had terrible experiences with retreats or imagine them to be as bad as their company meetings. Very few organizations do retreats well. Heck, most companies don’t even do meetings well, let alone plan and execute an effective retreat, so you can’t really blame people for their attitudes.

But by following some guiding principles in designing your retreat, leaders can plan and execute an effective offsite.

1. Know your objective and goals. Retreats should be designed and conducted in order to create organizational action or change, with a distinct goal in mind. Everything at the retreat, from participants to location to design, must fall from your specific retreat goals. Ask yourself: What will be different as a result of this retreat? What will this retreat create?

2. Be realistic. A one-day retreat with 30 people goes by pretty quickly, so try not to bite off more than you can chew. Keep your agenda proportionate to the length of the retreat and to the number of participants.

3. Invite the right people. Once you have your goals established you need to think about who you need at the retreat to accomplish those goals. Invite the people with the power, influence and information you need to reach successful results. Participants should also be involved in planning whenever possible. People always support what they helped to create.

4. Market the retreat wisely. Retreats carry a lot of baggage and expectations and people are naturally skeptical. It is essential that the project is announced properly and openly. And make sure both those who are invited and those who are not invited all have a common understanding of the purpose and process of the retreat.

5. Keep it focused. Retreats must relate to the actual day-to-day work of the organization. Don’t wander.

6. Keep it organized. Retreats must have structure and purpose. And you must know the message you want to deliver and stay on it.

7. Follow-up. This is, without a doubt, the most critical determinant on whether a retreat is deemed successful and effective. It is also the number one thing that most retreat conveners fail to do. Transparent follow up and follow through is absolutely essential.

Who should run the retreat?
In order to be effective and successful, your retreat will need someone to run it. That person may or may not be your company CEO, president, or manager. Very often, companies call in a professional facilitator to plan and execute the retreat. This is smart for many reasons.
First, a facilitator is a professional process expert but is a neutral party. Because leaders or employees have an enormous stake in the outcome of the retreat it is often difficult, if not impossible, for leaders to remain content neutral. Facilitators can also help plan and organize the retreat. They will focus on helping to foster innovative conversations, not on directing content. They will help surface different perspectives in ways that is often difficult for leaders to do. A trained professional will be able to help you think through different methodologies and conversation tools.

Another advantage to using a professional facilitator is that it allows the leader to be a participant. This helps people feel more comfortable in raising differing viewpoints if they see the leader as another participant, and in some ways a peer in the meeting.

Participating rather than leading is often difficult for a leader to do, but they should strive to use the retreat as a true opportunity to listen and learn. Whether the leader facilitates the retreat or is active as a participant, he or she should:

Provide space for others to speak. In other words don’t dominate the discussion. Be careful about “leading the discussion.”
Be honest. Tell people what you think. Just be aware that your opinion will naturally carry more weight and might make people hesitant to disagree.
Invite opposing viewpoints. Acknowledge and appreciate those who offer up different perspectives and feedback.
Be realistic about what can and/or can’t be changed. The point of a retreat is to effect change. If the participants start creating strategies that you know can’t be implemented—then be honest and say, “sorry, that idea will never fly with the board.”
Work the room. Use the retreat to work and converse with people whom you normally don’t get the opportunity to collaborate with.
Show appreciation and gratitude. And remember to tell people what you learned as a result of their candor and participation.

Given a clear purpose in mind, and when planned and executed correctly, an offsite retreat can be an incredibly effective, energizing and engaging tool for your company.

Just remember to follow up!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

Resolutions That Work

2008-01-24T13:03:00.000-08:00

The Working Life: How to Make A Resolution That Works

Every year, people make countless resolutions about losing weight, traveling to exotic locales, exercising more or finishing that novel. But few people focus on what is one of the most important aspects of their life – work.

People spend most of their time at work, or thinking about work, or looking for work, or worrying about work, and it stands to reason that there is vast room for improvement there.

But change is hard, as everyone who has tried to schedule 30 minutes on that elliptical machine every day knows. A resolution usually involves creating something different in your life or giving something up, and that involves changing something about yourself – your behavior, your actions, your thoughts and your values. It’s not the commitment that’s the hard part, it’s the follow through.

Every year I work with clients who have resolved to make a change in their work life, from finding a new rob, to getting a raise, being more organized, working less, working smarter, spending more time on strategy rather than putting out fires, etc. Most resolutions are aimed at creating a more satisfying and productive work experience.

Invariably, my clients get tripped up by the paradox of their resolution: If your resolution is to create something new and different, you must be willing to destroy something old. You have to be willing to let go of old ways of doing things. And this means truly getting out of one’s comfort zone.

Making the right resolution
Don’t make a resolution just for the sake of it. But if you sincerely want to see a change, creating goals and making resolutions can be a powerful way to focus your energy. There is something very powerful about creating goals.

While the best goals involve a stretch, it is important that some goals are realistic. Having one or two easily achieved goals can help you feel successful and can empower you to take on bigger goals. But by the same token, don’t choose goals that are not really a stretch and are nothing more than items on a to-do list. Resolving to buy a new outfit doesn’t count.

If you really want to bring about some change in your life then it is essential that some (if not most) of your goals are a stretch. Think of your goals as a continuum. One the one end, you should have a few goals that are realistic and easy to achieve. On the other end of the continuum, you should have some BHAG’s or Big Hairy Audacious Goals. These goals should really set out what your perfect vision of life would be. In a continuum, buying that new outfit may be one of the first steps in your overall goal of improving your professional appearance and persona, for example, a resolution that may also include taking new classes, improving your vocabulary and posture, updating your resume, etc.

I see a lot of unrealistic goals in my work. Don’t settle on a resolution that is impossible – going from intern to CEO, for example. Furthermore, too many people make goals or resolutions that aren’t really in their control to actualize. For example, saying, “I resolve not to spend most of my day putting out other people’s fires” may not be in your control if you work for an organization whose modus operandi is very much last minute fire-fighting. To accomplish this resolution would require wholesale cultural change in the organization, something that is enormously difficult and time consuming, and isn’t in your control. Setting unrealistic goals and resolutions can lead to cynicism and dysfunction. Be realistic and optimistic, but not crazy.

An effective action plan
Once you’ve established your resolution and goals, it’s time to develop your action plan. The proper action plan should start with clearly defined goals, stated in a way that you know when you’ve achieved it. Don’t be vague. For example, saying, “I am going to be more organized this year” is great idea, but kind of fuzzy. Be specific, with concrete steps and goals. Instead of resolving to be more organized, resolve to do the following:

My desk will be clear of paperwork every night before I leave the office.
I will return every phone call and email within 24 hours.

You have stated the goal clearly and concisely, now it’s time to create an action plan. First, break it down. Many people don’t accomplish their goals because the goal looks too big or the actions required are too daunting, so break it up into smaller bits. Determine which actions are needed and create a do-able strategy for accomplishing them. Your mantra should be, “Will this action bring me closer or further from my goal?

For example, if your goal is, “My desk will be clear of paperwork every night before I leave the office,” then your strategy might be to take the last 20 minutes of the workday to file and organize. Therefore, your action plan would be to stop everything at, say, 4:30 p.m. and use that time to clear your desk. The goal is to clear your desk by the end of the day; the action plan is to schedule a time to do it. The key is to keep trying strategies until you hit upon one that works for you.

Involving your company
Many forward-thinking employers help their employees achieve their workplace goals. Highly effective organizations and teams allow for the accomplishment of both ordinate (individual) goals and super-ordinate (organizational or group) goals. An organization that doesn’t care about individual workplace goals will not be able to attract and retain top talent. It behooves organizations to create processes and dialogue around its employee goals.

This is easily done through providing employees with an opportunity to create IDPs, or individual development plans. Managers should take a very active interest in helping their people create and accomplish their IDPs. This requires dialogue and feedback.

There are also some distinct and important workplace-related health issues and resolutions that both the employee and the employer should consider. Carpel tunnel syndrome, weight gain, stress, burnout and other maladies are all work-related, and people should resolve to take more breaks, move around, be more active, improve their visual environment and take other steps to improve their overall health. Generally speaking, healthier employees are happier and more productive employees. Everybody wins.

The goal is near
Now, you’ve made the right, meaningful resolutions, developed a specific action plan to reach your goals and are well on your way. Remember to:

Review your goals along the way.
Consistently choose the actions and behavior that will get you there.
Keep your mantra in mind: Will this action bring me closer or further from my goal?
Reward yourself, not just when you reach your goal but for staying on track, too. You can do it.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: Changing Jobs Within Your Organization

2007-10-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Changing Jobs Within Your Organization Do you feel like it’s time to move up or across the corporate ladder? Have you ever thought of advancing or changing careers within your company? What if you are a manager and you want to hire an employee from a different department? There is a right way and a wrong way to change jobs and hire employees internally. The right way can lead to fulfilling and empowering career and company growth, while the wrong way can lead to career disaster. But, armed with a little knowledge, intra-company transitions can be effective and profitable. Everybody can win as long as everyone understands the pros, cons and how-to’s of moving up and around within an organization. Let’s start with the employee.

For The Employee Getting ready to make the move
Even before you make the move to apply for that new job, you should lay some groundwork that establishes yourself as a valuable employee, someone your company would want to keep. If you are interested in moving across or up the corporate ladder be willing to take on new challenges.

Go ahead and volunteer for extra responsibility. Volunteering for and taking on special assignments and extra responsibility is a fantastic way to move ahead. It not only demonstrates you are a go-getter, but it also allows you to develop working relationships with new colleagues which, in turn, helps expand your network and showcase your talents.

Having a mentor is another valuable tool. Mentors can really help you learn how to be successful in your organization. They can serve as a sounding board, an advisor, a coach, and a champion for your career. Last, make an effort to build a strong internal network at your organization. Building solid relationships throughout the company will help you stay on the forefront of opportunities. Having a great reputation with everybody is the best marketing tool you can create for yourself.

Take a look around
Next, determine the protocol within your organization. You’ve got to understand how this sort of thing is done at your company, and most large organizations have policies and procedures in place for upward and lateral moves. Large organizations often post open positions in-house and through the Internet. Your HR department can also be a good source of information. Small organizations rely much more on personal relationships and networks, so it may be fine to ask around (and this is where good workplace relationships come into play). You should also be having regular conversations with your boss regarding your career trajectory so that when opportunities arise, both of you will both be ready.

If you become aware of an opportunity in your organization that interests you, then you have to be proactive about it. As with any job, you need to do a little prep work before applying. Talk to people about the job and the team. Determine if it is a good fit for you and if you are qualified. Even if you aren’t qualified, sometimes just applying for a different position sends a strong message that you are ready for a new challenge.

If you decide to proceed, consider discussing this with your boss. Chances are he/she will find out about it so you want to make sure your action is “spun” right. You want to make sure your manager will support your pursuit of another position. If you aren’t sure your immediate boss will support your move, then you may have to rely on the support of someone else within that organization. This is where it really pays to have a solid mentoring relationship with your boss AND a strong network of professional colleagues within the company. This is also a great reason to always have an internal mentor at your workplace who is not your boss.

Not all bosses are alike. If you are a good employee your boss may not be enthused by your desire to move on. Some bosses really take pride in their ability to develop and grow people. Some don’t. It doesn’t make them bad people; it just means they are more invested in creating strong results for their department. So if you really think your boss wouldn’t be supportive, it is important to find another mentor, advisor or champion within the organization. Here are some tips for finding one:

Look around. Who do you respect? With whom do you have good rapport? Who has successfully moved around within the organization?
Find a few people and meet informally with them.
Just be careful you don’t appear to be “going behind your boss’ back. In other words, don’t have coffee with your boss’ best friend.
If your boss does find out be honest. Let him/her know that you are just exploring.

How soon can I move around? This depends on several factors: where you are in your career and what type of company you work for. Some organizations move people around quite liberally. But I would say try to not to move jobs sooner than a year. And I say this for several reasons:

One, you don’t want to seem like a flaky employee. It takes time to get employees up and running so if you change too often employers are going to see you as a risky candidate.
Two, organizations are social networks. If you transition too often, it will confuse your colleagues and people won’t really understand what your expertise is or where your loyalties lie.
And three, it is important to really take the time to figure out what is a good fit for you. If you are constantly moving, then I’m guessing you haven’t really been able to accurately assess yourself and the situation in order to make appropriate decisions.

Now the caveat to this is when you are being recruited and promoted on a steady and consistent basis. In other words, if you are the rising star who is constantly being asked to step up then there will be less stigma. There is a danger to being a rising star, however, and that is that people may start to resent you, especially if you don’t stay in any one position long enough to really show results. In this case people may start to make up stories about you and your sudden rise to success.

II. For The Employer: The etiquette of poaching
Let’s turn the tables a little and talk about recruiting employees from within the organization to leave their current position and work for you. Let’s say you are a supervisor with a vacancy in your department and you have your eye on a possible candidate who has not applied for the position. Is it appropriate to approach this person? Is it OK to poach?

This is really a question of tact and finesse. The answer again depends largely on the culture of the organization and your relationship with the coveted employee and his/her supervisor. There is a fine line between actively recruiting people and letting people know about interesting opportunities. You want to make sure you are someone who can spot and attract good talent, but you don’t want to be known as a shameless poacher. Generally speaking, here is how to do it:

Seek out the employee. Tell him/her about the position and why you think they would be a good fit. Find out if this might be a position that would fit into their career plans. Let them know that you are a fan of their work and would love to talk to them about their career plans.
Invite them to apply. You can simply say something like, “I think you would be great addition to my team and I’d love for you to apply.”

The pros and cons of promoting from within As an employer, there are advantages and disadvantages of promoting an existing employee. The advantages are that existing employees know and understand the organizational culture and the business models utilized by the organization. They understand who all the players are and how to get things accomplished within the business. Existing employees have proven track records and a proven commitment to the organization. Another big advantage is that it helps organizational morale. People like to know that there are opportunities for advancement, so it sends a strong positive message throughout the company.

The disadvantages, however, must be considered. Sometimes, a position really needs a new set of perspectives and ideas. Existing employees often will reinforce the status quo. A person’s internal reputation can also be a disadvantage if their reputation is at all tarnished or questionable.

However, the biggest disadvantage is when people are promoted into managerial jobs based on technical skills. In other words, being a great sales or technical person does not necessarily mean that person will be a great manager. Those positions require very different skill sets. This is one of the biggest problems in organizations today -- organizations don’t spend enough time developing the skills necessary to move from being a great technical or sales person to a great manager. They are very different jobs with very different skills.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: First Job Blues

2007-10-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Combating Those First Job Blues

Your first job. How exciting! How nerve wracking. How disappointing. Your first job out of college or grad school can be all of those. Many people head into new jobs only to find that they aren’t too thrilled with the reality of their career. They often run into what I call the first job blues, and it’s very common. Luckily, the blues can be cured with a little insight, a little attitude adjustment and some very concrete tips.

What are first job blues? First job blues usually pop up two to three months after first-time job holders start working. First job blues can have many symptoms, including feelings of dissatisfaction or frustration; feeling tired, having low energy or feeling a low level depression. Work may feel unfulfilling or pointless and you may start to question your choices and your future. Many start to wonder, “Is this what I went to college for?

First job blues are similar to new job blues, where people may feel similarly dissatisfied after starting a new job. New job blues are when a new job initially doesn’t seem to be a good fit. You’ve been in the working world a while, but those feelings of dissatisfaction creep in after you’ve switched jobs. New job blues are often temporary, as you just need time to adjust to your new workplace culture and position.

Workplace blues aren’t new. People have always felt dissatisfied with their working life. What is different now is that we have far greater expectations that work should be meaningful and fulfilling. This is a relatively new career standard. A generation ago, people worked to provide food, shelter, security, etc. Being fulfilled by work wasn’t part of the equation. That, however, has changed, as people (especially young people just entering the workforce) expect their jobs to be meaningful and fulfilling. Young people today are surrounded by cultural images of exciting and rewarding careers. Expectations are very high.

Additionally, young people today have extraordinary pressures on them to compete, get great test scores, have all the right accomplishments, get into good schools, graduate with good grades, and get a “good job.” Then they get the job and BAM! They are unprepared for real work, the often banal “humdrummery” of day-to-day office life.

The cause of the blues There are four major causes of first job blues: transition, poor job/career fit, poor company fit and misaligned expectations and attitudes. The transition from college to working life is a doozy, and presents the first hurdle. Even when the change is a positive and exciting one, like getting a great job, the transition can be tough. But the transition from college life, where you basically called the shots and were your own boss, to working life, when you are working for someone for pay, presents an enormous challenge.

First of all, the environment is radically different and may appear stagnant, cumbersome and downright annoying. There are also very real physical and psychological adjustments. For example, you are no longer in charge of your own schedule. You have to be at a certain place at a certain time, and many recent grads struggle with not having control over their schedules. Many feel physically exhausted from a 9 to 5 day. Just sitting behind a desk all day is a huge adjustment for many young people.

The second cause of the blues, poor job or career fit, is equally difficult. Your job or career field may have sounded good on paper, but the reality may turn out to be quite different. This happened to me in my first job. I always wanted to be a PR person. I thought PR sounded fun and sexy and my very first job was in that field. Turns out, PR is all about selling and I hated sales. It was not a good fit.

The third cause, poor company fit, crops up when the field or job may be right for you, but the company ethos fits poorly. Organizations, like people, have distinct personalities and cultures. You may love your job or profession but you may not like the organizational environment or personality of your company. It may not be a good fit.

The fourth cause of the blues is one of the most common -- misaligned expectations and attitudes. Entry-level drudgery can be a real downer. It isn’t just that the transition to real work is difficult, it’s that you may have had expectations of writing ad copy or editing manuscripts, when in fact you are making copies and getting coffee. Young people today are used to fast results, instant gratification and lots of attention. They are not so used to the entry-level tasks that everyone must perform before they move ahead.

This is a real problem for many young people, and is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome. Many people expect too much too soon and don’t realize the incredible importance of entry-level work. They think their degree is their golden ticket, when in reality the golden ticket is hard work, starting right at the bottom.

How to beat the blues You can beat the blues easily and I am going to tell you how. But first I will tell you what NOT to do:

Do not disconnect from potential mentors or advisors.
Do not assume the problem is the job and not you, or vice versa; in fact, do not assume anything
Do not quit and run off to grad school
Do not be afraid to ask for help from inside or outside your organization

That said, here is what you can do to beat the blues. The first step is to determine the cause.

You have to be very honest with yourself and ask tough questions. Try to isolate factors. Is it the transition? Are you just tired and out of sorts from working set hours? Is it the job? The company? Were your expectations too high? Do you like what you do? Look up the company ladder and around the office. Do you like what you see? Do you like what the company does? Would you like to do what other people in your organization are doing?

Once you have asked and answered the tough questions, find a mentor in your profession or company. Ask them if they went through this. You may be experiencing very normal transitional hiccups. Really understand what the transition process is all about, that you are going to feel shockwaves for some time about a new schedule. It’s no small feat to become accustomed to entry-level humdrummery. Try to establish relationships at the workplace. Get to know the job better and the company better. Rule things out so you can get to the heart of the blues. And take a good look at your expectations and work ethic.

Now, if you determine that you like the industry or profession, but don’t like the entry-level drudgery or dues paying, you have to suck it up. You will not get ahead until you have worked in that field. You’ve got to lose the green and gain experience. Similarly, if you like the profession or industry but do not like the company, you also have to suck it up until you have enough experience and have paid enough dues so that you can add that entry-level job to your resume. The more experience you have, even just a few months to a year, the more marketable you will be. It doesn’t look good on a resume to quit after four weeks.

Conversely, if you determine that you like the company but not the job then start networking within that organization. If they liked you well enough to hire you, there is a good chance they will help you find a more appropriate home in the organization.

Meet people. Explore other opportunities. Get informational interviews with people in other areas. Volunteer to work on other projects in areas you think would make you happier. Network, network, network.

Last, if you hate the job, the profession and the company, then you will have to do some real soul searching to determine what you want to do. Hiring a career coach can be very helpful. A career coach can help you determine and define your interests, skills and talents. They will help you create a game plan for pursuing and accomplishing your goals and they will support you through this process by giving you honest feedback and advice. If you are really at a loss, a career coach can help. You can find a coach through your college career office, on the Internet or by contacting me.

What companies can do to keep the blues at bay Organizations have to realize that their new recruits are going to go through some tough times, no matter the cause. And there is a lot they can do to soften the blow. First, they should try to provide young recruits with meaningful work. Traditional entry-level tasks like copying have to be balanced out with more meaningful work, or new employees will be demoralized. Companies can provide opportunities for young people to work on projects with older employees. Even if their duties will be small, at least they will feel a sense of connectedness and worth. They’ll be a part of the bigger picture.

Organizations can help their young employees find the right fit by letting them do departmental rotations. This allows young folks to spend several months in different departments until they find the right place.

Last, organizations should check in with their new hires after a month or so. They should make it a point to offer mentors and to introduce young recruits to other workers who are a few years older who can help them see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

Workplace Mentoring

2007-10-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: The Importance of Mentoring

Most successful adults can identify a person who had a significant and positive impact on them. Whether it was a teacher, a coach, a boss, a scoutmaster or a parent, chances are that someone, somewhere along the line acted as a mentor to you.

Today, more and more businesses are embracing the concept of mentoring as a professional development tool. Through mentoring, organizations are seeing dramatic improvements in efficiency, productivity and, of course, the passing of institutional knowledge and leadership skills from one generation to the next.

Mentoring is one of the oldest forms of influence and knowledge sharing. It started with the Ancient Greeks; Mentor was Odysseus’ trusted counselor and advisor. Mentoring is when one individual actively and willingly passes his/or knowledge and wisdom onto another person. A mentor is an individual—usually older, but always more experienced--who helps and guides another individual’s development. This guidance is done without the expectation of personal or monetary gain on the mentor’s part. Mentors can be friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers, supervisors, etc. There is no official title.

Mentoring vs. Coaching
Because both mentoring and coaching have become popular tools in the field of employee development, the two are often confused. While both utilize many of the same skills, being a mentor implies some specific organizational or industry knowledge that helps guide the protégé’s career. Coaching, on the other hand, is more about bringing an objective process to help someone articulate and achieve his goals.

In general, to be a coach, one does not need particular organizational or industry expertise and, in fact, most coaching is more about personal perspective and personal impact than specialized knowledge. Coaches are process experts. Mentors are task experts. Coaching is about skill development. Mentoring is about skill development AND specialized knowledge transfer. When done correctly, it’s a powerful double whammy.

Why mentoring is important
Mentoring is a tool that organizations can use to nurture and grow their people, and it’s gaining in popularity. As organizations strive to retain hard earned experience and wisdom, they are turning to mentoring programs as a form of interpersonal knowledge management. Protégés observe, question and explore, while mentors demonstrate, explain and model.

I know that coaching is big thing in organizations today. While coaching can definitely help individuals become better leaders and managers, it doesn’t really tap into the collective wisdom of people who have succeeded inside specific organizations or industries. Mentoring, on the other hand, can help employees navigate organizational culture, solve problems and advance their careers. Mentoring is a great way to make sure the talent pipeline is filled with people ready to manage and lead.

Additionally, organizations are using mentoring as a way to retain and recruit talent. As the latest generation, the Millennials, hit the workforce in huge numbers, mentoring has become a key tool for both recruiting and retention.

What makes a good mentor?
A good mentor needs to be more than just a successful individual. A good mentor must also have the disposition and desire to develop other people. Great mentors must be able to both “talk the talk” and “walk the walk.”

Being a good mentor requires more than just experience. It requires a willingness to reflect and share on one’s own experiences, including one’s failures. Great mentors are often those who are constantly trying to learn themselves. Essential qualities for an effective mentor include:

A desire to develop and help others. A good mentor has to be sincerely interested in helping someone else without any “official” reward. Good mentors do it because they genuinely want to see someone else succeed.
Commitment, time and energy to devote to the mentoring relationship.
Current and relevant knowledge, expertise, and/or skills.
A willingness to share failures and personal experiences. Mentors need to share both their "how to do it right" and their "how I did it wrong" stories. Both experiences provide valuable opportunities for learning.
A learning attitude. The best teachers have always been and always will be those who remain curious about learning. Because a mentor is more like a teacher than a coach, this becomes an important characteristic in a mentor. Would you rather be advised by someone whose mind is shut (because he knows all) or by someone whose mind is open because he is always looking to deepen his knowledge?
A skill in developing others. This includes the very real skills of listening, asking powerful questions and being able to tell stories, which includes personal anecdotes, case examples and honest insight.

What makes a good protégée?
Just as there are specific characteristics of a successful mentor, there are attributes for a good protégé. And this is important, because protégée’s must remember that mentors are doing this from the goodness of their heart, so being a good protégée is the best way to ensure the relationship enjoys a healthy purposeful existence.
Protégée’s need to be:

Committed to expanding their capabilities and focused on achieving professional results.
Willing to ask for help.
Open and receptive to learning and trying new ideas.
Able to accept feedback—even constructive criticism—and act upon it.
Willing to experiment and apply what they learn back on the job.
Able to communicate and work cooperatively with others.
Be personally responsible and accountable.
Ready, willing and able to meet on a regular basis.

How to make it a success
Mentoring is a joint venture. Successful mentoring requires that both parties share responsibility for learning and sustaining the relationship.
Successful mentoring begins with initiating the relationship, and then, to steal a coaching term, “designing the alliance.” This means all parties need to be clear about what this relationship is going to look like and how it will be managed. Mentor and protégée should discuss things like:

Contact and response times
Meetings
Confidentiality
Focus
Feedback
Goals and accountability

Very often, in a formal mentoring relationship, your mentor may not be your supervisor or even in the same chain of command. But this doesn’t have to pose a conflict, as long as it is clear what the difference is. The manager's role in employee development is always paramount and should not be replaced or modified by an employee's participation in a mentoring program. Mentoring is an additional and supplemental development tool for organizations, while a managers’ essential role is to support the professional learning process while also monitoring an employee’s performance.

Managers fulfill a stewardship role in terms of day-to-day direct authority and capacity building, while mentors provide a broader and longer view that creates a path to the future. Strong managers, however, will take an active interest in the mentoring process through endorsing experimentation in a way that applauds new approaches and permits the possibility of mistakes. Good managers will also support and design learning assignments in partnership with the mentor and protégé.

If enrolled in a formal mentoring relationship, it is always a good idea to respect the differences between a supervisor and a mentor and to openly discuss potential pitfalls.

How to find a mentor
There are lots of ways to find a mentor. Check with your company first; they may have a program or an organization in mind. You can also check out professional trade associations and groups like SCORE, the Service Corps of Retired Executives.

The best place to look for a mentor, however, is right in front of you. Look around your workplace or your industry. Who do you admire and respect? Who has always impressed you with their insight and perceptiveness? And finally, who do you feel drawn to?

Consider your boss. Or your boss’s boss. Consider executives in other divisions. Consider older individuals who may not be top executives but who have tons of experience. Approach that individual and ask if they would consider being your mentor. Let them know why you selected them and what you hope to learn from them. It is really key to align your goals with their expertise and experience. Be prepared to talk about what the relationship might look like and how much time might be involved. There is a big difference between meeting someone for lunch on a quarterly basis versus a weekly phone call. Be clear what you want out of the mentoring process and structure your relationship accordingly.

Don't put it off. What can you lose? Even if they decline to be your mentor, and few will, they will be flattered that you asked.

How companies can start a mentoring program
Finally, if you or your company is interested in instituting a formal mentoring program, it is important to, yes, find a mentor for the process. Research other programs, talk to other executives and find the one that fits your company.

When you have your program in place, remember to be flexible and inclusive when matching the mentor and protégée. The right mentor may not always be the first person you think of. It is also important to ensure that participants really want to do this! It can’t be a “box” they check off; they have to have a genuine interest (and the aforementioned skill set) to participate.

You should also provide some skill building and structure, especially in the introductory phase. And be prepared to support the program with best practices. Finally, don’t forget to evaluate the program and incorporate the feedback. You want the program to be successful and worthwhile, so it needs to be given careful time and attention.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: The Danger of Workplace Gossip

2007-09-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

The Danger of Workplace Gossip

It seems so harmless. The little chitchat at the water cooler about so and so. The debate over someone’s relationship with someone else. The speculation about so and so. Is it chitchat or is it gossip? How can you tell the difference? And who cares?
There is a very big difference, and it is an important one, because gossip run amok can be dangerous and destructive in a workplace. First, while light conversation can be value neutral, gossip is often negative, inflammatory and embarrassing to the person being spoken of. So how does one tell the difference between idle chatter or gossip? Here is a test: Consider the impact of what is being said. Does it cast negative aspersions? Does it create rifts? Does it exult in the misfortune of others? Does it have a negative emotional charge? Does it serve to perpetuate conflict or negativity? Is it hurtful or damaging? Is it something you would say in front of that person?

Technically, any sharing of trivial or unsubstantiated information can be considered gossip. But you have to consider the sentiment. For example, if it were rumored that a co-worker is being promoted, and you discuss it with a co-worker, is that gossip? If the discussion is hurtful or damaging or negative, then yes, it is gossip. But if it’s value neutral then it’s not. If the story is told with negativity and without good will, then it is gossip.

Why gossip hurts
Gossip can have many adverse side effects on an organization. It can increase conflict and decrease morale. It results in strained relationships. Gossip breaks down the trust level within the group, which results in employees second-guessing each other and ultimately running to the supervisor to clarify the directions or instructions, or to settle the differences that will arise. Gossip is the death of teamwork as the group breaks up into cliques and employees start refusing to work with others.
Gossip results in the supervisor spending an enormous amount of time trying to figure out who said what to whom. Or, worse yet, the supervisor struggles to explain to the manager that the on-going conflicts and communication problems within the workgroup are the reason work doesn't get done only to hear the manager comment, "Why can't you manage your team better?" Productivity is lost, as are good employees who do not want to work in that toxic environment.

Breaking the gossip cycle
Let’s say you are not a gossiper. You simply listen to your co-workers so as not be rude. You’ve been taught to be a team player right? But here’s the thing that most people don’t realize—as a listener, you are a co-narrator to the gossip. In other words, the act of active listening actually supports and promotes gossiping. The more you listen, the more you encourage it. If you don’t listen, the gossip has nowhere to do. Think about the last time you told a story to someone who was clearly not interested. The story probably withered on the vine.
Here’s how to get out of the gossip pipeline:

Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you're preoccupied with your work, you can't be available to listen to their latest story.
Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don't pass it any further. Take personal responsibility to act with integrity.
Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn't nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it's spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked
Avoid the gossiper. If you notice one person who consistently makes trouble, take the necessary actions to have as little interaction with that person as possible. Avoid him/her.
Keep your private life private. Don't trust personal information with coworkers. Remember, if they are gossiping about others, they will gossip about you, too. Don't give them ammunition.
Choose your friends wisely at work. You spend a good deal of time at work so it's natural for friendships to develop. Share information sparingly until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust. Also, close association with gossipers will give the perception that you are a gossiper.
Be direct. If you confront the gossiper and confidently tell him or her that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers, it's likely to stop.
Don't be afraid to go to a superior. Gossiping wastes a lot of company time and hurts morale. A company interested in a healthy work environment will value the opportunity to correct this type of situation.

If you are the target of gossip you have two choices. You can confront the source or make a public statement. Thankfully, gossip has a very short life span. Sometimes, the best thing to do is let it run its (hopefully) short course. Creating a stink sometimes causes more drama than just letting it go.

What the employer can do
Gossip is as old as mankind. It is unrealistic to think we could free the workplace of gossip. It’s also conducted through the free will of employees, and regulating that is very difficult without creating a big brother climate. That being said, there are some things that employers can do to minimize negative gossiping and rumormonger:

Communicate regularly and consistently with employees about what's going on in the workplace. Regular communication minimizes the influence and need for gossip, because everyone is "in-the-know." If employees don't have good information from the supervisor about what is going on, they will make it up in the form of speculation and gossip. Consistent and authentic communication will work wonders in stopping the gossip.
Discourage gossip in official company policy. Include a section that deals with gossip in the company handbook. Convey to your employees that such talk is injurious to morale and productivity and will not be tolerated. Ask them not to participate and not to tolerate it from others.
Nip it in the bud. If an employee comes to you complaining of gossip, or if you know an employee to be a gossip, be proactive. Tell the offender that you are aware of his behavior. Describe how his behavior results in others not trusting them. For some, this single statement will be a realization that will result in immediate change. Furthermore, incorporate the impact the gossiping employee's behavior has had on the workplace in his/her performance evaluations. This should be incentive to stop the behavior.
Incorporate employee driven group discussions and expectations about gossiping. This gives permission to coworkers to hold each other mutually accountable for having a "gossip-free" workplace.
As a supervisor or manager—do not engage in gossip yourself. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

2007-08-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

Successful Transitions 3: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 3: Achieving Workplace Success 101

The Radio Show Recap...

In our third segment of Successful Transitions, O’Keyla Smith and I discussed the essential skills young people need to acquire in order to find success in the workplace. The workplace can be a strange new world for many of young adults and learning the ropes early on can really help accelerate career advancement.

O’Keyla’s Question: Let’s talk about success. How is success in school different than success at work?

Achieving success at work is VERY different than achieving success at school! School may give you knowledge—but it doesn’t teach you the process of accomplishing work effectively in the “real world.” The culture, environment, value system, and framework of the working world is almost completely opposite than those of the school world. Many young people don’t fully appreciate the enormity of this paradigm shift. Remember, most college grads have spent 16 of their 22 years learning to succeed in a school system—so it is only natural that some young people have trouble adjusting—and may even resist the new environmental “rules.” Rethinking your approach to success after 16 years can be very difficult!

Just to give you and idea of the radical differences—let me outline a few of the areas that often trip young people up:

Performance Level: At school you get to choose your performance level—do you wan to work to be an A student, or are you happy being a C student? At work, you don’t get to choose—stellar performance is always expected.

Customer or Service Provider: At school, you are the customer. The school is there to serve you. At work, you are the service provider. You are there to serve and create results for the organization.

Personal Control: At school, you have enormous personal control over your time, schedule and choices. At work, you have very little personal control.

Relationship to Authority: In actuality, school has very little true authority over you. In fact, you are often rewarded for “disagreeing” with your professors or administration. This is not the case in most workplaces. Authority at work is much more rigid and established—with very little wiggle room if you don’t like what authority is saying or doing.

Decision Making: At school you make most of your own decisions. Additionally, many members of this new generation were actively involved in family decisions. At work, most new recruits are not involved in the company’s decision making process. And this feels very unfair to many young people.

Growth Timeline: At school you are given an explicit and specific rubric for success. You are told exactly what you need to do, when you need to do it and often how you need to do it in order to succeed. You know that if you accomplish your work within that rubric you will advance and succeed in a laid out timeline. Work couldn’t be more different! There is no such rubric for success at work. Very few organizations can (or will) lay out a bullet-proof schedule for advancement and promotion.

Meritocracy versus Social System: School, by and large, is a meritocracy. This means individuals who do well get rewarded—mainly for individual accomplishments. With the exception of the occasional group project—school rewards on individual accomplishment and merit. The workplace is quite the opposite. The workplace is a social system. This means that although individual effort is important, it is not the only factor—or even the most compelling factor—in succeeding. To succeed at work, you must learn how to work with, through, and sometimes around other people. Underestimating the power of the social conditions—and I’m talking organizational culture and politics—can be a serious success derailer.

O’Keyla’s Question: What do successful people at work do better than unsuccessful people?

Successful people know how to play the game. They understand how to get results through working with others. They know how to access their skills and talents and apply them effectively in a working environment. Essentially, they know who they are, they know how to work with others and they understand the nature of organizational life.

O’Keyla’s Question: What are the essential skills a young person needs to be successful in the workplace?

To put it broadly, young people need to focus on developing three “Success Intelligences” in the following three areas:

Individual Intelligence: Developing and managing self
Interpersonal Intelligence: Developing and managing collaborative relationships
Organizational Intelligence: Developing organizational savvy

It really takes all three to succeed. Developing these success intelligence begins with becoming self and environmentally aware.

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about Individual Intelligence. Can you provide some examples?

Individual Intelligence is about developing and managing self and attitude—this means knowing who you are and how your behaviors and actions impact those around you. I’m not talking here about hard or technical skills, I’m talking about intra-personal awareness—developing attitudes, behaviors and actions that are workplace effective and appropriate. For young people, the three biggest areas in which to concentrate are:

Attitudes: your attitudes and expectations must be aligned to the realities of a business environment.
Image: Young adults much develop and maintain a professional image at all times.
Impact: It is critical for young adults to understand the difference between intent and impact. Understanding and appreciating how your behaviors, actions, and attitudes impact other people is critical to achieving success. People don’t get promoted on intentions—they get promoted on impact.

O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often around individual skills and how can they correct them?

I see three big mistakes in this area:

The first one is attitude. This is employer’s number 1 complaint about young people in the workplace today. Young people often come into today’s workplace with attitudes and expectations that are wildly misaligned to reality. This generation has a bad rap for having an attitude of entitlement. Employers complain that they come into the workplace expecting way too much way too soon.

The second big mistake I see, which goes along with the first one, is that young people today have a hard time appreciating the value of “menial” labor. They don’t understand the importance of learning from the bottom up and they feel that grunt work is beneath them. The phrase “I didn’t go to college to make copies,” needs to be banned from their vocabulary. Menial tasks are a test—no one is going to trust you with a big project until they see how you perform with a small project. Stop resisting—do menial tasks with integrity and enthusiasm and soon you will be entrusted with more responsibility.

Finally, the last mistake I see most often, is that young adults continue acting and speaking like a college student far too long. In order to succeed in a professional setting—you need to behave like a professional. People need to see you as a professional.

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets move onto Interpersonal Intelligence. What are the key elements here? Is this just about getting along with others or is it something more?

Organizations are social networks so it is more than getting along with people—you have to achieve and produce results by working with, through, and sometimes around other people. You have to learn to engage others well! This means you not only have to be good at working with others, but you also have to be someone with whom others want to work! So the key element here is learning how to build and cultivate strong working relationships and networks.

The most important working relationship for new professionals is the one they have with their boss. Your boss is the most important person you have to work with. In the beginning, they hold a tremendous amount of power and influence over your career. Don’t resist this fact—accept it. Learn how to follow!!! Here are the key elements for succeeding with your boss:

Do the job you were hired to do
Know what really matters to your boss and give it to him/her
Learn your boss’ work style and adapt to it
Make your boss look good

O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often when dealing with other people?

I don’t think young people truly appreciate the social network aspect of work. They don’t take the time to really engage their fellow co-workers. They show up at work, listen to their i-pods, put in their 8 hours and then run back home to hang out with their friends. I would suggest, that young people put a little energy into networking and engaging with their co-workers both during work hours and after work hours. Get to know people throughout your office. Go to happy hours. Eat lunch with different people. Opportunities come through other people—the more people you know, the more opportunities will come your way.

O’Keyla’s Question: I’m curious about Organizational Intelligence. How are these skills different from the skills used at home, school or other “organizations?

This is about understanding the nature of organizational life—what makes organizations tick. Every organization has it’s own personality—or organizational culture, politics, structure, dynamics and hierarchies. Having strong Organizational Intelligence is about understanding how to navigate these dynamics. Young people need to learn and respect culture and politics—even if they don’t make sense. Getting results requires some level of adaptation—just as you wouldn’t waltz into a foreign country and flout their social norms—you need to show organizational culture the same respect. Besides, as a newbie you aren’t in a position to change culture, hierarchy or politics—so you are better off learning them and adapting to them.

O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often when navigating organizational life?

I see lots of young people not appreciating the power structure and hierarchy that is inherent in most companies. Before jumping in to debate decisions with your boss’s boss—take some time to learn how people negotiate decisions and share power. Most companies are not democracies—you can argue with your professor—but arguing with your boss takes skill and savvy. Organizational life will be full of decisions you won’t like and enough organizational annoyances and inefficiencies to drive you crazy. It is the nature of the beast. Learn to manage your frustrations. No organization is perfect. When groups of people work together—all kinds of “stuff” gets in the way. It is what makes the world so interesting! So adapt a long term perspective when dealing with organizational annoyances.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

2007-08-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Successful Transitions: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 2: How to Create A Professional Persona

The Radio Show Recap...

The skills needed to succeed in the workplace are very different from the skills needed for success at school. In order to help young adults survive and thrive in the workplace we created a three-part series of radio shows focused on making a successful transition from student to professional.

In this segment of “The Working Life,” O’Keyla Smith and I discussed the importance of developing an effective professional image. How does one shed the image of a college student and adopt the image of a young successful professional? We explored some of the key elements of presenting oneself with professionalism and confidence.

O’Keyla’s Question: So lets start by defining what we mean by a “professional persona”? What goes into creating a professional persona? Is it more than just clothes?

My Thoughts: Yes, a professional persona, or image, is more than just clothing—although attire is a large part of it. A professional persona is made up of these key elements:

Attire & clothing: How you look
Body Language: How you hold and present your physical self
Attitude & behavior: How you think and act
Conversation & language: How you communicate and engage others

Young people entering the workplace need to ensure all of these elements are working together to present a professional image. The more all these elements are in alignment with the image you are trying to create, the more people will see you as a competent and talented professional.

O’Keyla’s Question: Why is a professional persona so important? We’ve all been taught not to judge a book by its cover—so isn’t talent more important?

My Thoughts: A professional persona is important because it helps create opportunity. When you are new to the workforce—nobody knows you! Nobody knows your talents. Nobody knows your skills. So in order to get opportunity--you’ve got to build trust first! In fact, your biggest goal during your first year in a new job is to develop trust so that people will give you opportunities to showcase your talents.

A large part of building trust is looking the part—looking like you are a competent professional. Until people get to know you for your accomplishments, all they have to go on is how you present yourself. Remember business is a financial venture and a social venture. This means that your co-workers success is dependent on some degree to your ability to get the job done—and vice versa. People are more likely to trust someone who looks trustworthy. And the person who looks like they belong in the game has an upper hand.

Don’t forget—opportunities are lurking behind every corner—so it is more than just proving your talents to your immediate supervisor. A strong professional persona will also help you develop a positive reputation throughout the entire company.

O’Keyla’s Question: So this goes into first impressions—how long does someone have to create a positive impression and how do they ensure that they make one?

My Thoughts: People form first impressions in three seconds! That’s right. In 3 seconds, people make up their mind about you and once that impression is formed, it is very difficult to change. A lot happens in those three seconds. They are forming judgments about your competence, your personality, and your values. They are also forming judgments on your “status.” In a business setting, they are deciding if you are potentially on the same business status, a higher status, or a lower status than they. If they deem you to be equal or higher status then it will be easier for them to accept you as a colleague and peer and you are on your way to creating a potentially useful business relationship. If you are deemed as “lower,” then they will keep you at arms length—never quite accepting you as a key player.

You decide how you want others to view you. I know, it seems unfair to “judge a book by its cover,” but the sooner you realize that this is reality—it is how people are naturally wired, the sooner you can use this reality to your advantage.

O’Keyla’s Question: What are some of the biggest mistakes you’ve seen people make?

My Thoughts: Where to start? The biggest mistakes I see (and the ones that employers complain about most often) are attitudes. Many young people in the workplace just have misaligned attitudes and expectations.

O’Keyla’s Question: So what kinds of attitudes create positive professional personae?

My Thoughts: Ahhh, great question! Young people need to exhibit attitudes that reflect service and results. In college, young adults are consumers or customers—in the workplace they are service providers, so their attitudes need to reflect that. Positive professional attitudes project a willingness to get results by working effectively with others. Here are 5 essential attitudes that will help young people succeed:

Humility: In the workplace, the world no longer revolves around you. Learn to put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
Respect: You must respect the experience, history, values, and traditions of the organization that you have joined. You must also display respect to your colleagues—so learn about their values and experiences. And remember, respect looks different to different people—so learn how respect is shown in your organization and adapt to those norms.
Confidence (not arrogance): It is good to be confident—which means having faith in your ability to get the job done. It is wrong to be arrogant—which means you think you are better than others or that work is beneath you. Nothing is beneath a confident person. Everything is beneath an arrogant person.
Interest and readiness to learn (from the bottom up): Employers want employees who are eager and ready to learn. Learning in the workplace often takes the form of doing “menial” or “mundane” tasks. Do not cop an attitude when assigned these tasks. They are more than “paying dues,” they are an integral part of work production and they are an opportunity to really learn the business. Take that opportunity!
Gratitude: Learn to say thank you—sincerely and often. The simple act of thanking others will set you apart as a consummate professional. It will also help you quickly build strong professional relationships.

O’Keyla’s Question: How can body language create a professional persona? Does this mean I have to walk around acting uptight?

My Thoughts: Not unless you work for a bank! Okay, I’m kidding (kind of). Creating a professional persona through body language means: Carrying yourself confidently. Making eye contact when speaking with colleagues. Always giving a firm handshake. Making sure you sit and stand up straight. Squaring your body directly toward others when engaging—as opposed to using closed off/turned away body language. Remember, your body language has to inspire trust (business is a financial venture) and approachability (business is conducted through social networks). And don’t forget little things like smiling and saying hello to people go a long way in establishing trust and goodwill with colleagues!

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about how young adults can converse and engage people more professionally. Is there a particular communication style that we should adopt? Or is it just a matter of losing the slang?

My Thoughts: To a large part it is about losing the slang. You have to stop talking and acting like a college student and start talking like a professional. This means lose words like “dude” and “like” when in the workplace. Your goal is to get others to see you as a professional—so the more that you speak like a student, the longer they will think of you as inexperienced. Even if your 40-something boss uses the word “dude,” resist the urge to do it yourself. It will come across as (at best) ironic when your boss uses it (or more likely pathetic) but when you use it, it will come across simply as immature.

Another part of conversing and engaging like a professional is learning proper workplace etiquette around phone skills and conversation skills. Learn what is appropriate conversation and what isn’t for your workplace. Understand that every time you open your mouth—you are either adding or detracting from your professional persona.

O’Keyla’s Question: We’ve all heard about “dress for success,” but I’m curious how that really works in today’s world. How should young people dress in today’s workplace?

My Thoughts: First and foremost: if you are a young person, dress better than you have to. The old adage still rings true: “Dress for the job you want not the job you have!” Exactly what you should wear depends largely on your profession and/or industry. You will want to dress appropriately for the culture of your organization and your profession. Bankers, for example, tend to be much more conservative than advertising professionals. So look around your organization—who is really successful? Who do you admire? How do they dress? What do their clothes say about them? What do you want your clothes to say about you?

A key element that young folk often forget is that you have to make it easy for other people to picture you in a better position! The more professional you dress, the easier it will be for others to imagine you in a better, more respected position—which means the easier it is for them to offer you opportunities.

O’Keyla’s Question: Any other tips for young adults just entering the workforce? What other habits or behaviors do you see that detract from a young person’s professionalism?

My Thoughts: Of course I have more tips! Here are a few more things that I think will help create a positive professional image:

Clean up your E-Life. Beware what you put on your blogs, social networking sites, etc. Although, your employer doesn’t “own” your personal time, you don’t want to sabotage your well-crafted professional image by displaying drunk pictures of your “walks of shame.”
Have virtual integrity: Your employer does actually “own” your time at work and your computer. Be careful of work time email, Internet surfing, etc. Your employer may be watching your virtual work life. Also be careful what you say about your organization on company email…
Learn to write—too much texting has ruined many a young person’s ability to correspond professionally.
Pay attention in meetings: Just because your boss checks his Blackberry during meetings doesn’t mean you can text your friends—he will come across as rude—but with some sort of legitimacy—you’ll just come across as spoiled and unprofessional.
Understand the Art of Being New: It takes time to build trust and acceptance. Make sure your professional image works to help get you accepted!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

2007-08-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

Successful Transitions: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 1: Interview Tips for College Grads

The Radio Show Recap...

Summer is here which means the Washington Metro area is crawling with recent college graduates who are making the transition from student to professional. The skills needed for success in the workplace are very different from the skills needed for success at school. In order to help young adults survive and thrive in the workplace we dedicated a few shows to learning what it takes to make a successful student to professional transition.

In this segment of “The Working Life,” O'Keyla Smith and I discussed how recent college graduates can ace a job interview and make a great impression on potential employers.

O’Keyla’s Question: Interviewing can be really scary and nerve wracking! What do young people need to understand about the interviewing process? Are employers looking for certain qualities?

My Thoughts: Yes they are! It is really important for young people to understand what employers are looking for. Employers don’t actually expect you to have a whole of technical skills or experience—they expect you to have some—but what they are really looking for are your personal and transferable skills. In other words—what kind of employee you are going to be? Employers are looking for young people with strong communication and teamwork skills. They want employees who have a readiness to learn, and who are reliable and responsible. In survey after survey, employers rate following list of skills and traits as being the most important:
• Communication & interpersonal skills
• Honesty and integrity
• Teamwork skills
• Reliable, responsible, and mature
• Strong work ethic
• Motivated and flexible
• Analytical skills
• Computer skills
• Organizational skills

In short, employers want to know who you are as a person. They want to know if you’ve got what it takes to succeed in their organization. They are prepared to teach you the technical skills—provided you can prove yourself worthy of their investment.

O’Keyla’s Question: What kind of preparation should young people do before an interview? What mistakes do you see young adults make?

My Thoughts: The mistakes I most often see young people make is not taking the time to properly research the organization before the interview. Prepping before an interview is absolutely essential to differentiating yourself. Thanks to Google and the Internet, researching the company is easy and quick. There are 4 areas you should research before an interview—and you really do need to cover all of them:

The company/organization. You need to know the company’s products, services, markets, etc. Be familiar with their history, their structure, management, recent trends, growth areas, stock price, etc. What are their key business challenges? What is their culture like? What kind of people do they hire?
The Job. As much as possible find out about the job itself: What are the general responsibilities? Deliverables? Reporting structure? Find out as much as you can beforehand so your questions during the interview will be smarter and more targeted.
Learn about the interviewer. Find out who will be conducting your interview ahead of time. If possible, learn about his/her background and career progressions. A key element of succeeding in a job interview is building rapport with the interviewer. So it helps to find out about him/her if you can.
Be up to date on the industry. At the job interview you should be able to discuss industry trends and challenges, etc. What is happening in the industry? Being able to intelligently discuss trends and challenges will truly set you apart and make you stand out.

Remember—you are more than a candidate for a job—you are a potential problem solver and contributor! So the smarter and more knowledgeable you are about the business and the company, the more you’ll impress.

O’Keyla’s Question: For people who have never been on an interview, what should they expect to happen?

My Thoughts: Expect to be judged and evaluated! Interviewing is about marketing yourself effectively to a potential employer. Here is what the interviewer wants to know:

Do you have what it takes to succeed in the job?
Will you fit in the organization?
Do you understand the company and its purpose/goals/challenges?
How do you compare to your competition?
Do you want the job?

So to succeed in an interview, you need to understand how your responses will be evaluated based on the above questions. Everything you say must assure the interviewer that you’ve got what it takes.

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about the interview itself. Are there common questions that interviewers ask? Can you give some examples of how to answer these questions?

My Thoughts: A quick Internet search will quickly provide you with a plethora of resources that outline typical interview questions. The key here is to PRACTICE standard interview questions before going into an interview. Practice your answers out loud—you might even consider taping them to get a better sense of how you sound. Employ the “2-Minute Rule.” Meaning that it should never take you more than 2 minutes to answer any question. You’ll need to be able to answers questions about: previous jobs and experiences, skills, talents, and ambitions. Learn how to answer behavioral interview questions. Be succinct and to the point. Don’t ramble. Answer the question asked as thoughtfully and succinctly as possible.

And don’t forget to have a great answer prepared for when the interviewer says, “Tell me about yourself.” This is often the first question asked and if you answer it well, you’ll get your interview off to a great start.

O’Keyla’s Question: Let’s talk about image and dress. How do you know what to wear? How does one create a professional persona?

My Thoughts: This is a critical aspect of the interviewing process. First of all, you have to look like you belong in the game—you have to dress the part. The business world is a financial venture conducted through a social system. This means that your image has to both inspires trust and confidence and one that matches the culture or the industry or organization. Dressing for the interview is not about standing out as a unique individual—it is about appearing to belong in a particular culture—a business culture. Dress for the career you want—not for the career you are leaving. Match your dress and image to the profession or business in which you want to succeed in. Dress better than you have to. When you make an effort to look the part—you broadcast to the world that you take yourself seriously and the job seriously.

O’Keyla’s Question: What about body language? They say the 70% of communication is non-verbal. What are some of the do’s and don’ts?

My Thoughts: People form a first impression in 3 seconds. Since most of us can’t even say hello in 3 seconds, a first impression is formed largely on body language and attire. Your body language has to communicate confidence, trustworthiness, and maturity. Some simple do’s and don’ts:
DO
• Good straight posture (both standing and sitting)
• Open body language
• Smiling
• Eye contact
• Firm handshake

DON'T
• Slouch or slump
• Fidget
• Tap foot, twirl hair, touch face or other nervous tics
• Avoid eye contact/look away
• Stuff hands in pockets
• Close body language (fold arms, clench fists, etc.)

O’Keyla’s Question: What about follow-up after the interview? Is e-mail okay or does it have to be handwritten?

My Thoughts: It is very important to have a clear follow-up process. This will depend on the timing of the recruitment process. If you are one of the first to interview—then you may be looking at a longer turnaround time. During the interview, ask the interviewer (or recruiter) where they are in their interviewing/hiring process. Ask about the decision-making process and timeline. Most interviewers should be able to give you some idea about when you might expect to hear something. Let them guide you into an appropriate follow-up process. Don’t be afraid to ask! It is a completely legitimate and mature question. They will actually appreciate your taking responsibility by asking.

As for thank you notes, I’m old school. I think the handwritten note (on excellent card stock) makes you stand out. And besides, it is just classier.

O’Keyla’s Question: Any other tips?

My Thoughts: Don’t be late for the interview. If you are going to be late—you better call with a really great excuse. Being late is a pretty big hurdle to overcome—so do everything you can to ensure you arrive on time.

Be nice to everyone you meet on site—and I mean everyone. Some organizations incorporate the impressions of other employees (like the receptionist and security guard) when evaluating a candidate. Smile and say hello to all you encounter!

Also, watch your cell phone calls! Don’t talk about your interview or the company anywhere nears the interview site! You never know who is walking behind you up the steps…

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

2007-06-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Acing the Interview
How to make every interview experience a winner
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay gives the lowdown on how to ace interviews each and every time. By spending some time preparing properly--everyone can ace their interviews. The following article summarizes the key elements you need to know.

We all know that not every job interview, even a great one, results in getting a job offer. But sometimes a good interview can lead to an offer in another department, or a referral to another company or organization, so whether you get that job or not, the interview is the most crucial and memorable factor.

Prepare thyself
Preparing for the interview is key and there are four categories to cover.

Know the company. This is the best place to start. You’ve got to know the company, their products, services, markets, etc. You should research their history, structure, management, recent trends, growth areas, stock price, etc. Read papers and magazines, search on-line. What are their key challenges? What is their culture like? What kind of people do they hire? Do you know anyone who works there? If so, talk to them. Brush up on who the company is and what they do. Interviewers are impressed with breadth of knowledge about their company, especially if it is relevant and timely. Read the trades and try to talk intelligently about a new product or service. Show that you follow the industry and the company.
Know the job. What is it, what are the general responsibilities? Who will you report to? What are the expectations and daily responsibilities? Many of these will be answered in the interview itself, but it important to know what it is you are interviewing for, that way you can bring to bear your relevant experience. Find out as much as you can beforehand so your questions will be smarter and more targeted.
Learn about the interviewer. A key element to a successful job interview is building a good rapport with the interviewer. So it helps to find out about him or her if you can. This is easy through Internet searches, trade publications, etc. Learn about the background and career progressions of the interviewer, so that you can understand who they are and where they are coming from. You might also discover some common ground, like a shared alma mater or a shared love of rock climbing. You can also flatter the interviewer by pointing out a career milestone or particularly impressive initiative. Just don’t come across as smarmy. Sincerity will always win out. Remember, the interviewer is the gatekeeper here, so play your hand well.
Be up to date on the industry and the profession. At the job interview you should be able to discuss industry and professional trends. You should know where that company and others like it are headed. You should know the challenges and trends for that career and in that industry. Being able to intelligently discuss trends and challenges will set you apart. Remember, you are more than a candidate for a job; you are a potential problem solver and contributor to that organization.

Staying calm
You’re prepped and ready. You are brushed and polished and armed with facts and figures and impressive statistics. You’re also sitting in the waiting room sweating bullets. Relax. Easier said than done, right? Actually, there are lots of techniques you can use to stay calm.

The first is to make sure you are thoroughly prepared. By now, you should have practiced your answers, out loud. This helps you develop “muscle memory.” Literally talk yourself through the interview. Verbalize what you are going to say ahead of time. You’ll be amazed at much this will help relax you.

Second, visualize yourself doing well in the interview before the interview. See yourself talking confidently and easily. See yourself answering the questions thoughtfully and intelligently. See the interview going smoothly. Almost everyone at the top of their game, from professional athletes to actors, uses visualization techniques to achieve very real success. It works.

Next, remember to breathe. Taking long slow breaths is really the best and most proven way to relax your body and your mind. Inhale slowly counting to six. Start low in your belly and inhale up through your chest. Hold it briefly and exhale slowly, counting to six. Feel the oxygen course through your stressed out body. This will help lower your heart rate and calm you.
And keep a hankie ready if you get sweaty palms. No one likes a wet handshake.

Body language
A picture speaks a thousand words, and so does your outfit. Dressing appropriately is imperative. A first impression is made in the first three seconds—make sure yours is one of a confident and competent professional. For men, this means a dark suit and tie. For ladies, a conservative suit and blouse or shirt. Your outfit should convey confidence and good taste, but it is you who should stand out, not your loud tie or low cleavage

When you meet the interviewer offer a firm handshake. Make eye contact and thank them right off the bat for meeting with you. Wait for the interviewer to invite you to sit down. Then, be aware of your body language. You want to project open, relaxed and confident body language. Sit up straight. Make eye contact. Don’t fidget. Look the interviewer in the eye. Smile. Don’t cross your arms, don’t touch your face or hair nervously, don’t jiggle your legs or feet and don’t stuff your hands in your pocket or sit on them. You want to project confidence.

When responding to a question, speak directly to the person who asked it. Don’t look around the room. Listen carefully to the questions—your interviewer is giving you important clues—make sure you answer the questions asked.

Don’t talk too much. This is a fatal error many people make. Rambling on during your interview is a sure sign of weakness. Practicing beforehand, out loud, will help you give a complete answer without the extra baggage

Don’t be too familiar with the interviewer. Be friendly, but professional. Be energetic but not overly familiar. Do not overreach your position as candidate.

Don’t be arrogant. Learn the difference between confidence and arrogance and practice it.
Familiarize yourself with behavioral interviewing techniques where you use your past experiences and behaviors as an indicator of your future success. In other words, if you can demonstrate through examples that you accomplished something before, the interviewer may have the tendency to believe you may do it again. Be prepared to succinctly talk about past successes with concrete examples. Again, practice.

What do they want?
Obviously, they want something. They want a position filled, sure, but they really want a problem solved. Here is what the interviewer wants to know:

Do you have the skills for the job?
Are you motivated and enthusiastic?
Are you willing to learn?
Can you take initiative and problem solve?
Will you fit in the organization?
Do you understand the company and its purpose, goals and challenges?
How do you compare to your competition?
Do you want the job?

You should also have some questions for the interviewer. Many will probably be answered in the course of discussing the job, but this is also where listening well during the interview comes into play. The best questions come from listening to what is asked during the interview and asking for additional information. Other areas for questions should be around what is important to you as a potential employee—remember, you are interviewing them as well.

Some questions you may want to ask the interviewer:

What do you see as the biggest challenges goals in the next 24 months? (For the job and the organization)
What kind of person succeeds in this organization?
Where are you in the interview process and how should I follow-up after the interview?
How and when will you be notified about the position?

The follow-up
The first thing to do when the interview is over is go home and write a hand written thank-you note. The note should be written to the person with whom you interviewed (and make sure you have their name and address correct). The note should be on good paper and should be just a few lines long. It should thank them for their time and the opportunity to interview for the position, convey that you are excited about the prospect of working for that company and that you look forward to hearing from them soon. In this day and age, it is perfectly acceptable to send an immediate thank you via e-mail, but it should always be followed up by a hand written note.

In truth, the most agonizing part of an interview is the wait. Employers are notoriously bad about letting you know if you didn’t get the job. And by the way, if you are an employer, I need to remind you that it is totally unacceptable to invite someone to interview at your organization and then leave them hanging for long periods of time. You have a responsibility to the reputation of your organization to treat candidates with respect and courtesy. That said, as the interviewee there are a few things you can do to speed this along.

First of all, you should ask the interviewer or recruiter where they are in the interviewing/hiring process. It could be that they have structured a three-month window to interview for the position and you may have come in at the very beginning. If this is the case, you may be in for a long wait based on their time line. It is important to find this out when you interview so that you don’t spend months agonizing.

No matter what, get a date by which you expect to hear something. Then, follow up once or twice, no more, if you haven’t heard by the promised day. Of course, these dates may change if there is a second or third interview process. Just remember, there is a fine line between an appropriate follow-up and being a pest. The stronger a candidate you are, the more likely your call, note or e-mail will be received courteously. But unless invited to do so, don’t follow-up more than once a week.

What if you don’t get it?
If you didn’t get the job, it is perfectly okay to request feedback. Don’t push too hard, just ask politely who they hired and why. You want to find out what qualities or qualifications you lacked, what you could work toward. You don’t want to put them on the spot or make them feel bad. And you certainly don’t want to be confrontational or argumentative, so be sure to be courteous and respectful. Say, “Thank you for the opportunity. May I ask what things I might work on to be better prepared for a position like this?” Or “What experience or qualities did the person you hired possess that were lacking in my application?” Try to keep it positive and friendly. You can ask for feedback but very often people will not give it. But if you have built a strong rapport with the interviewer or recruiter and are courteous you stand a better chance of having your questions answered.

Remember, even if you didn’t get that job, if you have built a good rapport with the interviewer or recruiter they will remember you for another position or refer you to another department or organization. You can leverage that interview process into another job or networking resource if your behavior was professional and courteous. They will remember how you acted, how you dressed, whether you were prepared, the language you used, whether you followed up with a thank you note, whether you were gracious after not getting that job. If you handled it correctly, that relationship, even if it didn’t yield a job that time, can lead to one in the future.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T06:44:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: College Grads
Your Prescription for Success
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay outlines the basic building blocks for a successful post-college career launch. The following article summarizes the key elements for initiating an effective job search.

Congratulations and Good Luck!
Whether you’ve graduated from college or about to, congratulations. You’ve completed one major phase of your life and are about to begin another. Now, the hard work of getting into the working world begins. College life has changed dramatically in the past 10-20 years, and the pressure starts earlier than ever for graduating seniors to find a job and start their careers. Though there are many different areas to focus on, there is a simple prescription for a successful and smooth entry into the workforce.

The all-important resume
Resumes should tell a story about who you are and what your skills and talents are. Now, obviously, a 21-year old is not going to have the same resume as a seasoned veteran of the workforce. Employers know this, so don’t worry about impressive credentials. Just do the best you can with your experience so far and find things that highlight your strengths and applicable skills.

Most college seniors have had a few jobs and hopefully an internship or two. Any kind of job, internship, volunteer work or affiliation needs to go on your resume. If you were a lifeguard, put it on (that’s a position of great responsibility). If you worked in an ice-cream shop, put it on. If you babysat, put it on. Were you a member of a club, fraternity, sorority or sports team? Did you help with fundraisers or special events? Did you do volunteer work? Remember volunteering is work; it just isn’t paid. Volunteering also shows a level of social and community consciousness and commitment that many employers find valuable. It’s also good work experience.

The most important thing about “starter” jobs is to show that you were given responsibility. Did your manager give you tasks that reflected a level of responsibility, like locking up at night, opening in the morning, making deposits, running the register? Try to find those jobs or activities in which you were part of a team and helped lead it or had responsibility of some sort, however minor it may seem to you. Studies show that perceived leadership skills are as important in the hiring decision as your major, your alma mater, or your grade point average. Whatever you did or were involved in that reflects leadership and responsibility should go on your resume.

And don’t get fancy with your resume. Resumes should be simple, easily readable and written in a standard format. Don’t go over one page and don’t use fancy fonts or colored paper. Pink paper and unreadable type are annoying to an employer. You want to stand out because of who you are, not because your resume is kitschy. And always, always, spell check. Nothing sinks a candidate quicker than misspelling liaison.

What if you have nothing to put on your resume?
If you have absolutely no work experience (and remember volunteering is work), then you are going to have to talk about your academic achievements. Ironically, this is not optimal. Stellar academics are desirable, but employers are looking for leaders and marketable skills. But it is not the end of the world, depending on what kind of profession you are trying to enter. Try to convey your academic achievements in such a way as to be marketable to the employer. A high g.p.a. in and of itself doesn’t translate to being a good employee, unless you can draw the correlation between that success and employment success. In other words, did you work with a team, run a special project, assisst the professor, do independent research or study? Find something marketable about your academics and highlight that.

Internships and volunteer work are great for experience and are essential components of a resume. If you are a student or a graduate with no work experience, then you should really consider getting an internship, even an unpaid one. If you have to, you can always work nights while interning during the day. The same goes for volunteer work. Both look great on a resume and both can provide you with work skills. You’ve got to get some work experience--paid, unpaid, interning or volunteering. Just do it.

Using your college
You’ve paid a bundle for that education. The college knows this and wants you to be a successful alum. Almost every college has a career center and or an alumni network that you can use to your advantage. Though these services can be a mixed bag – some are much better and more serious than others – they are always worth checking out. Many offer job counseling, job fairs and internship programs. Some will set up real or practice interviews for you, help you with resume and hone your interview skills. Many offer personality and skills tests that can help you focus on your career choices.

You should definitely leverage the alumni relations department, especially at schools with a lot of school spirit. Most alumni who have taken the time to register with the career center are more than willing to help and will bend over backwards to help new graduates. Usually, these alumni are broken out by profession and can be counted on to provide information about a certain field, advice on getting into it and will review your resume. They may also off internships, informational interviews and invaluable contacts in your field. Don’t be shy here – this is called networking and it is one of the best ways to get a job.

Use your friends and professors, too. Does someone have a parent, sibling or associate in your field? Again, don’t be shy. This is what networking is all about.

Taking the summer off
Some people might argue that if you’re a graduating senior, this is the last summer of freedom, so why not just hang out, go to the beach, and have a few months of relaxation before hitting the job interview circuit in September? This is, of course, a personal choice. And while it may very well be true that this is your last summer of “freedom” you need to remember that there are millions of other graduates who may not be looking at it that way. Will all the good jobs be gone?

In order to decide, you have to look at the hiring cycle of your desired profession or industry. If you want to enter one that actively seeks college graduates, then taking the summer off may be a problem. In other professions, entry-level jobs may open up all the time, so taking one last summer off may not be a big deal.

One also has to weigh the fact that this is a huge generation, almost as big as the baby boomers, so while the economy is good and organizations are competing for top talent, one still has to recognize that this generation will face a lot of competition for the “good jobs,” no matter how much time you spend at the beach.

Helicopter parents
Let’s talk about mom and dad for a minute. A generation ago, parents were not involved in their children’s careers, academically or professionally. We all just got kicked out of the house after we graduated and found jobs. Now, however, parents are playing a huge role in their children’s lives, with many parents guiding and coaching their kids all the way through college and through their entry into the work force.
While some college graduates might actually enjoy their parents’ involvement, there is a point where a parent’s well-meaning but over eagerness to swoop in and manage their kids lives does more harm than good. This is called “helicopter parenting” and it can be very damaging.

The transition from student to professional is a huge one. It’s probably one of the biggest most people make. This transition is really about becoming a full-fledged adult. You stop being coddled and start being responsible for yourself. You start to really make your own choices, and if your parents are still heavily involved, you’re not really an adult, are you? If the goal here is to create responsible, independent, creative and resourceful adults, then parents have a fine line to walk here, in my opinion. They need to see that their children must make their own choices. You can help them be as ready and informed as possible, but they need to decide for themselves, even if it means making mistakes. After all, that’s part of being an adult.

Are you ready?
We hear the phrase “workforce readiness” quite a bit in the media, and the notion that what kids learn in high school and college doesn’t really prepare them for the workplace. Sadly, this is largely true and a rash of articles about how this generation is having trouble getting along in the workplace bolsters that view. For example, the Wall Street Journal recently reported that many managers are having to praise their new recruits more because they have grown up in a culture where everyone is a winner.

On the other hand, this is the most well educated and technically savvy generation ever. The balance that has to be struck is between technical and academic readiness, which they may have, and professional polish, which they may lack. It is not an insurmountable chasm. College graduates just need to know getting the job and succeeding in the job are two very different things.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Bad Apples:
Dealing with people who just don't get it
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Mary discussed how to recognize and deal with "bad apples" in organizational life. These folks can destroy organizational morale and productivity faster than you can say William Tell.

Every company, organization or department has at least one employee who doesn’t carry his or her weight, who is actively negative or who sabotages others’ work or performance. You know them: they are the bad apples, and there is one in every bunch. These are the people who don’t do their jobs properly or, conversely, they perform but are complete jerks in the process. They can be lazy, arrogant, mean, untrustworthy, backbiting, condescending, etc. And they can be found in all echelons of an organization.

Basically these are people who don’t respect the organization or their coworkers. Essentially they don’t live the “values” of the organization. And, while values differ from company to company, I’ve never seen “being a jerk” on any company’s value chart.

A bad apple can take a huge toll on a company. Someone who doesn’t carry his weight, is obnoxious, or just plain refuses to play by the rules is like a bad virus. Their attitude and behavior can infect a staff or organization. That, in turn, can affect company morale, trust and productivity. If not addressed your staff will quickly become resentful, jaded and unproductive. And the bottom line will suffer.

The problem is that many managers allow bad apples to fester. Remember—you get what you reward. And when you ignore bad behavior you are essentially rewarding it. By not confronting it and dealing with it, you send the message that it is acceptable. People aren’t stupid. They are going to notice.

In the public sector, government, for example, managers allow this to happen because it is the path of least resistance. Terminating someone is just so time consuming and fraught with potential legal actions that many managers believe it is simply easier to allow bad apples to sit there and rot away. The private sector is more likely to put up with bad behavior if the person is a producer—that is, someone who seemingly serves the bottom line, so his behavior is tolerated. I’m here to tell you that you need to come out from whichever curtain you are hiding behind, because these people are hurting your organization. Do the right thing – confront the situation and get rid of the bad apples.

What is and isn’t bad behavior
So what constitutes a bad apple? Is an occasional outburst or flare-up acceptable? Is bad language okay? How about being late? Each company has to decide what is and isn’t acceptable. You must look to your own corporate value system for the answers. If being late really doesn’t affect the work, then that might be tolerable. But if being punctual is an important part of the job, or if being late angers other co-workers and brings down morale, then it shouldn’t be tolerated.

As an employer, I have tolerated more than I should have at times, especially when the employee was particularly talented and very personable. But if it affected company morale or the bottom line, then the behavior had to stop. I would tolerate the lack of soft skills over hard skills, but there is always a line; the key is to identify it, and it’s different for every company.

How to cope with the bad apples
If the behavior is not so egregious that the person needs to be confronted or fired, then there are some basic coping skills co-workers and managers can employ.

Avoidance. Try not to interact with this person any more than necessary.
Humor. Try to look at this person as a funny/absurd/opportunity to tell stories. Not the most gracious approach, but sometimes if you can find the humor and the innocence in a situation, it can help you get through it (sexual harassment is not one of them).
Consider the political landscape. Is this person really connected? If so, the reality is that you may have to work a bit harder to find a way to deal with this person.
Empathy: Most jerks are jerks because there is something deficient about them. And that is kind of sad. Chances are they are jerks in their personal lives as well. Try to find that part of you that would befriend something that was wounded. Try to find some glimmer of humanity. Think Michael Scott from The Office.

When all else fails
Peers and co-workers can play a big role in turning the bad apple around. If the bad apple is a peer, and you feel comfortable doing so, find a way to address the problem tactfully but directly. Do it privately or in a very small, trusted group. Explain to the person what you see him doing and your concerns about it. Express that you want to see him succeed but that you are afraid his current behavior may not be the best way to reach his goals. If nothing happens and you continue to see the ill effects of this behavior, then you must send it up the chain. Find a trusted leader or manager and let them know what is happening. Be sure you can speak articulately and specifically about the impact of the bad apple’s behavior.

If you’re a manager or supervisor and one or more of your employees comes to you with complaints or feedback about a troublesome employee, and you know with certainty that the complaint is valid, you must take action immediately.

There are five steps to take:

Confront the person directly. Tell the person exactly what your concerns are with his behavior. Cite examples. Do not make it personal or single out who complained. Don’t say, “Carol complained about you.” Make sure you do your homework and use “I” or “We. Say: I am not happy with the way you are treating your co-workers.
Describe the impact of the behavior. Use specifics: “When you call your co-workers white trash losers you destroy our teamwork and morale,” or “When you don’t do your weekly reports it adds more work for the rest of your team.”
State the change you want to see. Again be specific. Link to corporate values. “I need you to stop that behavior immediately. You must treat co-workers with civility and respect.”
Be explicit about the ramifications. “If you continue with this behavior, you will be terminated. This is your one warning.”
Follow up. If the behavior is modified then make sure you acknowledge it. Remember, you get what you reward. If the behavior doesn’t change, then you must terminate.

A note about termination... The famous Jack Welch says if you terminate someone for not exhibiting corporate values then you should make that explicit when you speak of the termination. You don’t soft-pedal it by saying “Carol wanted to spend time with her family.” You say, “Carol was asked to leave because she was unable to be a good team player.”
When you get rid of a “bad apple” use it as an opportunity to teach and reinforce your corporate value system.

What if the jerk is you?
Yikes! What do you do if your supervisor has that talk with you? If you are the one with the bad attitude that your co-workers have been complaining about? What do you do? First of all, take a good deep breathe, because you’re going to need it. You have to look at this as an opportunity for growth. Chances are you’ve probably heard this feedback before, so take a good long look at yourself and try to accept the feedback. Make the choice to really look at how you currently operate. Ask your boss for a comprehensive 360 review, where you get feedback from all levels of the organization. This should be accompanied with a game plan for change and a follow-up schedule. You can also ask for a professional coach, who can be a very supportive neutral third party who can give you objective feedback as well as practical guidance in improving how you engage with others.

Above all, don’t spiral into self-loathing or denial. Remember, business is very much a social activity and your behavior may simply be a lack of basic social engagement skills. In many ways we are talking about emotional intelligence. The silver lining here is that with a little work and self-awareness, emotional intelligence and engagement skills can be learned. If you’re the bad apple, you don’t have to be tossed, you just have to accept the challenge to change.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T06:14:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: The Boss Hater:
How to recognize them and what to do about them!
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Mary discussed the negative effects "boss haters" can have on organizational life. Whether you work with a boss hater (as a boss or a peer) it is important to understand that their negativity can have very adverse consequences for productivity and team morale.

The boss-hater is as common in offices as the bad apple, and can be just as demoralizing and destabilizing to a productive organization. The boss-hater is the person who has never worked with someone they respect. They trash talk the boss and use lots of “you” and “they” statements. They often accuse the boss of nepotism, cronyism or favoritism. They are not team players, they complain a lot, they use loaded messages, and they fume or ramble on at meetings and never praise anyone’s work.

In essence, they use the language of blame where everything is the boss’ fault. They are blamers who have fallen into the “victim” role. Boss-haters often shy away from leadership and authority themselves, refusing to take responsibility for events or circumstances.

Sometimes a boss hater is just the person who is simply able to articulate that their boss is, in fact, an idiot, but more often, the boss-hater has a real and disruptive aversion to authority figures. Some people may an ideological problem with authority or with “the man” as they said in the 70’s. For these people, hating the boss is more about how their own perception of authority is related to their value system. Other boss haters have a deeper psychological and personal reaction to authority, power and success. For these people, the boss often represents something that the individual doesn’t have but wants: success, power, authority, control, visibility, respect.

The problem is that the boss-hater’s aversion and negativity becomes a problem for the team or organization. Psychological studies have shown that emotions can be contagious in working groups and organizations -- negative and positive emotions can spread like wildfire. Like the bad apple, a boss hater who spews negativity can actually infect other workers, bringing down morale and productivity and creating a negative work environment. Boss haters can have “sticky” personalities, the kind of people who are actually very influential among their co-workers.

What to do about the boss-hater
If you are a boss, a manager or a supervisor and you have a boss hater on your team you’ve got to confront the person. Meet with him or her and try to determine the source of the problem. Does this person dislike you or has he disliked all his bosses? Does he have a real beef or is he a chronic and ideological boss-hater? Either way, the negativity has to stop.

Discussing it will help you and the employee determine the real source of the problem and will help build a better and more constructive relationship. But if you can’t find a solution, then get rid of them. While I am a big fan of owning and solving a problem–I am also a big fan of getting rid of people who don’t or won’t work out. I can’t tell you how much dysfunction and pain I see in organizations that could have been avoided if people were able to make the tough personnel decisions earlier. Keeping an employee who is miserable is not doing anybody any favors. It’s not helping the employee, the team or the organization. It’s just brings everyone down.

What if the boss-hater is you?
We’ve all had jobs where we have worked for someone who was a jerk or totally inept, or both. A bad boss can make your work more difficult, to say the least. As an employee, you have three choices: Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept and adapt to the situation. But staying in the situation and being a trash-talking morale-lowering boss-hater is not an option.

If you are being labeled a boss-hater because of the way you talk and act, then you have to take a good hard look at how you are interacting with others and learn to make some adjustments. You can change the way you say things and the way you act. Boss-haters have to realize that their behavior and perspectives are creating more negative than positive results. And if you know a boss-hater, tell them. Help them see that there is a better way to engage in the workplace. You’ll do them a favor. But for the boss-hater, make the choice: stay, go or accept the situation, just stop bringing everyone else down. Your job is in jeopardy.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T05:28:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Performance Reviews:
Why they matter and how to make the most of them
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Mary discussed the pros and cons of performance reviews. Believe it or not, there are ways to make them useful (and developmental) for both the organization and the individual!

Love ‘em or hate ’em, whether giving one or getting one, a performance review is one of the most important tools managers and employees have to gauge and improve performance in the workplace. Employee reviews provide a record of employee performance vis-à-vis company expectations and, ideally, that review should be used to help the employee develop and grow professionally. When done right, with the proper dialogue, feedback and follow-through, a performance review can be an effective way to measure performance, articulate company expectations and formulate a game plan for results.

When Should It Be Done?
Traditionally, employee reviews are done on a yearly basis. But I find a strict annual format limiting in its ability to promote effective employee development. Annual reviews are not nearly as productive as a more frequent system of, say, quarterly reviews. A quarterly review has several advantages. First, it can be a less formal scenario, which can lead to a more honest and productive session. Let’s face it -- most people approach their annual review with dread. And if you dread something and view it as onerous, chances are you won’t do as well and the review is less likely to be a successful and productive experience.

Second, and most important, a frequent review system is a much more productive and efficient way to evaluate performance. Why would you wait a whole year to tell an employee what they are doing well and what areas in which they need to improve? Why wait a whole year to get their feedback? Trying to cram an entire year’s worth of information and feedback into one review is too time-consuming. Quarterly reviews allow the information to be anchored in a more relevant and timely fashion. If the goal of the review is to improve productivity and help both the employee and the company develop professionally, then those reviews should be done in an efficient and timely manner and in the most productive way possible.

The Manager’s Mini-Review
Managers wear multiple hats in an organization, but I think their most important role is to build strong teams with the best employees for those jobs. Unfortunately, there is so much emphasis on leadership these days that organizations are forgetting to teach their managers how to manage their most important resource of all, their human capital. Managing people, as distinct from leading people, is actually the most important part of a manager’s job, and yet this skill is often neglected, so performance reviews are often done poorly.

An easy way to get in the habit of reviewing your employees is to institute quick reviews after the completion of a project – an After Action Review in the lingo of the armed forces. An AAR is a great way to start a dialogue, get feedback and get results. And it’s really simple: after a project, sit down with the team right away for 15 to 30 minutes and have a review session.

Ask your team members:

What went well?
What didn’t go well?
What could we do differently next time?
What could the team do more of/less of?

Have each team member talk about his performance. The immediacy of the project will keep it fresh in everyone’s mind and they will be more honest with their answers. An AAR has the advantage of being almost a self-review, where employees can reflect on how they, and the team, performed.

The Mega-Review
Some organizations do what is called a 360 Review, which entails soliciting feedback on an employee’s performance from all levels of the organization. Now, the idea of a 360 is really cool. It is an integrative process and reflects and emphasizes the importance of that employee’s role in the big company picture. The 360 message is, Let’s get company-wide feedback to help people develop into really effective organizational players.

The reality and the application of the 360 review, however, is often a lackluster affair. It’s just too much. But a 360, like any review, can be effective if it’s done right.

First, you must ask the right people for feedback. They must be relevant players and should be people who can really contribute constructive feedback. Second, the review needs to be tied to true organizational or positional success factors. For example, don’t ask about leadership if this person does not have a leadership position. Next, reviewers have to be honest and direct. It is a waste of everyone’s time if they aren’t.

Last, in order for a review to be effective, it must be followed up with a development game plan tailored for that individual. That plan of action has to be monitored and followed up on, or the review is pointless. In 360s, what often happens is that after the review is completed, the results are given to the employee and then nobody ever follows up on it. This is why the mega-reviews are often a complete waste of time. Someone needs to own the process to ensure all the time spent on the darn thing actually produces some tangible results.

How to prepare for your review
If you are going to be reviewed, it is imperative that you be prepared. The best thing to do is to sit down and do your own assessment of your performance and your job itself.
Ask yourself:

What have I done well?
What can I improve on?
Do I have all the tools I need to do my job?
What are my personal/professional goals in this job? In this organization?
What kind of professional development do I need to get to the next level?

Remember, the review is not just about how well you have performed. You should also put the review in the context of where you are now and where you want to be in five years. Think about what you want to get out of it, and then set some goals and intentions for your review.

Reviews can be very stressful. Two key things to remember during your review are to listen and to breathe. I know that seems obvious but it’s not. People get really nervous and remembering to breathe will help you relax. Ask questions that will help you really understand the feedback and your boss’ perspective: Say things like: "Tell me more", "give me more details,"" what would it look like", "give me an example," etc. What you want to do is build a dialogue with your reviewer in order to understand clearly what they are telling you.

Try not to rebut or argue. You want to understand how your actions and how your work is being perceived. The point is to create a dialogue with your boss about how you can improve your performance.

After the review, be proactive and follow up with an action plan to address your feedback. Request time with your boss in a month or two to follow up on and monitor your progress. This is key because part of what you have to do is change perception. Keeping your boss involved in your efforts to improve your performance will force him or her to “see” the improvements. Don’t let your supervisor off the hook in following up. It’s the most important part of the review process.

As an aside, if you are a manager who has to deliver a bad review to an employee, it is very important that you own up to your part of the problem; after all, it was your job to supervise that employee, so you have to be fair and take responsibility for your action (or inaction). This does not mean you let the employee off the hook, but you do have to take an active role in the action plan for improvement.

The right way to review
There are some very simple steps to follow to ensure that reviews are worthwhile, for both the manager and the employee.

Be specific: If you are giving a review, provide specific examples of an employee’s strengths and weaknesses. Give concrete examples of what works and what doesn’t. Put the feedback in context of employee development and organizational contribution and organizational goals—here is why it is important for you to have this skill, here is what is great about you doing this, etc.
Be timely: Provide frequent opportunities, if not full-blown reviews, to give and receive feedback. The more immediate the dialogue the fresher and more honest the answers and the solutions will be. This where the AAR comes in handy.

Follow up: If you give a review you have to follow up on the areas you want to see improvement. The best way to do this is to develop a plan of action for the employee and then set a regular schedule to follow-up. No one will grow and develop professionally without a solid plan of action.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T05:11:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Getting fired or laid off:
How to get survive and get back in the game
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” we discussed how to survive and thrive in the aftermath of losing your job. Whether you were fired or laid off--–there are ways to smooth the transition and get you moving forward more quickly.

It comes like a kick in the stomach. You may have seen it coming. You may have heard rumors or it may be a bolt from the blue. Either way, you’ve just been told you are fired or laid off. What do you do?

First of all, if you see a lay off or termination coming, take the time to prepare yourself and make a list of what is in your pay and benefits package, so you can ask about it. The person doing the firing is probably as nervous and scared as you are, so being prepared is key.

Obviously, if the termination comes as a surprise you will not have the opportunity to do this, so it is critical that you remain calm. In the drama of the moment, you may forget to ask relevant questions, so it is perfectly okay to ask for a few moments to collect yourself. You must stay calm and focused and as professional as possible. The goal here is to preserve the relationship you have with the organization or the manager and if you remain calm you’ll get more information that will help you.

The first thing to find out is why. Ask for specific reasons for your termination or lay off. If it is a lay off, is there a prospective rehire date? If the termination is for performance, ask why. Can you get a letter of reference? Will they help you find another job? Can you meet with the HR department? What will they do for you? This where being calm is critical.

Second, establish some ground rules about the language to be used to describe your termination. Later, when finding a new job, you need to know what you can say about the termination. Will you be able to say it simply wasn’t a good fit, that your department was downsized? Work out the language now with your employer so that when you tell people later you have solid phraseology, something more positive than, “I was fired.”

Next, you need to find out about the company’s severance package. Will you be paid for your unused holiday, vacation, sick or comp time? What about other things that may have been in your pay package, like relocation, mileage or educational expenses? Can you keep your health insurance? Can you take your Rolodex? How about your 401K or other retirement packages? Again, it is hard to remember these things when you are in a tense and upsetting situation, but if you know what is in your package you may be able to ask the right questions.

It is important that, no matter what, you put your best and most professional face forward at this moment. Chances are if you’re fired, you are leaving that day, if not right away. Does it behoove you to rant and rave and say nasty things about your boss as you’re packing up your desk, or should you calmly and quietly get your things and go? You don’t have to put on a happy face, but it is not okay to behave badly. Remember, everyone at your workplace is a potential contact, network or referral source for you. People will remember how you handle this situation, and you want them to remember that you handled it with grace and maturity. You want to preserve the relationship.

Taking the package
Some firms offer terminated employees a severance package and some ask them to sign a non-compete agreement. This depends on your company. A non-compete agreement is usually spelled out when an employees is hired and may not be able to be renogtiated at termination.

If a non-compete is offered at termination I would never sign it until I had a chance to look it over, possibly with an employment attorney. I also would not sign it unless it was tied to a severance package. Ask for a few days to review the document and any package with it. This can be a negotiation tactic on your part, so be professional and take your time to do it right.

Now what? Financial experts say we should all have three to six months of living expenses salted away, so hopefully your finances will be secure for the short-term. You’re going to be upset, so go ahead and take three days to wallow in your misery. But just three. After that, get up and get started. Your new job is to get a new job. Get up everyday as if you are going to work: shower and dress, and sit at your desk to plan and execute your strategy. Don’t turn the TV on or play on the computer. Start looking immediately for a new job.

If your old firm offers career placement or counseling services, set up an appointment right away. Contact friends and colleagues right away. Make sure you get your story straight and that they hear it from you. This doesn’t mean you should lie, but get your spin together. Stay friendly with co-workers and colleagues (this is why leaving gracefully is key). The most important thing is that you stay positive and focused. The worst thing you can do is spiral downward into catastrophic thinking and feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t gossip with former co-workers. Don’t badmouth your boss or company. You’ve got to think positive and act professionally.

Build your network. Make a list of contacts. Redo your resume. Try to be as positive and productive as possible. Use this as opportunity to build your career or to make the changes you’ve been meaning to make. Consider professional temp work—it has always been a great way to land a job and, as everyone knows, it is easier to find a job when you are employed than unemployed.

The most important things to remember are to leave with professionalism and grace. Keep a good relationship with your former employer and co-workers and keep a positive attitude. Wallowing in self-pity will not land you your next job. But keeping your spirits up, your network alive and your mind open will almost certainly help.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2007-06-10T05:01:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Getting Real to Get Ahead...
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Mary discussed the importance of being authentic in the workplace. Can you get ahead by getting real?

Authenticity is one of the cornerstones of success in business. Not very many businesses or professionals succeed based on lies and deceit. The most powerful thing you can do to get ahead is simple: be real. Being authentic means being honest. That entails an emotional equation of confidence + self-awareness + transparency + consistency. In other words, it’s about establishing and showing an honest alignment between your personality, your words and your actions.

Now, we all know plenty of examples of the slick and sinister who manage to be very successful. But when you look closely, they are usually only capable of having successful careers as long as they are able to muster power and financial success together. Look at Michael Eisner. His despotic manners and abysmal treatment of others was tolerated (and even rewarded) while Disney was doing well financially. But when the ink threatened to flow red, his behavior was no longer acceptable, and he was gone. For long-term success, you need to decide how you want to do business and how you want to conduct yourself. How one chooses to engage in the world and with others is a choice we all have, and the choice to be honest and authentic is the smart one for success.

Finding your way in corporate life
Companies and organizations sometimes have a way of tamping down a person’s authenticity so that they will do things that company’s way. The simple solution then is to find a company that suits your personality. Companies and organizations, and even departments within those organizations, have cultures, personalities and ethics just like people do. If you don’t share the company’s values and business ethos, it’s not a good fit. Don’t force a square peg into a round hole. Find a company or a department that compliments you.

Sometimes, being authentic can rub people the wrong way. Being honest and real can often lead to feedback like, “Bob has potential, but doesn’t always fit in” or “Gina has some rough edges.” It is important to strike a balance so that you’re not tagged as “emotional” or with a “strong personality.” The first thing to remember is that being authentic is never an excuse to be rude or unprofessional. It is also not an excuse to forgo professional development. This is about acquiring the skills and behaviors needed to be successful in the workplace and weave them into your personality. For example, I tend to be a little irreverent and a bit informal. That is who I am. But there are ways to be both irreverent and respectful at the same time, just as there are ways to display perfect manners and still create an atmosphere of informality. You can still be yourself and be honest, while at the same time being respectful and treating people well.

What does “real” look like? And how do I get there?
Becoming more aware of your self, how you operate in the world and how you impact people is the key to using your authentic self in business. A good way to learn about yourself is to take a personality test like the Meyers-Briggs. That test and others like it are an excellent tool for self-awareness, as long as you get the proper training around the assessment. Make sure a professional is able to go over the results with you so you can understand and use the information properly.

Studying traits of successful but authentic business people is also a good way to understand what being real looks like. For example, here are three very different authentic leaders: Richard Branson, Warren Buffett and Donald Trump. They each approach life and work very differently, yet you can tell that they are all passionate about what they do. They are consistent in their words, deeds and ambitions. They are not apologetic about who they are and they integrate their personal qualities into their work life, personal life and leadership.

One of the most important traits leaders need is the ability to inspire people to follow them. This is where having strong emotional intelligence and being seen as authentic can really separate the little leaders from the big leaders. Leading people is about inspiring and motivating them. People respond to honesty, authenticity and genuineness. People respond to people who feel “real” to them. Nobody likes a phony and people get nervous and mistrustful when they can’t “read” a person.

In order to get there, there are five things you can do:

Be honest and consistent
Express yourself well
Align your intentions, your words, and your actions
Engage other people and treat them well
Don’t be afraid of being judged

You can get to the top without authenticity, but smart money says to get ahead—you need to get real.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2006-12-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

The Working Life: New Year's Career Resolutions:
Setting Goals for your Career
The Radio Show Recap...

In today’s segment of “The Working Life,” Carol Blymire and I talked about the importance of making New Year’s resolutions for your career. The advent of each new year is a perfect time to pause and not only reflect upon the past year, but also look forward to the coming year. A recent survey reported that a surprising 85% of people that set New Year’s resolutions, don’t set goals for work or career above and beyond what their employer requires of them! So Carol and I discussed how to set reasonable goals for your worklife, whether you love what you do, or want to make changes.

Carol's Question: Everybody knows that we all make New Year’s resolutions, and most of us break them by January 2, if we were even ever serious about them at all. Why is it important to set these kinds of goals for your career?

My Thoughts: It is important to set goals because your career should be something created by you and not imposed upon you or done to you. This means you must take an active approach in creating the life and career-life you want. Setting goals is an important element in career creation. Goals provide milestones and markers for you your career. Creating goals or resolutions helps focus your attention and energy upon your career. By articulating your goals you are setting your intention towards making your desired future happen.

By the way, writing down your goals is extremely powerful. There is something about putting them in a concrete format that actually helps propel us towards them. I’m always shocked that the goals I’ve written down almost always come to fruition. Its kind of freaky, really.

Carol’s Question: Can you talk us through some steps that our listeners can use to think about their past and current work-life situations, evaluate what’s working and what’s not, and then set some goals for the coming year?

My Thoughts: Reflection and evaluation of the past and present is a key element. Just as you might take time to reflect on your personal life—take time to reflect upon your career-life. The simplest thing you can do is to create some modified plus/delta lists:

Write down everything you’ve loved about your current (and past) work lives
Write down everything you would like to do more of (for example—I love doing this show and would like to do more of it) or new things you might like to try
Write down talents, skills, activities that you would like to use in your career
Write down everything you would like to be different—or things you might like to change

Taking the time to reflect in this way provides you with real data and truthful insight into what you want to bring forward into the future. These insights, of course, will lay the groundwork for creating goals that are truly meaningful for you.

Carol’s Question: Can you talk about the broad scope of work-life New Year’s resolutions: job, education, family time, personal enrichment, etc.

My Thoughts: I always think it is better to create career goals in context with life goals. Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work. Therefore, I always try to incorporate personal and professional goals into one master goal setting exercise.

Try using the Wheel of Life to find areas where you may need to do some goal setting. Simply draw a circle (or several circles) and create “pie slices.” Then label each pie slice with a topic. Some ideas for slices: Career, Money, Health, Friends, Family, Significant Other, Personal Growth, Fun & Recreation, Social life, Spiritual life, Physical Environment, etc. Once you have the slices labeled, draw a line across the slice at how satisfied you are with that element of your life—think of the center as 0 and the outer rim as a 10. You’ll quickly see where in your life you might need to set some new goals.

Once you know which elements need attention—simply ask yourself:

What needs to happen in this area to make this a 10?
What would I like more of?
What would I like less of?

Once you do that—set your goals. Once you set your goals—make sure you create some action steps to achie your goals.

Carol’s Question: Is it important to set some goals that are attainable, some that are a reach, and others that are dreams?

My Thoughts: Absolutely. In coaching we call this setting the big “A” Agenda and the little “a” agenda. In fact, I advocate using 3 levels of goals: long term, mid range, and short term goals.
I believe this is important for several reasons. First of all, having long range—Big A—goals keep you thinking about your big picture—it helps move you towards your ultimate life goals. Having smaller goals helps guide you towards your destination: use them as a road map. Your final destination (Big A goal) is going to be marked by the little goals along the way. Think of it like taking a cross-country trip—while your ultimate goal may the other side of the country—your daily goals are going to be the cities, states, and towns you pass through to reach your destination. Short and mid term goals can serve as action plans for your Big A goals. And finally it is important to have smaller, more manageable goals for practical psychological reasons. Sometimes the Big Goal just seems too big. Breaking it up into smaller, bit sized goals makes the goal feel more doable. It removes a huge psychological obstacle that helps you to then see a practical path. Additionally, breaking the big goals up into smaller, bit sized goals enables you to experience real progress towards your big goals which in turns creates more positive energy, confidence and momentum.

Carol’s Question: How important is writing down your goals? What about sharing them with friends or close professional colleagues?

My Thoughts: I think writing down is key. There is something “official” about writing it down. Writing down creates some kind of inner/outer alignment. I’m always amazed that it works. I also think sharing with colleagues can really help. Trusted friends and colleagues can be a great resource for identifying and achieving goals. Anything that helps you take action on your goals is a good thing. Think about how this is done at organizations—creating and sharing goals is key for aligning resources and intentions towards accomplishment.

Carol’s Question: Is there value in pulling together a small group of friends to do this together? Brainstorm ideas, do monthly check-in lunches, hold one another accountable?

My Thoughts: Having a goal setting party or “club” is a fantastic idea. Not only can they help hold you accountable—but they can also help get you “unstuck.” Most of us lose motivation when we get stuck or we can’t see how to get to the end zone. Friends can help you strategize and move forward.

Friends can also be a wonderful “reality check.” They can remind you of your strengths, weaknesses, and underused talents. They can also keep you honest about what you say you want and what you really want. For example, if I told my friends that I wanted to fly around the country giving more keynote speeches—they would immediately roll their eyes and remind me that I hate to travel and that packing completely stresses me out (I never seem to have the right “travel” clothes…).

Carol’s Question: Should you set up a reward system for achieving some of these goals, or sticking to these new resolutions?

My Thoughts: This really depends on who you are. If you are a person who responds to self-rewards, celebrations, etc., then absolutely! But if you’re like me, and celebrating just feels like one more item on your to-do list—then don’t bother. Find what works for you and go for it. Just make sure that when you reach one goal—you have another goal ready and waiting in the wings!

Carol’s Question: Is it okay to change your mind about some of them, as you progress into the year, or is that akin to giving up?

My Thoughts: Absolutely! Your goals should be serving you and not the other way around. Changing, altering, or throwing out goals is perfectly fine. You don’t want to “stay the course” just because you set that goal—if it becomes clear that you really don’t want that goal in your life—then change it. Avoid changing your goals out of fear or insecurity—if that goal represents something very important to you—then dropping it because you are afraid may just set you up for regret and disappointment later on in life. It’s better to try to find a way to incorporate the important elements of that goal into other goals.

Closing Thoughts: Remember achieving your goals requires action. To ensure your career goals come to fruition you must take some action—any action—towards your goals every day. At the end of each day, ask yourself—did the actions I take today move me closer to my goals or further away? Commit yourself to the actions required to accomplish your goals.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2006-12-22T07:40:00.000-08:00

The Working Life: Office Etiquette:
Surviving the Holiday Season!
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Carol Blymire and I discussed workplace etiquette during the holidays. Whether you’re dealing with religious issues, gift-giving, holiday party behavior, or sneaking out for some last-minute shopping, we’re going to talk about how to stay on top of your game during what can be a very busy time of the year, both personally and professionally. Oh, and we also talk about the dreaded office holiday party….

Carol's Question: Let’s start with maintaining professional decorum during the holidays. When is it appropriate, if ever, to decorate your cube or office, wear holiday-themed attire, or talk about how or what you celebrate?

My Thoughts: Discretion here is key. Before doing anything, you might want to check your office policy to see if there are any “official” guidelines. When decorating your office space—simplicity and professionalism are key elements. Unless you work for a specific religious group—its best not to overdue the religious part—so try your best to be tasteful, sensitive and inclusive in your decorating and in your conversations. Remember, this is an office—not your own private villa–so decorations need to be modest. It’s great to have holiday cheer but your cubicle is probably not the best place to install your life-sized Nativity scene.

Carol’s Question: Gift-giving. To whom should you give gifts? Do you always have to reciprocate if someone unexpectedly gives you a gift? Are there people to whom you should NOT give gifts?

My Thoughts: Okay, so lets take these questions one at a time…

Who gives and who gets: Generally speaking, gift giving follows down the chain of command—higher ups give to lower downs. While it is fine to give a gift to your boss—it is not required as a matter of professional etiquette. What is required is that you give gifts (or other holiday sentiments) to people who work directly for you. Other than that, use your discretion. It’s best to stick to what you know and whom you know. Some general guidelines:

Give to close associates or people whom have helped you considerably throughout the year.
Give to your friends (often useful to have a gift-giving conversation prior to the holidays)
Group gifts are great ideas—a box of candy for Accounting, a basket of cookies for Maintenance, anything that says thank you to a group of folks is always welcome (and classy).
If being selective with peers—be discreet. Try to exchange after hours or during a lunchtime outing.

What to give: When giving gifts to business associates and colleagues, remember that the gift is a reflection of you so be thoughtful about the message the gift sends and who the recipient is. Some general guidelines:

Modesty (not cheapness) is key—don’t flash your cash
Booze is not always best. Giving alcohol can be tricky—best to avoid it unless they are close associates whom you know appreciate a fine merlot (without breaking any religous tenets or rehab rules)
Keep it secular and non-personal—the basic rule is don’t give anything that touches the skin: i.e. perfume, jewelry, clothing, undergarments, etc.

Reciprocation: If someone gives you an unexpected gift—you are not technically required to gift back. A heartfelt thank you is enough. However, it is always a good idea to have a few extra gifts on hand for such occasions. I always keep a back up supply of small gifts for such gift emergencies. Please note—there is one exception to this rule—and that is if the gift came from your immediate assistant or the like. Then you better get your butt to the store and buy something great.

Who not to give to: It would be inappropriate to give to a gift to the CEO if you’ve never met him or her. At best you’ll get labeled as a brown-noser—or at worse a weirdo stalker.

Carol’s Question: Holiday parties. How should one behave? Is it okay to drink alcohol with other co-workers? What do you do if you do something embarrassing? How do you handle it the next day?

My thoughts: I love holiday parties–everyone complains incessantly about having to attend them yet if a company doesn’t have one—look out! You’ll hear a cry of indignation loud enough to wake the dead. So try to keep in mind when attending one that the company is doing this for you because you’d have a fit if they didn’t. Here are some guidelines for making sure you put your best foot forward:

Drinking. It’s okay to drink modestly—just remember it is not a keg party—so while it is okay to imbibe with a glass or two of cheer, it is not okay to get hammered
Gaffes. If (and for some of us, when) you do something embarrassing (like drink too much or call the boss’s wife by the wrong name), apologize immediately for the embarrassing behavior/social gaffe and then move on. Don’t keep bringing it up. (This also applies for the "day after" apology. Aplogize to the appropriate people and move on.)
Mingle. Do not hang out with the same people you see every day. This is an opportunity to do some social networking within your organization. Take advantage of it. Meet new people. Make new connections.
Spandex. Dress appropriately—it is a business party. While you can certainly be more “festive” in your attire—remember it should still be appropriate. Leave the micro mini spandex at home.
Be friendly and open—this is a time to show your soft side and meet new people. Try to have some non-business conversations. Movies? Current Events? Great new restaurants? All these are great topics for small talk.
The Better Halves. Be inclusive of other people’s spouses. Incorporate them into the conversation. Act as if you are genuinely pleased to meet them. Also, coach your own spouse on how to interact and mingle. People will judge you by your spouse’s behavior and by how you treat their spouse.

Carol’s Question: Time away from the office—we’ve all done it – extended lunch hours for shopping or long lunches with friends during the holidays. What’s the best way to handle this in the workplace? Should managers look the other way when their employees are gone for long periods of time during November and December?

My thoughts: Allowing a little slack during the holiday season is a nice thing if business is slow. However, employees should be careful not to overdo it and take too much advantage. Your employer doesn’t “owe” you time off to go shopping. Managers should set policy and guidelines early on…let your employees know about your holiday expectations. And, most importantly, managers need to practice what they preach! If you don’t want your employees taking 3 hour lunches at the local mall—then you shouldn’t either!

Carol’s Question: How can you communicate with your boss or manager that you might need some time off to get your holiday errands done? Is it okay to say you have a doctor’s appointment, or is it better to be honest, and promise your work will be done on time?

My thoughts: Well as I said before, Taking time off for your holiday errands is not something your employers “owe” you. So the best, and cleanest way to take time off is to use your official personal time, comp time, or vacation time. Your other alternative is to negotiate extra time directly with your boss. Be professional about your negotiation. Let the boss know what time you want and how you will make up the time or the work.

Carol’s Question: Handling childcare emergencies over the holidays. Is it ever okay to just bring in your kid or kids if the nanny calls in sick and they’re home from school on winter break?

My thoughts: Again, you’ll need to check your office policy on this matter. In our child-centric world, we often forget that offices are adult environments. People may be doing or saying things that you don’t want your child to hear/see. Please remember that not all workplaces are appropriate or safe for children.

And no workplace is ever appropriate for sick children. Never Ever. Sorry.

Carol’s Question: The holidays can be a very stressful time, especially if people are already under duress at work or at home. Any warning signs we should be aware of during this time of year that might indicate someone is having a rough time?

My thoughts: Yes. There are some signs. A dramatic mood shift at work—the inability to get work done or a dramatic change in quality or tone of work may be an indication that something is wrong. Things such as sudden forgetfulness, depression, social withdrawal, increased substance use or abuse, recklessness, jumpiness, hyper attentiveness, aggression, or getting easily upset or enraged are all signs that someone may be having a rough time.

Closing thoughts on the season of "joy!": The Holiday Season can be stressful and difficult. Being organized and flexible are essential ingredients to surviving the season in style. Some tips to getting it all done without losing it:

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize! Make lists and schedule adequate time for your tasks. Get your most important stuff done first!
Be realistic—don’t underestimate the time needed to complete projects or errands
Get plenty of rest—it is important to give your mind and body time to rejuvenate itself
Keep things in perspective! Do you really need to spend an hour finding the perfect gift for your second cousin twice removed—or would a gift card to Starbucks work just as well? Does that presentation have to be color-coded and cross-indexed?
Try giving theme gifts—find one great thing and give it to lots of people
Keep a sense of humor. If things get messed up this year—don’t worry, you’ll get another chance to get it right (or wrong) again next year!

Happy Holidays!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2006-11-22T11:50:00.000-08:00

The Working Life: A Guide to Better Meetings
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay speaks with Carol Blymire about running better meetings. Meetings are an important tool for organizational work--yet too often these meetings are unproductive and poorly run. The following article by Mary Abbajay summarizes the main principles of productive meetings.

A Guide to Better Meetings

When is the last time you said, "I wish I could attend more meetings!" or “That was a great meeting—when can we do it again?!”

Recent studies report that managers spend an average of 40%-50% of their working hours in business meetings. To make matters worse, it is reported that the majority of these professionals say that 50% of their meetings are unproductive—a waste of time–and that up to 25% of most meeting time is spent discussing irrelevant issues. It is no surprise to anyone working today that most people surveyed say that their meetings are too long, too unfocussed and too unproductive.

The Meeting Cost Calculator. Next time you think that bad unproductive meetings are just a way of organizational life—consider how much poor unproductive meetings cost your business in real dollars. Simply figure out how much your organization is paying for the time spent in unproductive ventures. For example: if 10 people who each make 100,000 each spend 10 hours a week in unproductive meetings—then that organization is throwing away $5,000 a week—or $260,000 a year in lost productivity. And that is only based on 10 employees! Can your organization really afford to throw away resources like this?

It doesn’t have to be this way. Meetings can and should be one of the most productive, effective and satisfying work tools available. Meetings can and should be the place where the organization gets important work done. It is where groups of people come together to brainstorm, hash out ideas, reach decisions, share information, coordinate projects and tasks, develop new directions and create shared visions. Meetings can and should be the place where people’s talents, skills, and experience are effectively mined, used, and appreciated.

Creating excellent meetings isn’t magic. Great meeting leaders respect the art of the meeting and value their attendees’ time and resources. They take the time to learn and utilize the essential principles and skills of leading great meetings.

9 Principles of Productive Meetings

1. Have clear outcomes.
Create a clear purpose or outcome for your meeting. It’s amazing how many people schedule meetings without clarifying the purpose or objective for the meeting. Typically meetings have several major functions or activities:

Information
Input
Brainstorming/Problem Solving
Decision Making

Think of the meeting purpose as a hanger from which everything else “hangs”. Ask yourself

What do I need this meeting to accomplish?
What will be different after this meeting?
What will the participants get out of this meeting?

Once you have determined your purpose, then ask yourself: “Is holding a meeting the best way to accomplish this goal?” You might be surprised at your own answer.

2. Invite the right people.
Base attendance on purpose. Determine who needs to attend to accomplish purpose and objectives of the meeting. Invite only those whose participation is needed and or required. Ensure everyone knows why they are invited and what you need from them. Over inviting is just as ineffective as under-inviting. Ask yourself:

Who needs to be involved in this meeting to accomplish the outcome?
What are the different elements of input do I need?
Whose support/input do I need to reach the meeting goal?

In addition to making sure you invite the right people--be sure you have the appropriate meeting "roles" filled and that participants understand their roles. Roles to consider:

Meeting leader
Scribe
Time Keeper
Expertise provider

3. Create an agenda.
An agenda does not have to be laborious or confining. The purpose of an agenda is to give the meeting shape and structure. It also helps participants keep track of where they are and where they are going. But most importantly, an agenda will keep your meeting from drifting into interesting—but unproductive territory. In addition to creating your agenda based on the meeting purpose--also consider the following:

What pre-work needs to be done?
How much time do we need to accomplish our meeting?
What do participants need to know before they come into the meeting?
Who is going to create and “hold” the agenda?

4. Design your meetings.
Design the meeting with desired outcomes in mind. Spend some time “designing” and outlining the conversations needed to accomplish your goal. Think of the meeting as a series of conversations. It is important to design and organize these conversations or topics into a series of conversations that will become a road map to reaching your meeting goal. Think through the needed conversations and the manner in which you will have them. Determine an effective meeting process and design:

What is the best way to have these conversations?
What order should these conversations happen?
Use appropriate group conversation techniques to create the most effective conversations

5. Be explicit about decisions.
Talk about the decision-making process up front. Think through what decisions (if any) will be made as a result of this meeting and how those decisions will be made. Be as transparent as possible regarding the level of input the participants have in making decision. Make sure the meeting participants understand the decision making process. (They don’t have to agree—they just need to be clear). A good meeting leader should know and communicate:

What if any decisions need to be made as a result of this meeting?
Who is going to make them?
How will they be made?
When will they be made?
What is the role of the meeting participants in the decision making process?
Who needs to be informed of the decision?
How will they be informed?

6. Use the wisdom in the room.
Facilitate for balanced participation. The best way to make sure you tap into the intelligence and smarts of your attendees is to make sure you get all voices heard.
Make sure you properly use the expertise of the people in the room. You invited them for a reason—it is the meeting leader’s responsibility to get the best out of people.

Don’t let a small number of people dominate the conversation
Actively seek out the opinion of those who tend to under-talk
As leader, be aware of the impact of your opinion
Use ground rules to help keep dialogue open and effective

7. Be space savvy.
Use physical space and time to your advantage. Consider the physical environment an important factor in your meeting structure. Where and when meetings are held have an impact on how people engage with each other. Make the meeting space fit the meeting purpose. Basically the space and setup reflect the type of conversation that will ensue. Formal set ups beget formal conversations and vice versa. The physical environment does affect how people will converse with each other. Consider the following:

Small tight rooms create more focused conversations
Large rooms create conversations with more space/less intimacy
Standing meetings tend to be briefer and more action oriented
Large conference tables tend to create more formality
A “theater” type set up promotes a one-way conversation (speaker speaks, audience listens)
Sitting in circles or U-shapes creates more conversation among participants
Food creates more relaxed conversation
Be careful of time of day. Late afternoon meetings tend to have less energy and creativity. Meeting after lunch can often be deadly as energy tends to dwindle after lunch. On the flip side, early morning meetings may be tough for brainstorming sessions as people may not be completely “revved up” yet.

8. Close it up right!
Every meeting needs to have a proper closing. This means the end of each meeting should have a recap, next steps and an evaluation. The “Law of Primacy and Recency” says that people remember the first thing and the last thing that happens to them in a structured setting. Therefore make sure you end all meetings effectively and constructively. Include the following:

Recap the meetings accomplishments. Make sure everyone walks out of the meeting with the same sense of what happened. This is especially true for decisions that were made during the meeting.
Verbally review next steps. Make sure everyone in the meeting knows exactly who is going to do what by when.
Evaluate. Take a few minutes to evaluate your meeting. This may seem silly but those few minutes can help you create extraordinary results over the long haul. Simple ask your participants the following two questions: (i) What worked well in this meeting? and (ii) What could make our meetings even better?

9. Follow up for success.
The number 1 thing you can do to ensure your meetings are considered worthwhile is to follow up and follow through with the meeting outcomes and next steps. People need to see the fruits of their labor in order to feel that their time and talents are well used. If your meeting generates action items, then make sure those action items are followed through on and communicated back to the meeting participants. People want to feel as if their time and input was valuable. Show them that it was!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2006-10-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Workplace Etiquette 101
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of “The Working Life,” Carol Blymire interviewed me about Workplace Etiquette. The general consensus from the media is that we have become a very rude and ill-mannered society—and the workplace appears to be no exception. Workplace etiquette can run the gamut from how to eat at your desk without offending others to wearing too much cologne or perfume, to waiting your turn to speak and not interrupting someone, to basic rules of respect. Carol and I discussed some basic rules and guidelines to ensuring proper office behavior.

Carol’s Question: How different are the etiquette rules in the home versus the office?

My Thoughts: While some rules vary—the philosophy and intent is the same. Etiquette and manners are about 3 things:

Putting other people at ease by showing respect, courtesy & caring
Being fully present to the other person
Putting other people first!!!

Business etiquette is extra important because if you display good manners, then you are essentially creating an environment where the other person feels great about themselves—and that is the surest way to build better business relationships.

Carol’s Question: Let’s talk about some basics that affect three of our senses – sound, sight and smell – so that would mean noise levels, keeping a neat work area, and being aware of basic hygiene. Again, these sound like no-brainers, but are often common complaints in the workplace. Any thoughts?

Mary’s Answer: It is amazing how often "no-brainers" are ignored in the workplace. While there are many “etiquette rules” for us to follow, I’ve put together a basic list of essential workplace do’s and don’ts:

Cubicle Common Sense:

Do not enter unless invited: every cubicle has an imaginary door—learn to respect it.
Turn down the volume: do not speak or laugh loudly—this includes, music, speaker phones, idle chatter, personal phone calls, etc. Remember—you are sharing the space with others and the first rule of etiquette is to put other people first!
Do not use your cubicle as kitchen or bathroom—this space is unacceptable for generating odors, overdoing grooming, or hosting parties. Remember, the door is only imaginary!
Do not discuss confidential matters. Sounds and voices carry. It is bad form to discuss private/confidential matters in a public space.
Keep the cubicle neat and orderly—it is not your “home” away from home. Your workspace must always look professional and organized.

Email Etiquette

Send the email message only to those who absolutely need the information. This means take it easy on the “reply all” button.
Respond to email promptly. Even if you are not prepared to provide the requested information or action—let the sender at least know that you have received their communication.
Make the subject heading clear and succint. Don’t make the receiver guess as to the contents of the email. For example if you are sending information for an upcoming meeting—announce it in the title.
Include your telephone number or other signature on every email. Don’t assume that people have all of your information—especially since many people access their email remotely.
Business emails should always be about business. If you want to send personal emails do so from a personal account. By the way, this is not only proper etiquette—but it smart professional behavior. Your employer “owns” your email account and all the correspondence in it.
Always use a spell & grammar check! Always.

The Forgotten Art of Introductions

Firm handshakes please! Grip palm to palm. Hold briefly, make eye contact, and say something engaging like: “How do you do?” or “Good to see you again.” Most importantly—don’t forget to smile.
When introducing two people to each other always name the higher status person first. For example, if you are introducing your boss to your secretary, you will say, Bob Boss, I’d like you to meet Sally Secretary. If the status levels are equal or unknown either use the elder person’s name first or person whom you know the least first (they’ll be flattered).
Always offer your own business card first! And never ask for the card of a higher status person—wait for them to offer it to you. If they want you to have it—they’ll offer. And be sure to take a moment to admire the card.
Handle forgotten names with grace and if all else fails, honesty.

Tips for handling the name game:
Tip 1: Always re-introduce yourself to relatively new acquaintances. Something like: “Hi, my name is Jane Doe, we met last year at the XYZ conference.” Savvy people will respond in kind with their name.
Tip 2: When at a function that provides nametags—be sure to position the tag high on your left lapel. This prevents you from accidentally covering up your nametag as you reach out your right arm.
Tip 3: If you find yourself talking with someone who’s name you have forgotten, have a friend help you out. Simply say to the unknown person, “have you met my friend, Jane?” Hopefully, the person will give their name to Jane. If not, Jane must be prepared to say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” It is a good idea to pretend to be sipping a drink or waving to someone else during this time so as to cover up the fact that you didn’t give a proper introduction.

Better Business Meals

Follow the guide of the host and the rest of the party when it comes to liquor, appetizers, desert etc. Do not drink liquor unless the host (the boss) does so--espcially at lunch. Do not prolong the group meal by being the only one who orders appetizers, deserts, etc.
Never talk business during the meal. Before or after. Sometimes between courses—but never during.
Learn the proper utensils and use them. (If unsure—follow the lead of others. If busted, laugh and admit your error.)
Avoid messy foods like spaghetti, ribs, chicken wings, etc. Eat food that is easily handled and that has a low risk of spillage!
Follow your diet quietly. If you have special restrictions—call the restaurant ahead of time to inquire about food preparation. Do not subject your companions to a lengthy discussion with the waiter about what you can and cannot eat. While it is okay to ask for your salad dressing on the side—it is not okay to grill the waiter on the preparation of every dish before ordering.

Carol's Question: What about someone who constantly interrupts in meetings? What do you do if it’s your boss doing it?

Mary’s Answer: If it is your boss doing it—then you really don’t have much wiggle room. You can’t really point out his rudeness (because that would be rude) and you can’t really request he wait until you are finished (because, well, he’s the boss). You'll just have to endure politely.

Otherwise you can gently redirect. Remember etiquette isn’t about controlling others-it is about controlling oneself. So the key to good etiquette is to make the other person comfortable—which means you cannot reprimand them!

If it is your meeting—then you have the right to set ground rules about interrupting. If it is your meeting you can also intercede on another’s behalf. Example: “Tom, if you could hold on one second, I want to make sure I understand Jane’s point before we move on. “ Intercede politely and respectfully.

Other Tips for curbing interruptions:

Gently hold up your hand and say with a smile: "Excuse me, Bob, if I could just finish my thought.,,
Use I language, not you language. Don't say: "You are interrupting me." Do say: "I appreciate your patience while I complete my thoughts."
Most importantly don’t interrupt others—and if you do, you better have a good reason, apologize profusely and be brief.
To ensure you are not interrupting, count to 2 before speaking.

Carol’s Question: A big no-no, even though we’ve all done it, is workplace gossip. What are your thoughts on this?

Mary’s Answer: This is really more of a business savvy question than an etiquette question. And I know you know that I am going to tell you NOT to gossip! While it is quite alluring, it really is never ever a good idea. However, when approached by a gossip—you certainly don’t want to insult the gossiper.

What you want to do is to gently redirect the conversation away from the gossip. You could try something like this:

“Yes, I did hear something about Jane’s meeting with Ted—dear me sounds like they have some work to do! Say, I need to ask you about the Pensky file…” OR
“Oh, yes, I did hear about Jane. Thanks for reminding me—I’ve been meaning to call and check up on her all day. Oh my, look at the time—gotta run!”

If possible don’t say something snotty like… "Yes I heard about Jane and I don’t think it is at all appropriate to discuss it. I’m not the kind to engage in petty gossip." This not only insults the gossiper, but makes them your enemy. (And someday you may need access to their grapevine.)

Carol’s Question: What about money discussions? Department budgets are fair game, I think, for discussion, but talk about individual salaries and bonuses can cause trouble. What are the rules for talking about money in the workplace?

Mary's Answer: The rules for talking about money are clear: If it involves personal exposure (for you or others) and makes the other person uncomfortable don’t do it. If it makes you uncomfortable and requires exposure, don’t do it. Use your common sense.

Carol’s Question: What do you do if you overhear someone being rude to a co-worker or client?

Mary’s Answer: Well, it really depends on the situation.

If you are “overhearing” it means you are eavesdropping and there isn’t much you can do except check-in with each party later. Your only other "polite" option here is to conveniently walk past the conversation, "notice" their difficulty and offer assistance.

If you are part of the conversation, then you can and should intervene gently and tactfully to remedy the situation. Diplomatically intercede to ensure that business is conducted with respect and courtesy. Sometimes things aren't so much a question of etiquette as they are a matter of tact and diplomacy.

Carol’s Question: If you’re a supervisor and you need to address some etiquette concerns among your team of with an individual employee, what’s the best way to do that?

Mary’s Answer: Gently, tactfully, and directly. Here are the guidelines:

Individual concerns require a private conversation.
A team concern deserves a team discussion.
Don’t turn an individual thing into a team thing.

Carol’s Question: What is the rule of etiquette when it comes to gift-giving in the office?

Mary's Answer: Bosses give. Employees receive. Thank you notes are always required. Other than that the same social rules apply. In other words, gifts are gifts and not some kind of quid pro quo.

Carol’s Question: Being in Washington, where politics is king, how do you handle yourself in the workplace when people are talking about elections, candidates, issues, or other topics related to politics?

Mary’s Answer: This is not so much etiquette as good common sense. Is this really an appropriate conversation in a business setting? Remember at work—you should be talking about work. You are not being paid to create political policy.

Carol’s Question: Do those same rules apply to talk about sex and religion?

Mary’s Answer: Yes.

Closing Thoughts: Remember, the goal of etiquette is to put other people at ease. To focus on making them comfortable and well cared for. When in doubt, always ask yourself whose needs you are meeting--theirs or yours?

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

2006-10-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

The Working Life: Office Q & A:
Listener Questions Part 2
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay answers listener's questions about their working life dilemmas. Ratty work clothes, annoyng HR policies, lazy college graduates, job ruts and more!

Listener Question: A girl who works for me on our sales team has a very ratty wardrobe. She is articulate and smart, but often has stains on her jackets or holes in her clothes and I know our potential clients see it and I think it has a negative impact on our sales rate. Can I say anything about it to our boss? Should I offer to take her shopping? We're friendly with one another, but we really don't hang out together outside of work, so it might be a weird offer.

Mary's Answer: Take her shopping? No. Rat her out to your boss? No. Take the time to mentor her? Yes.

Because more than a shopping trip or a demerit from the boss, this young woman needs a mentor or supervisor at work who clearly sees her potential and cares enough about her future to help her out here. Imagine what an enormous gift it would be to this girl if there were someone to pull her aside and say, “Katie, we need to talk about improving your professional image. While you are one of the most talented young team members we have here at XYZ, I’m afraid your clothes are not creating the professional image needed to be successful. I want to make sure your star continues to rise so lets talk about how you can align your professional image more appropriately to your position here.”

Know anyone who can do that?

Listener Question: I have someone working for me who I inherited from another team when we merged two groups. To put it nicely, she is incompetent. I know there was a case being built to fire her before she was assigned to me, but since I'm her new manager, we have to start from scratch. If I work in an "employed at-will" state, then why do I have to build a case? Why can't I just fire her? I feel like HR is making me do so much extra work that it's taking away from working with the employees on my team who are doing a good job.

Mary's Answer: Multiple choice answer, choose one:

When given lemons, make lemonade.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
When one door closes, another door opens.
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
It is not the destination that matters, but the journey.

Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t like and that quite frankly don’t make much sense. But that doesn’t mean that these situations are completely without pay off. Consider the following benefits:

With a little coaching, maybe the person is salvageable. You could use this opportunity to hone your mentoring skills.
By treating this woman with respect and compassion, you can put a big chip in the karma favor bank.
HR may now owe you a favor. Make sure they know it.

I’m not a fan of the extended termination policy. And I am certainly not a fan of just passing poor performing employees around and around. I don’t think it really behooves anyone in the situation to drag it out. That being said, however, please remember that having an at-will employment policy doesn’t mean you get to trample people’s civil rights—so there may be reasons beyond the surface that is giving HR pause. So for some reason your HR department wants to take this slow. Discuss it openly with them. Tell them you need clarification on their strategy. Make sure they know this is not your preferred strategy—but that you’re happy to help them out and do it their way (or whatever language your organization uses to add chits to the favor bank).

A client of mine recently employed this strategy when she inherited a “lemon” from another department. HR repaid her teamwork by fast tracking some much needed paperwork for a newly created position. She drank her lemonade in a tall frosty glass with lots of ice.

Listener Question: I'm in a rut. I work in client services for an accounting firm and I like my company and the people I work with, but the work just isn't challenging anymore. There's nowhere for me to move within the company, but I'm not sure I want to leave. How do I know if this is a temporary rut, or if it's a bigger sign that I should be thinking about challenging myself instead?

Mary's Answer: Now that you are armed with a little more self-knowledge, here are some options for you:

Since you like your company (which, by the way, is nothing to sneeze at in today’s world), the first thing you should do is talk with your boss. Tell him/her how much you love working there and that you’d love to learn some new skills/try some new projects/tackle some new challenges. You may be surprised by some of the opportunities one can get just by asking.
Start exploring what kind of challenge/career you are looking for. There are many great books out there and exercises for you to do some self-exploration. See my earlier posting: Help I hate my Job for specific resources and exercises.
Talk to people in fields/occupations/jobs that you find intriguing. Find out what those jobs are really like.
Hire a career coach or counselor

Remember—don’t let that “temporary” rut turn into a permanent rut. I know it can be scary/annoying/time-consuming to change jobs/careers—but wouldn’t it be better to spend the bulk of your working life energized, engaged, and stimulated?

Good Luck!

Listener Question: I just graduated college and started my first job this year. I am having a hard time adjusting to working. I'm a night person, and find it difficult to think or get much of anything done before noon. I also think maybe work is not for me, right now, and that I should go to law school. Did you have a hard time adjusting to work after college, or is it just me?

Mary's Answer: Did I have a hard time adjusting to work? Uh, no. Personally, I love to work. Seriously. I was more excited about turning 16 because I could get a job than because I could get a drivers license. The thought of making my own money was thrilling. But that’s me.

Now lets talk about you. The adjustment from college to work can be very difficult for some people. Becoming a structured, responsible person with regular hours and commitments doesn’t come easy for everyone. So instead of smacking you upside the head—I’ll use my hand to express 5 points:

Adjusting to a working life will be more difficult when the work doesn’t suit one. Do you like the work? Is it interesting to you? Maybe is not so much “working” as the particular work you are doing. Try to find something that interests you.
If you’re not used to being a “day” person. Go to bed earlier. Get yourself on a regular schedule. It takes some discipline and time to readjust our body clocks.
If you’re truly a night person—then get a night job. There are plenty of interesting (and respectable) night jobs.
Try not express the following “I think maybe work is not for me, right now…” to anybody who:

is over 25
b. does not have a trust fund
c. has to support themselves or others,
d. might hire you someday
e. knows your parents
f. may be reading your grad school application

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go to law school just to avoid having to get up before noon. Go to law school because you want to be a lawyer—or at least because you have some interest or passion in the legal field. Besides, the fact that law school costs lots of money, successful lawyers tend to be total workaholics!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html